Surrender Dorothy 2013

Can we let go of the lessons of 2013? Can we empty ourselves enough to make room for what we don't know?

Thank you 2013 for all that was presented to me. Thank all of you for being a part of the show.  2013 was a growthful, expansive year, laced with the theme of healing. 

Simple. Profound. Complete. Yet still happening. Life is very cool that way.

And yummy.

I raise my glass and say "good job everyone!"

Clink clink sip guzzle laugh cry dance

Dust it off

You are 1 year older. Wiser. More evolved. You are not the person you once were. You have transformed.

Blow the ash and residual physical dust off of your light and "shine mutha effers!" Thank you 500 hr Mexico ladies. 

The ash is just proof that you've transformed. So let it go. Your life is proof enough. You don't need a souvenir. Your life is the souvenir. Keep the fullness of the feeling, but let go of the physical attachment to the format. And shine mutha effers! 

#shinemuthafuckers #happynewyear #imsmarternow #idgiveanythingforafeatherduster

Stop! or not...

That voice inside your head. Or your heart. The one that says "stop." Does it mean it? Do you believe it? Is it fucking with you inside your head? Or was that inside your heart?

I was taken by these stop signs on our trip to the strange land of Indio, southeast of Palm Springs. Are these signs actual indicators of the voices inside our heads (or hearts)? Do they whisper? Do they shout? and you know what i'm talking about...

whisper

 normal voice

 shout

These were actual stop signs within a 2 block radius. No stop signs were harmed in the publishing of this blog. 

PEACE!!!!! 

and RELAX DAMMIT!!!!

or just psssst 

" stop "

as my good friend Jillian said -- "and now we rest...."

thank you

Fishing

Instead of fishing for compliments, compliment yourself. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Let your opinion of yourself be the one that truly matters.

Be your own best friend, and you will attract friends who love and appreciate you for who you really are. 

I can

Yesterday

I cut a can

With a ginsu knife

Sliced right through that sucker

And yes, it could still slice a tomato.

Sometimes, when given the opportunity 

Ya gotta check that shit out

There was a can and a knife

And a curious me

Hee Hee hee

Duck walk

Sometimes in the heart of all, we feel like a lone duck taking a walk. And then we see one. 

Under a rock

If you are resting under a rock
and you feel the time of the ticking clock
and your light is bright but fails to shine
and you want your life to look like mine (meaning anyone outside of yourself)

Stay and rest until your done
and when you're ready, become the sun
that lives inside your infinite heart
and soulfully sing as the rock you roll

away from fear of pleasing folks
away from hiding behind the jokes
away from looking for posi-strokes

because you are the one who beats the drum
that accompanies your voice
as you express exactly what it is you are here to

Patience

A wise person pointed out to me, "just because you are calm, it doesn't mean you are not judging."

Patience. Just because we are patient, just because we are willing to wait, it doesn't mean that we are not silently, calmly, patiently judging...

Patience is a gateway to non-judgement. Check it out o ye patient ones. Are we really in a state of non-judgement, or do we silently judge away from our state of inner calm.

Reflecting on this and observing myself and the very wise person, i came to some realizations. Yes. Just because a person is calm, they may still be judging. They may still carry a charge. A button can still be pushed.  And the contrary is also true. Just because someone is acting out, being dramatic, doesn't mean they are in a judgmental state. They may not be carrying any charge. In fact, there may be a case now and then where the calm one is actually judging the dramatic one even though it may look like the dramatic one is "less conscious" than the calm one.

So, don't judge a book by its cover, cuz unless you are the book, you probably don't really have a clue as to what is inside.

Duck duck goose

Why did the goose cross the road? 

Seriously.

The grass was just as green on the other side. But maybe it was the thrill of webbed feet hitting pavement. And that could just be enough of a reason. 

Why do we do anything? Hmmmm. Because we can? Because we can get to the other side? Because then we will have been on both sides. 

Christmas cheer

When does Christmas cheer turn into Christmas beer? When it's on the heels of a $12 Cosmo. 

As I sit at Sip, industry party, I realize how out of the loop I've been. Perfect hair and eyebrows everywhere I turn. People are "on." Camera ready. Really camera ready. And for right now, so am I. 

Years ago I would have been freakin a bit about impressin the shit

Outa people who know people

But now I'm fine with the crap

And feel the clap 

Of applause in my head

Cuz "addicted to love" just came on. And that song is badass.

And so am I 

And so is every soul in this room

Perfect eyebrows or not.

So yeah. I'm skipping the Christmas beer and staying with the cheer 

Of wisdom.

And Robert Plant.

Good night sweet beats. I'm outa here.

With love and gratitude and a smile

And that speaks volumes to my heart 

And eyebrows

Eye brow

Eye bow

To You

Band aids

Riffing off of a comment from yesterday's blog. Talking about physical changes. JL, a long time student and a great source of inspiration said on a Facebook comment, "mind over matter right? But a good massage can help."

Yes JL- ultimately mind over matter, and practically speaking when working with a physical injury or malaise, it may be not enough to think "relax my shoulders" or "stop leaning to the left" or stop tilting my head to the right," at some point, I actually have to physically change what I am doing. Otherwise the massage is just a bandaid. 

I see this frequently in yoga class. People come in with a variety of ailments, and in spite of their own good intentions, they continually repeat the same set if movement patterns that either caused it in the first place, or continue to exacerbate it. 

Why? Because at some point, they thought they were doing the right thing. They thought what they were doing was helpful. And it probably was. But we get stuck in the past or fixated on the future. "I will learn to handstand no matter what!"  I applaud the willpower if that statement, but if someone has been practicing, and still isn't handstanding, then maybe 1) they need to keep practicing, or 2) they haven't found the most efficient way to practice for them. And if a person wanting to learn to handstand has a shoulder or wrist injury, then they need to be aware that their journey will be different than the person who is not injured. 

If you want to run a marathon, at some point you have to start walking. If you have a sprained ankle and have no cardio fitness,  your starting point will be different than someone who already runs 5 miles a day. The 5 mile "head start" dies not guan tree a faster result. The 5 mile head start person could think they can skip steps and get injured, knocking them out of the race. Te ankle sprain may also skip steps and keep reinjuring the ankle, but they may also accept where they are, forget that they were a distance runner back in high school, and start at the beginning. For them. And win the race.

Yes, a massage can help, but at some point, we have to start physically dealing with our patterns, habits, injuries, but changing how we move. Like carrying that heavy handbag on the other shoulder. Or get a roller bag. Or stop handstanding until it gets better, and then start at the beginning and systematically change how you were handstanding in the first place so you don't reinjure yourself. Because if you keep stepping in the same home everyday, that ankle sprain will probably not go away. 

Unless you are training yourself to not be physically or emotionally affected by stepping in the hole. Then carry on my wayward son! There'll be peace when you are done. Or a shitload of doctor bills.

Or put a bandaid on it. I like the kind with cartoons.

;)

A Whole Hole

How many of us have ever felt like we have a hole in our heart? show of hands?

That's what I thought. Inspired by the work of Bonnie Cohen, the teaching of pandit rajmani tigunait, and the yoga sutras of Patanjali, we all have a Whole in our hearts. The Whole (that phrase first coined to me by Dennis Adams). The Whole in our hearts is the light that knows no sorrow. The light of remembrance. The light that knows no sorrow because it recognizes the Whole that is both inside and out.

So yes, I have a Whole in my heart. And there was a time when it felt like a hole. But now it's a Whole hole.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Love that song.

So let's cut to the change.

physical complaints:
oh my aching back
my shoulder is blown out
my neck hurts
i never drink enough water
i don't get enough exercise

here's the thing. for each one of those physical complaints, we make choices to move or act in a certain way. A pattern, if you will. And you will.

We want to change. We want our back to feel better. Our neck to stop bugging us. Our shoulders be less tense.

We can go to as many yoga classes as we can fit into our schedule. Yes. It's great. But if we want to change, we have to stop doing whatever it is that we have done to create the thing we want to change. In other words, if we want to change, we have to change what we do. If I want my shoulders to stop being blown out, I need to stop whatever I've done to blow them out.

So. Am I willing to change? Or is it easier to complain and live with the pain?

No judgement. Just something to consider.  And once we have considered, does our relationship to the complaining change, now that we have awareness that we actually do hold the cards…

hmmm….

damn it! I thought ibuprofen was the answer!
and it was - but can it compete with the daily grind?

ibuprofen can help. but at some point, I have to move my shoulders differently if I want to stop having pain. and change can be painful, albeit not physically.

Sometimes the tapas of the mind is more uncomfortable than even the tightest Lululemon top.

just saying...

Feastival of Lights

My life span has included a number of amazing events.
Man on the Moon
the year 2000
and this year, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah are on the same day. That won't happen again for a very very very long time. The radio said it would never happen again. I, of course, won't go that far, but you get the picture.

A cool combination. A Feast of Lights. When we think feast, we often think heavy, so why not capitalize on the inherent Light of the day. Lightly feast? Feast on Light.

Be the light that you are and you will never go hungry.
Feast on your Self and the Knowingness that lies within and you will never be confused.
Feast on the Present Moment and you will never feel depressed.
Feast on the Whole and you will never feel unworthy.
Feast on non-judgement and you will ride the center line.
Feast on fun and you will never be bored.
Feast on love and you will remember who you are.


And for a person that didn't want to commit to the use of the word "never" at the beginning of this blog, well, let's just say I got off my judgement of the word and trusted the Whole to make sure the point gets across in the perfect way for each light who reads this.

And thank you.
Gracias-tude.

Full of Tude

I am thankful that I love myself enough to feel fully grateful.
Fully great.    Full.
So full…

Toodle oodle doo!

Flip a bit o 'tude! Show some 'tude! Got tude? Don't mean rude.

It's the attitude of gratitude. So show yourself some.

With or without the 'tudinal flip, I am thankful that you are here. I am thankful that you read this. I am thankful that there is a person/being/anything really to thank.

Thanks tude

Gratis-tude-  thanks for free. Unconditional thanking

What's behind the curtain

A few blogs ago, on Nov 10, 2013,  I wrote this:

Sharing is caring

And I'm sharing. In this moment I am so full of it, I want to share all of it with you! So in the spirit of Let's Make a Deal, do you want some of what I'm full of? 

I'm giving you all the _____________ you want! It's up to you. Do you want it? Let me know and I'll tell you what's behind the curtain.

and i never told you what's behind the curtain. I got distracted with the Distraction series. Then had some dragons to deal with. truthfully, i totally forgot.

What is behind the curtain is YOU. You are the curtain. So yes, you are the great and powerful Oz, the trip and the car, the Home of Shangrila.

I am full of it and full of you and full of black and full of blue
My closet's also full of shoes
and yes I've paid my union dues
so time to read the headline news

I'm full of it and full of you.
I shared because I cared.

And I am ever so grateful for you.

Dragons are People Too - Pt 2

So I've been out on a journey, sharpening my blade, my wits, and my typing fingers (do we still call it typing? keyboarding? snowboarding? jean - read your blog about distractions dude!)

Sharpening up to deliver the blow. And if you have expectations right now, you might want to drop those cuz it may not be that big of a blow after all.

In the Nov 18 blog, I alluded to fairy tales, root vegetables, ok - roots - vegetable not specified, but possible, natural disasters (which pair perfectly with roots if you look at my hair right now!), and money. Here it is - draw your sword o Dragon!

When we talk about survival in our culture, what does it really boil down to? Money. Do I have enough money to live? If I don't have enough money to live, then I will die. This keeps us in jobs we don't like, gives us an excuse to behave in certain ways - i.e. - i have to put my job first, otherwise I will die, etc…  And if we are "poor," living hand to mouth, paycheck to paycheck, or not even having a paycheck, our biggest concern is getting what we need to stay alive one more day.

Let's just say we are a in a family that's "poor." We have a built in pet - a dragon, a demon, something to blame, something to live for, something to band together to fight. Just like when tsunamis and hurricanes hit, we have a "reason" to forget who we think we are for a moment, and fight the dragon, the demon, the evil that hurt my fellow people. But what happens once we slay the dragon?

Once we slay the family pet, the dragon, and my family has more than enough money, towns are rebuilt and thriving, we are no longer fighting for survival. We are no longer stuck in the root chakra. We no longer live in constant fear of our lives. Now we can sit up and take a breath and start being who we think we are. Happily ever after? Let's look at fairy tale...

Take that family that was working together to survive. Now they have the trips, the cars, the time. Have you heard this comment "We were so happy when we were poor? Money has ruined everything!" (only people with money will say that btw). Money ruined nothing. It eliminated your excuse to stay in your root chakra and make fear based decisions. Now that death is off the table (not exactly true, but for now, let's just run with that), we are left ourselves, sans dragon. And we are left with the person who was fighting next to you. What if your relationship only works when you are fighting a demon? What if when you move out of fear to the next level, you have nothing to talk about? What if now that you know you will live to see another day, you start acting like yourself - warts and all, and that pushes your partner's buttons to high heaven and vice versa? What if you are appalled at their behavior and choices, now that they actually have a choice (since before it was life or death, and that's off the table)?

Now the Dragon, the devil, the demon, is no longer outside of ourselves, and we are faced with the dragon inside of ourselves. So this "we were happy when we had no money" just means that fear kept us ignorant. And ignorance is bliss. And in the end, and the beginning, we have the choice to stay stuck on the Dragons outside of ourselves, or we can slay that beast, and then turn our attention inward and start getting to know the Dragons within. And this is where the real war begins.

#mybiglife  #mybigdragon #dragonsarepeopletoo #hashtagmydragonbaby #loveyoubabe

Slaying the Dragon Part 1

As a little girl, I was always thrilled by the prince who would slay the dragon and saving the lives of innocents. (yes, innocents - plural. not innocence, even though that could work too).

Disasters strike. They have become our modern day Dragons. We all band together to "slay the evil thing that did such and such to us."

This morning I heard on the radio, from some government person responding to tornado related destruction "We will prevail over the tornados!" I burst out laughing. Really??? We will prevail over tornados? We can rise up from the destruction caused by tornados, but tornados, and other "natural disasters" will happen. Probably more than once.

Back to the dragons.

Dragons are all about root chakra - fear. The 4 biggies: survival, food, sex, sleep. Mostly survival. In the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, he talks about "Abhinivesha" or fear of death. It pretty much boils down to that.

So what is at the root of our survival issues? What governs our feelings around whether or not we will survive? Money. Money. Money. So money may very well be the "root" of all "evil" - root being the root cause of fear, and evil being the dragon we need to slay in order to feel safe.

So, how do we slay this dragon? Do we even want to actually slay the dragon? What happens if we do/don't? What if we want a dragon as a pet?

Stay tuned for more on modern day dragon slaying, and you may end up becoming your own knight (or day) in shining armor! (shining being the luminosity that knows no sorrow, often said to reside in the heart chakra, and armor being the will to live from that place)

Filled to the brim

I'm so full. Full of all of it. Today was so full the filling of the full 

started spilling after school 

and I missed seeing my amazing friends perform their righteous words. 

No words can I say 

to make it some other way

Than what it is

So I can trust that I was where I needed to be 

and let myself see

The perfection of whatever that was

And know that we are all connected

Even if we aren't in the same room.

A Whole lot of Distraction

To temporarily put an end to this distraction series, let's just say, just because i feel like saying it, that if we embrace these distractions as part of the Whole, we will become more Whole. Not because we are less than Whole, but because we have accepted more of the Whole, more of ourselves.

And who said distractions had to be negative? Ever hear of SOS - "shiny object syndrome?" I have it. Just ask my husband. Anything beautiful, sparkly, quirky, unique, interesting, etc... can catch my eye in a moment's notice, taking me off course. And sometimes those shiny objects may have been just the light I was looking for, whether it be inside or outside of myself. But the more light I see without, the more capacity I build for seeing it within. And vice versa.

So when it all boils down and is ready to serve on the table of your life - it's perfect. With or without distractions on the side. 

Distraction Extraction

(note: there will be references to the previous blog, so if you feel lost, distract yourself and check out yesterday's post)

So I now choose door number 2 - eliminate the distraction.

We try to get rid of that which distracts us in a number of ways. Whether we get up and turn off the radio, change our breathing, count to 10, leave the room, clean the house, the distraction really hasn't gone anywhere. After the radio, there will still be another noise. Our breath will change again. 10 only lasts for the count of 10. And the house will get dirty again. So we really never eliminate anything if you think about it. Even people. When someone leaves us, or even dies, don't you notice that there is another personality to come in and push all the right buttons?

So when we set out to eliminate the distractions, it seems to really work. But haven't we just distracted ourselves from the distractions? This is not a bad thing btw. It's  a good tool to have. It can help us get off a thought train, a hamster wheel.

It takes me back to door number 3 - if I can start loving, embracing, welcoming, accepting distractions as part of my reality, I may experience them in a different way. And instead of using distraction replacement therapy, I can start relationship counseling with my Self and my Distractions. 

Distractions

So there you are. Sitting. "Meditating." Start with a little breath work. Sit a little longer. And what happens? Are you more or less calm? What has stopping your momentum done for you but shine a light on that which occupies you? And that which was occupying you, is now called a Distraction.

How do we deal with distraction? Radio too loud? Turn it off. House too dirty? Clean it. Offensive smell? Leave the room. But what about those distractions that are more challenging to run away from? For example, I'm on an airplane with a crying child next to me (I can't turn it off), who is throwing Cheerios in my lap (I can clean it up, but it keeps on coming), and someone farts. I'm in a plane and can't leave. All of these things distracting me from something that I perceive as "more important."

Let's go back to meditating. I'm distracted by my thoughts, my laundry list. I'm distracted by my tight shoulders, my aching hip. I'm distracted by mu judgement of myself for being distracted instead of "one-pointed." What are my options?
1) i can remain in the pain of my distraction
2) i can try to eliminate my distractions
3) i can embrace my distractions
4) anything else you can think of

"I choose to explore door  number 3, Bob!" So what if, instead of trying to "fix" my distractions, I breathe into them, embrace them, even welcome them, as part of me and my experience. As part of my Wholeness. As part of The Wholeness. So I breathe in, acknowledging the distraction. I breathe out, hugging the distraction. At the very least, I'm changing my relationship to the distraction, which will change my experience of being distracted.

What if we start to welcome those pesky, squirrelly, niggley, wiggly aspects? Maybe by acknowledging them, they lighten up, or even move on? Maybe I learn something? Maybe I find a way to peacefully co-exist. Maybe nothing changes. But it will change, because we have changed how we respond, even if only for a moment. And that changes everything. Maybe enough to distract us from our distractions so we can move on and get more in the present moment.

Tomorrow - what happens if we try to eliminate the distractions...

what was I saying?  oh yeah...

;)

Sharing is caring

And I'm sharing. In this moment I am so full of it, I want to share all of it with you! So in the spirit of Let's Make a Deal, do you want some of what I'm full of? 

I'm giving you all the _____________ you want! It's up to you. Do you want it? Let me know and I'll tell you what's behind the curtain.

The bliss of ignorance

If we don't know what we are missing, we can blissfully live our painful lives.

Auto correct me

Wiping the tears from my eyes reading auto-correct texts. Then I got to thinking- the same bloopers come out of our mouths everyday. We start to tell the truth from the present moment, but halfway through, we blurt out something else.

Is there a place in our brain we can turn off auto-correct? Oh yeah, that would b yoga.

Quality vs Quantity

Quality vs quantity. Which is it? And why is it important that we know?

Regarding yoga practice, I've been told both. The quality of your practice counts for a great deal, but you must have 1,000,000 repetitions of your mantra. Or is the quantity assuming that 999,999 will be of a lesser quality, and it really only takes 1 to do the trick?

One great bite of food. Is that all it takes? Or what about 1,000,000 lesser bites? And if I have 1 amazing chocolate bar in my house, is that enough? What about when it's gone? Will it keep feeding me for the other 999,999 days? 

Maybe quality v quantity is an upscale issue. When we have quantity, then we move on to quality. Maybe until the root chakra is taken care of, meaning we have enough to survive, then we move on the second chakra- preference. Quality. 

Only when we feel we have enough, does the issue of quality come in. But if we haven't let go of fear, the memories or samskaras that were back in the days when we didn't have enough, we may never feel like we have enough.  And no matter the quality, we will still seek the quantity. It still won't be enough. 

So if we perceive ourselves as hungry, less than, not worthy, inadequate, unlucky, unlikely, then no matter the gifts we bestow or receive, it will never be enough. That one perfect repetition of mantra will not be enough, even though it was enough. 

Only when we know we are enough, will enough be enough. And that is quality and quantity.

Mo Jo

Mo Jo go when judgement comes

No Jo not mo Jo

Mo Jo back when judgement go

No mo no Jo 

Just mo Jo 

More fun

Again the question- can a person have too much fun?

No, because if you're having "too much fun," it's not fun anymore.

Rose colored glasses?

Success
Knowledge
Love
Wisdom
Judge
Perfect
Yoga
<insert appropriate word here>

These are just a few words that can mean just about anything depending on the lens through which they are viewed. These words go through our own personal lenses, and are received after going through another set of lenses.

So what are we really talking about and isn't verbal communication just like the children's game of "Telephone?"

When we start listening further, we begin to hear through the space. Which has it's own set of lenses.

So part of the point of Yoga, or whatever modality one chooses to raise consciousness, communication skills, self-awareness, your happiness quotient, or whatever, is just a way of cleaning these lenses so we can see/hear/understand/know/<insert appropriate word here> more clearly.

Wow factor

Wow. Wow! WOW! 

Mom upside down. That is its own wow. 

A pow wow is a gathering of wow that packs a punch.

So have a pow wow with your big S Self and see what happens. 

Knowing

Knowing by growing,

Growing into knowing.

So is knowledge, tall-edge?

Does knowledge give us a bigger edge? More to work with? A bigger picture? 

Word play

Was talking with a friend today at lunch about how things can build up into a pestering fuss. I thought it was way better than saying what I originally intended which was festering pus. Because really it's just a pestering fuss.

in the kitchen

The Art of Transformation started tonight. It's a hot one. A student posed an interesting idea, and I'm posing this question as a result of the discussion: Can you love yourself too much? What is the downside of loving yourself?

Feel free to weigh in on this. Could be interesting. I expressed my thoughts in class of course, but thought it might be cool to see what y'all have to say. And if nothing, that's fine too.

peace!

Are you ready?

We say we are ready for change. Ready to receive what we know is our "birthright." Ready to live our lives from our authentic Self. 

Seriously?

If that is true, then rock on! If you feel some struggle or conflict, no worries either. Perhaps your ability to receive is related to your ability to let go.

Just sayin...

Who knows

Stating the obvious. Who knows? Tonight I taught an amazing class on how changing your center of gravity (aka- changing your relationship to gravity) changes your physical experience in your body. 

So do I keep on this "out there" trajectory and trust that the studio owner is cool with the fact that 5 people were there, or do I change the content to hook more people? Am I Socrates or --------? And I don't have a name in mind btw. 

I see both sides of this coined equation. "Carry on my wayward son?"  Or "<your appropriate other song goes here>"

There is no right or wrong answer. I'm just interested in the discussion. I bought the ticket after all, so I'm the one who will ride this train/pony/other. And as i wrote in a song: "it takes 2 right people in every argument. Otherwise there would be no argument. At all."

Anyone want to weigh in?

what the fun?

What do you do when things you love no longer "do it" for you?
First - why? Have tastes changed? Has the specialness worn off? Is what was fun now work? Mundane?

How do we put the shine back on the rose? Start by mixing your metaphors. That works for me. Then stop taking it all so seriously and remember what was fun about it in the first place. Revisit the moment you fell in love with it. Go back to that time and forget all you know now, and approach with a child's mind where you don't care so much.

I find that when I get into Matter, things start to Matter. And as soon as things start to Matter, then I'm stuck in the physical plane and not in First Class. Back of the plane and they ran out of snacks.

So change your mind, find something that is fun in this very moment and do that without worrying about the consequences. Worrying about the consequences is just another aspect of Matter mattering.

Or do nothing.
Cuz it doesn't matter, and the sooner we remember that, the fresher we'll feel.

And like a previous post, we do love those fresh, new, things.

MInd is Willing?

The old saying "the Mind is willing but the Flesh is weak."
I beg to differ.

Did my arm on it's own accord force 5 cups of coffee down my throat? Did my body pin me to the couch and make me watch soap operas? Did my fingers glue themselves to my iPhone as I surfed for more apps?

I think not. My Flesh is an innocent bystander following the beck and call of my Mind. But my Mind is so masterful at smoke and mirrors that it thought up the old adage "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak" to get us to look the other way while it (the Mind) has been having it's way with my Flesh.

If my flesh is weak, i should get a gym membership. Then my mind has to actually get me to show up to the gym.

Mind exercise. Concentration - aka Dharana. Work it out. Your body will love you for it.

immediate history

Immediate history.
Is this history that is less far back in time than other history?
Is all history immediate since as soon as it's over "it's history."
We are all making history every moment.
Historically speaking, this has created a lot of thought constructs.
Can we make history from the present moment?
If we are living in the present moment, history doesn't rule the house of You. History can live in the House of History where we can forget it, remember it, repeat it, or not repeat it. Or, from present moment, we can choose to forget, remember, repeat or not repeat.

Immediate history. Could also be a one hit wonder.

And does time exist in the past? If not, then all history is immediate or not immediate, or perhaps even not at all, making all of our past crap that we keep connected to, not even there, except for in the steel trap of our minds. Which makes me wonder - are we even here? I think therefore I am? or I think therefore I was? or I think therefore I will be.

Or I think, therefore I want chocolate. Which I know will solve everything. Immediately. Historically speaking that is.

Confusion

Confusion is us doubting our Selves. Confusion can be really debilitating. When the fog or blanket of confusion sets in - stop what you are doing and breathe across your brain to clear your head. Breathe into your heart to soften the fear, breathe into your belly to stoke your fire of purpose, breathe into your root to get the lead out. Pick one.

Or something else.

Or do something less confusing to break the momentum. Because confusion can insipidly seep into areas of your being where you normally have clarity. It's just that sneaky.

fresh new look

We are always looking for that "fresh new look." Is it a lipstick or a nail color? is it a new yoga class or teacher? is it a new diet? a new car?

It doesn't matter. At least we are trying to get into the present moment.

I'm not saying that this can be done with a lipstick, but perhaps it can.I'm just saying... if you are seeking new lipstick colors and you find yourself buying the same color with different names, perhaps its not the color, but the act of trying to break free.

So yes. Wear your Sienna Brick instead of Burnt Peppercorn. Breathe in the fumes of the Now. And give yourself the moment to be different. 

Roly polys

Roly polys. Such fascinating bugs.

Miniature armadillos with an armored shell. And when life gets too hard or threatening, they turn themselves inward into a ball and just roll with it.
hmmmm.....

Pupperazzi

So today I'm out with my dog. Walking. From time to time i get those feelings of "what am i doing with my life?" and "I should be doing more." "I should have more people in my classes." "I should be playing to bigger audiences." "Why am I so 'normal?"

And then 2 different people ask to take Winston's photograph! Pupperazzi! And I get to be a stage mom! And it was awesome!

So my dreams of fame and fortune have not been realized in this lifetime, and for most of the time, i am totally at peace with that. Then I get a day where I'm super tired, etc... and I have a wave of (see paragraph #1). What I know, is that i'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, mopes and all, and that being a stage mom is totally awesome. And if you know my personality, many of you may be thinking "she has got to be lying..." But seriously, part of being a teacher is to have your "kids," your students, be more successful, more amazing, more than you. Because we evolve and share what we know. And evolution improves on it, and makes it more.

So here I am, with my famous little dog looking so cute because he just is, and my amazing students rocking the world of yoga and then some.

And life is pretty good from where I sit. And truth be told, I'm glad it wasn't my picture that they wanted. That would have been a tad creepy.

Been there

Been there. Done that. Pretty much sums it up.

So how many more times will it take?

Just askin...

Innocent or Guilty Pleasures

I have a body. I live in a body. I'm around a lot of bodies. I hear people talking about their bodies. I've talked about my body.

What is this "body?"

I realized the other day that the body is an innocent. It doesn't do anything wrong. In fact, all it does all day and night is keep going to lug our consciousness around. Just when I thought my consciousness was lugging my body around all day, it flipped on me. And so it goes.

These things we call "guilty pleasures." My body doesn't have a guilty pleasure. It's my mind that experiences guilt and pleasure. My body is innocent. All that it is, started with my decisions.

It is not my body's fault that it is older and that it might be wearing out. It is me who used it and wore it out. If it's toxic or fat,  it's not my body's fault - it didn't drink a fifth of Jack Daniels or eat a whole cake. Just like an appliance, a car, a house, we use our bodies. Our bodies are innocent. They did nothing wrong. All they do is try to help us, carry us, and they try to find balance (homeostasis) no matter what we do while we are living in it.

So, is my house clean? Does my car need a tune up? What do i need to do in order to live more comfortably in the house of My Body? For starters, get off my own back and stop judging that which loves and serves me unconditionally. If I can't see that my body does that for me, then I need to start there...  Start at home. Home is where the heart is. And your heart is in your body.

Anniversary

An annual versary. A yearly event. A benchmark. Something we remember every year on the same day or same general time frame (i.e. -thanksgiving is an annual event but not always on the same day).

Today I honor and value 19 years ago when I exchanged vows with my husband. Vows never written, just fully expressed from the moment of our hearts on Oct 1, 1994.

Honey, thank you for being perhaps the largest catalyst in my life to
1) get over myself
2) grow
3) see things from a different and hence bigger point of view
4) stop judging
5) stop controlling
6) stop cleaning
7) start allowing
8) see the innocence in others
9) get over myself

For this to occur, you rose to the occasion with these qualities:
1) stepping up
2) patience
3) gentleness
4) emotional support and generosity
5) physical support and generosity
6) stepping up

I didn't mention love, because I don't want to overlay ideas of romance and fairy tales. There has been romance, and our fairy tale is more of a fiery tale (perfectly typo-ed and corrected in the previous sentence), and it is the fire of transformation and commitment to that which is unending, ever-present, and larger than us that keeps it Us.

This is my public declaration of love to you. My love, my partner, my husband of 19 years.

I love you. In front of God, Bloggersphere, and everyone.
A vowel renewal.
aaaaaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiioooooooouuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you for being exactly you, no matter how many times I said just the opposite. Without you, I wouldn't be me, and I love who I Am. I love because of you. 

Too comfortable

Thanks Rhonda for your comment about being "too comfortable." Got me thinking...

How can we be "too comfortable?" If we are too comfortable, then perhaps we aren't really comfortable. Perhaps our attachment to our present comfort has taken us from sattva, that state of balance and ease, into tamas, a state of attachment and inertia. So perhaps when we get too comfortable, we get afraid that we have something to lose, and that is not a comfortable feeling.

So, the question is, are we really comfortable? and then see yesterday's post...

:-)

Comfortable

Are you comfortable? If not, have you done anything about it? If not, why?

Patterns

We love looking at patterns. Anything from tie-dye to the ocean waves to the petals on flowers. We buy ant farms so we can watch the patterns of movement. We listen for themes in music. We experience flavor profiles. We feel the nap of velvet. We smell winter, spring, summer, fall. And even though we may not enjoy or resonate with all these patterns that we are constantly processing, we continue to observe, digest, experience.

So why do we resist looking at our own patterns? Why do we take them so personally? Can we not look at a habit with the same dispassion that we look at a cornfield? Or smell rain?

Perhaps we can practice vairagya, "dispassion"/neutrality/not taking it personally as we view the patterns around us. Practice so that eventually we can look at our own with the same non-attachment.

A pattern is a pattern is a pattern....

the story of the middle finger

It's in the middle. It's the center. Sense the presence of the middle finger moving into the shoulder. When you feel the middle finger as the "spine" of the arm, and the shoulder as the pelvis of the arm, how does that affect how you raise your arms? Take weight on your arms? How do your shoulders respond? Can you feel the center as the right/left aspects surround the middle finger?

The middle finger - fire, naval center.

The middle finger - the "bird." Can we flip the bird from a place of center, which would mean without judging that which we are flipping off?

The middle finger. Is just part of the Whole Hand. 

Khumbaya

Come + Unity = community 

authentic alignment

I have written so many posts on alignment. You've heard me rant. You've heard me rave. What's left to tell? Well...

We talked about the spine in a few new ways today. And letting go of our attachment to pain. And to our attachment to having to work hard. And we embraced obstacles in Yoga Nidra. And ate amazing roasted veg enchiladas. And watched the Buddha breathe.

So what is left to tell? You have your own alignment. You can't find it in a book. You may be able to find books or teachers to help you unlock the mystery of your Self to yourself, but after that door is open, it's your playground. You are you playground. And you are the player. Player. Play-yuh.
Play, yeah...

The one thing that is new is how the idea of community became part of the theme. We must be reaching a state of stability and wholeness, or this idea would not be creeping in. I smile at this. Ariticulation/individuation first. Find the movement in the joint. Understand how much movement works for the joint. Then integrate that joint into the Whole. The joint knows how much force it can take, and how to best take it. When we all know ourselves, we fulfill what we are designed to do. Knee joints can be knee joints - not the smaller sibling of the bossy hip joint. Rib joints can be rib joint. Spine joints can be spine joints. And with the understanding of the individual, when faced with a force as powerful as gravity, we can cope with balance, grace, and efficiency so the wear and tear doesn't fall on one or two joints. So those one or two joints don't burn out. So they live the life they were destined to live. Not too short. Not too long. Just the right amount.

Authentic alignment. Possibly more tomorrow on this.

peace from the Redwoods!

Stillheart

First night at Stillheart. Great group. 3 birthdays. And the sound of the banana slugs. Seriously though, the sounds are amazing. We are already aligned with why we are here. Now we move into why we are really here. And that is where the fun begins.

Looking forward to an amazing retreat. Deep bows and gratitude to all who signed up and took the plunge with me. And some are still in the swimming pool.

Did I mention redwoods? Redwoods.
Rest-woods.

Tirtha

Bridges. We build them. We cross them. We enjoy them from afar.

Labor Day

I don't want to Be-labor the point, but it fits that our puritanical work ethic celebrates labor by giving a day off. And how convenient that it always falls on a weekend!

;)

Eyeballs

In the words of the Police (sting), "I'll be watching you" 

Hey, ya nevah know what is watching...

Login

Login.  It's a Lincoln thing. 

Blowin in the wind

Uniform

If all cars were the same size, things would be much more uniform. 

slow down and go fast

The irony of being in a hurry is that we often don't get it done in time. I find that if I relax, slow down, and trust, somehow it all gets done. I can't really describe it at this point, but so much can happen in the space part of time. For example, I can go to bed feeling completely behind and underwater, and when I get up the next day, do my practices, and then go to "work," it's as if everything yet nothing has changed. And for some reason, the workload just feels different. Different enough that I might even think, "wow, I think I might be just about caught up."

interesting. 

Clarity

Here's the thing. No matter how clear we think we are, or how clear we think we are being, it doesn't necessarily impact what happens in the external world. If we are working a piece of material, our teacher, aka our Self, aka the external world, may still respond in a way that makes no sense. This is so we have an opportunity to really learn and absorb what it is we are working on. So when the external world responds in a way that makes no sense, stay true. Was what I said and did in complete truth and integrity? Did I have a hidden agenda that was uncovered? Can I remember not to take it personally and act from a place of sanity? From a place of non-judgement? From a place where I'm not expecting them to change, and I'm ok with the outcome because I trust the bigger picture, and know that if I really learn the lesson, it is worth whatever it is I think I have to lose?

And a box of cartoon bandaids can be a fun way to give the wounds to the ego space to heal.

Poppa funk

Art Neville. The Funky Meters. Kept me engaged and awake 2hrs past my bedtime. It's magic, the moment. 

Changing the game

If we've done it all before, and you know what I'm talking about, and we keep on doing it, why is it so hard? Do we think it's hard out of habit? And if its hard and we keep doing it, is it because we like it, or is having "hard times" a habit? And if we've done it before, and we say we don't like it, why do we keep on keepin on if we don't like it? Or do we really like it at some level? Or are we simply out of ideas on what to do next?

Butch and Sundance

Live every day as if it were the last day of Burning Man.

Those times when we say "my whole life has been leading up to this moment, right here, right now." Yes. That would be true. For every moment. This, every moment is a potential moment of awakening. Kundalini is ever present. We just need to be aware and receptive to what is already there.

Dry out

When life gets soggy, dry out. And when your basement floods, get a shop vac. 

The thing about the hot water heater breaking in the middle of the night, is that all of a sudden you have to move your shit. And the degree to which we face it can vary. How big is the lens I choose to look through? How much am I willing to clean up, look at, deal with. And then how accepting can I be if I choose to let it be?

Wwjls?

What would John Lennon say? And how much shit did he have? And could he pay people to look at it for him? 

Or maybe he really was cool with it all. Hmmmm...

Refreshing

There is nothing like a shower to wash off the day. Then when I go to bed, I don't carry the unresolved particulate with me. Each particle holds a charge, and I prefer to set myself up for neutrality, equanimity. Baths work too, but in a different way. 

Right or left to life

We all have our right to life. Whatever that means.

I think life is a choice. We chose our parents. Our circumstances. We gave ourselves the set up so we could most easily, yes, easily, evolve into our next self. 

Thinking about life from this pov helps me see a bigger picture. Is the life I'm living worth living? If not, what am I going to do about it?

Even to ask ourselves, "what is a life worth living," can open a new way of perceiving that can help us find/love/be/live who we know, from the bottom of our cells, who we are meant to be.

In it

Yep. We are in it. In all of it. We can't help it because we ARE all of it. Which is why the practice of loving yourself unconditionally is so profound and far reaching.

Water

Once again, I ask myself, would my life be better if I drank more water? And today, the answer is yes. 

There is something so simple and profound about drinking water. You know what I mean. So why don't we do it?

Maybe water isn't glamorous enough. It's way sexier to drink a latte, a chai, a coconut water, juice, wine, whatever. But water gets the job done in a special way. 

Time

There's always enough to get done exactly what we get done.

Apparently not

(This won't have context unless you read yesterday's post.)

Apparently not. And that's ok Btw.

I was doing something else. 

:-)

Diplomas

The world is getting smarter. There was a time when i thought I was a cutting edge maverick. And now people are writing books that contain "My ideas." That's great. Someone else did the big work and the ideas are out there. And then I think, was that supposed to be me? 

Apparently not. 

Best birthday

Im not one to talk about my daily life in this blog, but today, its different. Best birthday ever from hubby John Mazzei. There have been other best birthday Evers, but today, he really raised the bar.

I was scrubbed, wrapped, bathed, massaged, and I have "hunk of burning love" on my toes. Followed by a dinner surprise party with family and friends 

1-6: spa day

7-10: dinner

So yes, pretty amazing to be on the receiving end of a party. Raise a glass, raise the roof, raise the bar. Raise, call, fold. It's all good. And thank you. Thanks. Thank you.

Bubbly

Bubbly. What's in a bubble? Space. 

Champagne. What's in a bubble? Good space - sukha, or bad space- dukha?

It could be as simple as a brand name or price point. Or it could be the space a person is in while drinking the bubbles. Or it could be something else.

But I like bubbly. I like space. Space. I'd say "the final frontier" but that can sound a bit final and possibly depressing. Instead, toast the space that we are, that we share, and happy birthday. Thanks mom and dad! 

Letting go

This may come off as a bit preachy, but it's late, and I'm human, so as you read, remember I'm not holier than thou. I'm just thou.

Letting go can be hard. But it is so worth it. Most of the stuff we hang on to, we don't even want, but it is so familiar, it's like letting go of a family member. 

The good news- it can be done. Even if you don't know how. Just ask, meditate, pray, whatever your MO is. "Please take this away" or "please take away my need to hang in to this." See your life, or at least a moment of it- what your life would be like without it. Focus on that while you pray/meditate/ask. Then distract yourself from the pain of change. See what happens.

Plateaus

One thing you can say about plateaus- if you're on one, you can take time and enjoy the view.

Say what?

Say what you mean? Mean what you say? For reals?

Easier said than done. That's kind of wack since in this case saying is doing.

Why don't we say what we mean? Probably because we often times don't even have a clue as to what we want to say. We just know we want to say or express something and instead of waiting, we blurt out whatever to whomever, whenever, in whatever format happens to be available: text, blog, facebook, email, voicemail, middle finger hand gesture.

I dont believe on sitting on unspoken words or stuffing feelings and all that. But I do believe in responding instead of reacting. So perhaps allow a "cooling off" period before we start slinging the blame, pointing the finger (middle or otherwise).

On the other hand, when it comes to saying Yes to things that speak to our heart, or complimenting someone, or appreciating something, we can get a bit stingy. That's when we "exercise discernment" and say things like "let me get back to you on that." Believe me, I get it.

One thing that I've been practicing for quite some time now, is saying yes to those things I know I really want to do. For example, if I know I want to go to a workshop, I sign up and pay my money. Even if it's months in advance. Yes, things may come up, but since I've been doing this practice, they really don't because I've made the space in my life for it to happen, and the Universe schedules the rest accordingly. It feels good to say yes to that type of thing.

And I pay attention when I feel like I want to be stingy with my praise or positive comments. Why would I hold back? Am I afraid that the person will be better than me or have more power over me? Ridiculous! When has complimenting someone ever hurt me? And how did that nasty rumor get out in the first place?

So say what you mean. Mean what you say. Tell the truth, but remember, in order to tell the truth, you need to find the truth, which may not be the "truth" in the moment of reaction, fear, or pain when our "survival" is at stake. It may take some time to find the words to express what we really want to say, but I know from experience, it is well worth it.

Baseball

If you or someone on your team catches your own fly ball- are you out?

And what is so great about being in?

Kidz

Kids. 

Billy the kid.

Kid gloves.

Are u kidding?

And then--- 

Children. 

Nothing like subbing a kids yoga class to keep it real. My high points-

There is such a thing as a jumping tree

Blankets are amazing props. Tell a kid it's dirt. Pretend you are rain and sun. Watch it grow. And sometimes you get dolphins.

And then the power of chanting. Putting them back under their blankets. Chanting. Then leading a savasana.

I am strong.

I am truthful.

I am kind.

I can do anything.

Rinse and repeat.

Step by

Step. Are my decisions based on present moment or past attachments? When to let go? When to move on? When to step? Every moment is a step. Are we stepping to the beat of our own drummer, our own heart, or the beat of someone else's? Which is louder? Clearer? 

Guru Purnima

Today is the day we honor our teachers. Yes, we are all teachers, and we have all been taught. So yes, we honor everyone. Including ourselves.

So why is this day different from any other day?

Because we want it to be. Because sometimes a little ceremony moves us out of our everyday thought pattern, and perhaps gives us a moment to pause, reflect, change the momentum of our life.

So, my teachers. Of course my family. And teacherly teachers of different but same: Dennis, Bonnie, Panditji, Swamiji, Rod, Bert, Hannah, Susan.

And my friends and sangha who helped me stay true to the light inside when all seemed dark and done.

And to those who can still push my buttons. You help me see what is crawling underneath all those rocks of goodness, illusion, attachment.

and to those I don't even remember. who planted a seed that either grew or burned. You are all part of my garden. And without All, this flame of consciousness would not be aware of itself.

Deep bows and gratitude.

Much ado

About nothing.

Willy  the Shake sure got that right. All that energy spent trying to look busy. That is just us trying to hide our light.

When you move at the speed of light, things get done faster. Les stop punishing ourselves for that.

Squash buckled

yatha brahmande, tatha pindande

That means as above, so below/macro-micro/what you see around you is what's inside you. 

What does that have to do with squash? Apparently everything. 

We bought two yellow squash plants for our garden this year. Last year, no luck with squash of any kind. This year, it's like an alien invasion of the squash people. These two plants started surprising us by popping out not only yellow summer squash, but also dark green zucchini. Yummy! But wait- there's more! Now we are getting something that looks like a weird zucchini, but has a tough shell type skin, and tastes like a cross between a butternut and a crookneck. 3 kinds of squash. 2 plants. My squash is multitasking. Just like we all do. 

Got me thinking about frogs being born with many legs. How many times have we wished we had more arms or legs, could clone ourselves, be more than one person? Well, it seems like the frogs are picking up on it. 

So as above so below. Once again, internal and external are reflected in each other. Once again, we see ourselves in the world around us.

Are we co-creating? Or who/what is running the show?

Triangles

Triads. Things in 3s. 

Clearing space

If there is stuff in your space, do you really have space? Or is it just stuff?

Homework

Drink more water.

Stop judging.

That's the nutshell version.

Mt Shasta

Land that I love. No hiking this time, but I can still drink the magic and beauty. 

pudding

Well, I haven't made vanilla pudding and put it in a mayo jar yet. but you know I will be doing that in this lifetime. In fact, I might just eat the mayo! even weirder/grosser. who knows?

i am so blessed that i have amazing teachers and in the time frame of one month, have had the honor of hosting both. I hope that you all have the opportunity to love so much.

My mom was sad when it became evident that i wasn't on the having babies track. She expressed how much she wanted me to have the experience of loving so unconditionally. I can't compare having a baby to having a teacher, but I can say that i know what it feels like to love unconditionally. And for all you parents out there, I'm not comparing or trying to steal your thunder. Having children is an animal, or beast, or path that for whatever reason was not mine to have this go round. And yes, there was a moment where i made a choice. And I continue. With passion. With commitment. Knowing that i, too, love unconditionally, even though I didn't go through 9 months of growing a human inside of me, nor did I go through X number of hours of labor. And then all that follows. But I know when to follow my heart, my soul, telling me what is "right" for me. Telling me, "just do it, don't judge it." And those gifts and moments are priceless.

So lets go eat our vanilla pudding or mayo or whatever else it is that we do. Shock whoever we want, but live in the integrity of our Selves. And remember that unconditional love starts at home. Can we look at ourselves with the same acceptance as we would a newborn? When we say "yes!" then we are in the land of unconditional love.

Welcome. and bring on the pudding. Vanilla, choc, butterscotch, coconut cream... all good with me. with or without  mayonnaise jar.

Start at the beginning

Full hearts

A very good weekend indeed. Big thanks to Dennis Adams for coming to the Bay Area. Many were touched, inspired, healed. 

Independence Day

Was yesterday. And today. And every day. Yep. Choose freedom. Choose Self. 

Cups

Cup half full or cup half empty. We see things the way we decide to see them. We hear things the way we decide to hear them.

Period.

Spin it the way you like.

Freedom

Some days ya just gotta ride, Sally. Ride.

Just say no

Or not.

When we think about being disciplined, we think about being able to say no to stuff. And that's about right. Why not say yes to the new behaviors instead of no to the old? Because its easier to not do what is familiar as opposed to doing something not as familiar.

So there's a positive spin on the negative"no."

Negative has positives. And vice versa. 

Another feast for the beast

It can be hard to let go of projects when you love all that you do. I guess gluttony isn't limited to the table. 

New

Do's and don'ts

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we do because we can. Sometimes we don't. Because we can. Sometimes we do because , as redundant as it sounds, we want to, have to, must do. And sometimes we don't because we can't, won't. 

And sometimes by not doing, that is by "don't-ing" we do the most. And of course the opposite is also true. 

We do. Oh dee do dah day.

Heads will roll

And then they did. 

Target

I went to target tonight. It's a very big store. And at night, it's very big and empty. You could get lost in there, and maybe some do. It brings new meaning to the term target practice. Even getting there. I circled, driving through 3 huge parking lots, all separated just enough by poles too close together to drive through, before I hit the target on the correct parking structure. 

Yes, target practice. But there were a lot of cool things in there. It's been awhile since I've been shopping, and I kind of dorked out. Impulse buy was a set of 80s glam colored sharpies. 

So what is the point of this blog? With practice, we get closer to our intended target. And if we give ourselves permission, we can get some cools pens along the way.

Cartoons

So, how do I see the world? Yes, sometimes I see cartoons, smiley faced, and all that cool dorky shit that makes me chuckle with the delight of a child. It at least the delight of my child- the child in me. Here are some beach cartoons I shot while in Monterey. Cartoon girl is back! 

Sri

Resplendent. Yes it is. 

And there are levels that we just aren't talking about. Some of them, because the are not immediately relevant. Others, because we just don't want to go there. And others, because we just can't. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Or a good one. Just a Sri One.

Long day's journey into night

Longest day of the year. Make it a good one!

Can I hear you say "Om!"

Today I was back teaching in my Ageless Yoga class, and he said that one of the subs was just like having me, only without the homilies! (He also mentioned he really likes the homilies.) So today in class it was pretty funny. I don't know what I was talking about - some esoteric idea about having lots of energy and how if you don't use it, it needs to express itself, so often it ends up in tension in the shoulders, arms, feet, etc... So there I am with the old homily again and in the middle it I shout "Can I hear you say OM!" We all had a great laugh.

I love my job. And the homilies. 

Transitions

Last class at planet granite today. It was like saying goodbye to an old friend. Yes, we'll call, but it won't be the same. 

Part of the practice is to be ready to move to the next thing. To know when the inhale is complete and it's time to exhale- not in mid-breath, but to allow the transition to happen without choking, gasping, or holding the breath. Because one thing is for sure, as long as we are alive in a physical body, we keep breathing, and as we breath, we embrace the ebb and flow, the in and out. We embrace those pairs of opposites that Patanjali talks about in the yoga sutras. We embrace duality. 

Embracing duality without becoming attached. That makes for seamless transitions. Joy. 

Mother sea

Moody beauty mother sea

Comes to kiss me

Will you miss me?

Mother sea's got no beef with me

Washing my feet in her house

In her mouth

How do I wash the feet of the mother?

Muscle

Mussel down!

Bird walk

If you run backwards, it must feel like what a bird feels when it walks forward. Try it. I did. :)

Feeding time

Everything feeds off each other. Gulls, mussels, sand floats, barnacle, crabs, fleas kelp. All feeding off each ior her.

People may not eat people, but were the luckiest people who feed off of each others ideas. Food for thought.

It's a food frenzy. A food fight. 

I'm full now.

Humanity

Warning: humans at play. 

Humanity. We are all in this together. Do we admire each other's humanity, or do we use it as evidence to compare ourselves- to make one greater or less than? Do we admire and respect "humanity" because we have empathy/relate/are inspired, or do we admire it  because we need to feel better about ourselves and witnessing the "human-ness" of someone else makes us feel better about our own "humanity?" And if that is the case, isn't "humanity" just another word for "less than?" Or are we really at that place where we can delight in the ugly and the beautiful with equanimity?

Spa Day

Taking a spa day can look like many things. No matter what shape "spa" takes, we are looking for something relaxing, rejuvenating, battery re-charging, prana building. Something that we go in feeling one way and leave feeling better. From this point of view, there are so many "spa" moments in our day. 

Maybe we should have a contest to see who "went to the spa" the most in a given day. And for some, that little competitive edge, will feel spa-like.

And "spa" is "aps" backwards. And for some, playing with aps is like a spa-day. 

for me, i even like taking a vacation in my own mind. but hey, taking an actual vacation works too. 

Holding keys

We all hold keys. And sometimes someone gives you theirs to hold, and maybe open a few doors. And then we keep the keys, or give them back.

Keys are only useful if they open the doors you need/want opened. otherwise they weigh down your purse or take up space in your junk drawer.

As teachers, we inspire others to find keys to open their unique doors. 

And I just mailed my mom's keys back to her, so she can open doors in phoenix. Since she lives there, and I don't. 

Moving

Whew! Moving. Brings up attachments. First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. And when a family pitches in to move one person, there are many "right" ways to accomplish the same task. 

So, on the mat, off the mat. Is taking a yoga class so much different? Many bodies, many teachers. Plus the questions: First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. 

Stress happened when we get attached to any of those questions, or to the outcomes/results/answers to those questions. 

So here we are, on the mat of life. Moving.

Fine lines

Oh those fine lines. The lines that come with age. And they are not limited to the ones we find around our eyes.

Many things happen as we age aka evolve. One thing is that we become more sensitive. Sensitive to how "things work." Sensitive to our preferences, to our likes and dislikes. This can be great. We don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. This is a timesaver, but we need to be aware that it also  takes us out of the present moment, since we are basing our choices and behaviors on a the past. Essentially, the efficiency that comes from the practice of living, is strengthening our samskaras, no matter if they are "good" or "bad."  

I'm not saying we should throw efficiency or the fruits of our practice out the window. I am suggesting that we stay aware of our tendencies, and notice when those tendencies start to crystallize and become attachments. It's a balance. A fine line. We watch them. We moisturize (detach). We release the fruits of our actions. We act, and release our attachment to the action and to the result, whether it be desired or otherwise.  And create another fine line.

Back to back

Guess I wasn't back. And now I'm having a back attack. Not my aching back, cuz it's not aching. And maybe I am and maybe I'm not, but as I'm riding in the car, taking in the 101south, I feel a heaviness in my head lifting and making way for something else. Will that something else be bloggable? Singable? Paintable? Edible?I won't know until I know. But I know that I know life keeps on and as long as we keep living, we are Life and Life is. Created by us, for us, performed by us. Ms Lila. You sweet and terrifying biatch of fullness. Bring it! Overwhelm me. Underwhelm me. It's all perfect. And so are we.

Another Rumi

What is the balance between disciple and surrender?

Embracing New

When to hold, when to fold. It all comes down to that when you come to think of it. 

waves

This past week I have felt waves. Not only waves in my hair, or radio waves, but physical waves in my body, waves in my mind.

and the big one that knocked me off my surfboard of life - a wave of grief.

That wave taught me a lot. I'd never felt a wave like that before. It seemed to come out of nowhere, but I no that it was spurred by my sister's birthday last week and the 1 year anniversary of her death in a couple of days. What I learned, is that grief is like forgiveness, or pratyahara (sense withdrawal - a yoga thing). We can't practice forgiveness. We have either truly forgiven or we haven't. We can't practice sense withdrawal, we are either in it or we aren't. All we can do is set up the conditions for these things to happen.

For me, grief now falls into this category. I gave myself space to grieve last year, but it wasn't until the last couple of weeks that the actual grief came forth. And I understand how it can be debilitating. I'm so grateful to be where I am in my life. So grateful to be alive. So grateful to have experienced its power, and so grateful to have both internal (my spiritual and yoga practice) and external (friends, etc...) support systems so I don't have to do it all alone.

One of the beauties of tragedy is that is provides an arena for community.

So thank you. Thank you. thank you.

Thank you community, inside and out. I am grateful for life. I am grateful for all of it.