43. Out of gas?

Not another car analogy?!?! Ok.
And my car did not run out of gas. I, however, am a different story.

This is what comes of feeling like you are in control of the physical Universe from the little "s" self. The self that thinks matter matters. The self that fears we haven't done enough. The self that thinks "if I can just get ----  done, everything will be fine." The self that stays up too late and doesn't listen to her body or the voice inside that says "just go to bed" or "you don't have to do all that."

I'm not saying to sit around and do nothing - unless you want to. I'm saying that continuing to force the issue(s) isn't the path that comes from inspiration. It's the path that comes from fear. Remembering that when I take care of my Self, love my Self and self, and listen to my Self, the inspiration to "get things done" comes eventually, and that's when I do 3 days of "work" in a couple of hours. Effortlessly. Magically. I actually enjoy it.

The thing I need to watch is, when I've come off a 3 days in 3 hours experience, that the experience is over and it's time to get back into the present moment, not relish in my so-called "productivity" streak. It's when I keep on keepin on at that pace without balance that bites me in the arse. Or bites me in the blood sugar, or fatigue, or whatever. After riding the big white horse, it's time to come down, remember that it's not me "doing" anyway, stop taking credit for myself, and stop blaming others for their slowness. It's time to slow down enough so I can see where I really am in this very moment, being open to the next wave of inspiration, whatever it is, wherever it may take me.

Oh to live fearlessly. Fearless joy.
Joyfully fearless. Fearlessly joyful.
Amen to that.

Let's gas up that car and take a load off (my mind) and relish in the fact that life happens and that what we see is only a small piece of the Big Life that exists around, among, in, and through each of us in every single moment.

And don't forget the snacks.

42. Potholes, The Final Chapter

5 days and five hundred dollars later and a cry out to the San Fran road maintenance crews and what do i see as I'm driving down pothole lane? They are filling the mother of all potholes.

So yes, there is a God.  Either that, or someone out there is reading this blog.

Thank you.

41. Alignment

Back to the potholes. One of the things one considers when one hits the mother of all potholes, once the tire is replaced, how's the alignment?

Alignment. Something that can be so way off that it's obvious - we are pulled to the right or pulled towards the left - politics being a great macrocosm example of this, or the misalignment can be subtle. So subtle that it takes driving on your tire for thousands of miles in order for the wear pattern to present itself. Again like life. These subtle misalignments in our lives are seemingly non-issues, until one day, when we start to notice that something is "off,"  ie - my back is out, my knee hurts, I have a headache, every time I talk with so-and-so i feel like dog doo doo afterwards, etc...  Sometimes we even miss the these seemingly obvious little clues, that may seem grotesquely obvious to our friends and family, and it takes getting hit over the head, or hitting the mother of all potholes, to wake the Eff up! This can look like your spouse filing for divorce, you've lost your job, you have disc degeneration, or manifestations even larger than that. I'm sure you can think of one on your own.

But the cool thing is that if your alignment is solid, hitting that pothole may just result in hitting the pothole - a blown tire. In the grand scheme of things, not that big of a deal. This is tantamount to have one of the pothole moments, and not laying a whole dramatic trip on the situation. In life, this might play itself out as "so and so criticized me for not doing the dishes." That pothole may sting, but no big deal. Or we can go down this road: "I know he is judging me which is so like the way my dad used to treat me when I was little and it makes me feel like I'm 5 years old and I'm embarrassed and ashamed for not knowing better, no wait, for messing up AGAIN like I always do, you see, i told you I'm a worthless piece of shit and don't deserve love so you might as well divorce me and to protect myself i'm not going to talk with you for 5 days, or maybe even go off and have a tantrum bringing up all of your faults that I judge you for because you made me feel bad about myself so I'm going to make sure you are miserable too and forget having sex for the next month and in fact we need marriage counseling because you just don't understand me at all or give me a break for not fulfilling your outrageous expectations!"

Misalignment.

Now at the beginning of this tirade, notice that what our protaganist  heard was "so and so criticized me for not doing the dishes," when in fact so and so might have simply said, "we're out of clean spoons."

The good news is, when aligned, you hear "we're out of clean plates." So the pothole then becomes a mere tire job. Change the tire, and we're good to go.

Alignment. Not a problem. It was perfect and was a good checkup because the other 3 tires were almost bald.

And I have plenty of spoons right now.

Perfect.

40. The Magic Number

40 days. A blood cycle. If you can hold a state of consciousness for 40 days, you can change the charge in your blood, and since your blood reaches just about every cell in your body, you can re-program yourself in 40 days.

40 hours. Just shy of 2 days.

40 minutes. About the time of a made for TV movie.

40 seconds. Your muscles start to let go when stretching.

40 pages.

40 wrinkles.

40 cents. Used to be the price of a school lunch.

40 dollars. Not even a tank of gas.

39. Seeds

as the temple of me gets taken apart and put back together, there are some adjustments. Sometimes pain. Sometimes freedom. Sometimes blankness.

Gardens taken to the ground. Burn the weeds. Burn the seeds.

And it's Easter. Perfect for starting over. Perfect for starting. Perfect for transformation. Perfect.

38. Dont know the words

 "Just another song where I don't know the words
Just another song but I keep on singing
It's got a great tune, and it's got to be heard
just another song and I keep on singing

buh ba ba da dum, buh ba ba da bum bop beedle dee
deedle dee dum and bada bop bum
hummity hum and i keep on singing"

PS - looking forward to singing tonight

PPSS - and the pothole sends it's love

PPPSSS - and it says to pay attention and to be aware of the obvious.

37. Just another pothole

Life has it's potholes. Sometimes they are pretty insignificant and it doesn't matter whether you hit drive through it or go around. Sometimes they are significant enough to wish you hadn't gone through it. And sometimes you meet the mother of all potholes with her big pot belly right in the middle of the road, the same road you drive every day, and somehow you never noticed it, or if you did, it's significance didn't register in the "what to avoid" section of the brain, and you are plowing down the road, kind of wishing you were at home so you could finish the song inspiration that just flew in 10 minutes before you had to get in the car and you hit that mother of a pothole head on at 35 unapologetic miles per hour and just as you feel the impact, you know that your tire is doomed. And even though your car has "run flat" tires (you can drive slowly on them when flat), the tire is SO flat that you don't really believe that driving on the tire is a good thing.

Let's dissect this little acne-dote (yes, i'm mixing metaphors here - pimples and potholes, mere blips - one on the surface of your skin, the other on the surface of Mother Earth's skin).

Why this pothole now? Why hadn't you seen it before, or if you did, why did you not pay attention to it, or at least give it a thought such as "boy, I sure want to avoid that mother of a pothole." It's life. Most of the time, and I'll bet all of the time, the clues are right in front of our nose, but somehow we don't see them. We don't even acknowledge the possibility of their existence. And eventually, that part of us inside that needs us to see that pothole, will guide your car right smack dab in the middle of it. Makes quite an impression. Yes indeedy.

The interesting thing here, is how did I manage to miss that pothole every other day? I mean, it was big! HUGE! Wildlife could live there -- ok, maybe a few frogs.  What road had I been driving, or gliding over, so that I never even thought that such a hole existed? So the pothole steps up and shakes me, literally, out of my trajectory. The road that is everyday traveled turns mystically into the road never before traveled.

Regardless of how I could be so oblivious, it's just a pothole. And now I'm awake instead of sleeping at the wheel.

Thanks Mom (mother of potholes)

36. Riding the wave of beauty and bliss

Yes, I do love that feeling. Driving home tonight after teaching, I was having one of those amazing moments of being smackdab in the beauty of life on earth. I wasn't necessarily aware of how sweet it was until I felt moved to turn on the radio and find the jazz station - which hasn't been working for me lately. I found myself driving in the misty rain, and I could feel the sweetness of the sax's notes fall evenly over my being - similar to the rain falling around my car.  It was like I was hearing music for the first time - it was fresh and alive and I felt a sweet calmness to the core of my being.

so i'm inviting you, just as I invited the class this evening, to find those moments where you love being in your body, being on earth and acknowledge them. We have a tendency to take these moments for granted, which makes total sense, since in those moments we are experiencing what is truly the "ordinary." Those moments are closer to our essence than the ones where we are a slave to our physical bodily aches and emotional pains and mental madness. But since we have programmed ourselves to see life bass-ackward, we may need to acknowledge what we now perceive as "special" moments, too few and far between, of bliss, of One-ness, of contentment, joy, peace. When we get enough practice in putting our attention to the this aspect of our essential nature,  our "real" reality, we will start to experience life as it really is - waves of beauty and bliss, and less time feeling the weight of all that Matters.

And it's a yummy, natural, attainable place to hang out.

Let's party.

35. One more thing

One more thing. Squeeze in one more thing. No matter how many "one more things" there will always be another. And tonight, this is one more thing.

34. Who do we do it for?

Would you put your seat belt on for me?

Another question I was asked in the air. At least it wasn’t “snacks for purchase?”  And I said yes. Not to the snacks. Why would I say yes to someone asking me to put a seat belt on for her? A nice woman I’m sure (or I hope she is), but I didn’t even know her name and there I am putting on a seat belt, not for my own safety, but for the comfort of a complete stranger.

Now I understand that it was a spoon full of sugar to help the medicine of “put your seatbelt on you who were obviously not listening when I made the announcement the first time miss aisle in row 22 who came to the back after you were asked about the snacks, but bought one when there was only a little over an hour to go on a 6 1/2 hr flight,” so yes, I can see why she worded it that way, but surely there must be some other way to ask me to put on my seatbelt than doing it for her. Or maybe I can chalk it up to Seva, selfless service.

It wasn’t selfless service. I was just being the good girl and following orders. I did not fear for my safety, and had truly forgotten my seat belt was off. What did I want to hear? I don’t know. But it gave me pause.

When did this start? When we were in our high chairs and mommy would ask us to try the strained peas “do it for mommy please.”  And at some level, our decisions are based on that. So it’s up to us to recognize that words are powerful, and make deep impressions, but they are also meaningless.  It wasn’t about the peas pleasing my mommy, it was probably just getting me fed so she could get on with the rest of her day. And the flight attendant was just doing her job.

And blogging about it was my job.

So, if you are reading this to please me, well you are. But unless you are first and foremost pleasing yourself, please stop. For me?

33. The Kleshas and "Well, They're Not the Alps"

45 minutes from SF, a 6 hour flight. I’ll be teaching soon. Less than 2 hours me thinks, and the woman sitting next to the window from Newark says “Well, they’re not the Alps/” Of course they’re not the Alps! The Alps are the Alps and uniquely so! Just like the Himalayas are the Himalayas, the Cordiera Blanca is not the Cordiera Negra.  And McDonalds isn’t Carl’s Junior, a Hershey Bar isn’t Nestle which isn’t See’s, which isn’t Godiva. I am not my sister, my mother, my next door neighbor. I’m only myself.

On a subtle, or not so subtle level, do we intrinsically want, expect things to be alike? To look like what we are familiar with? To act the way we want them to act? And if they did, what would that look like? Definitely not like MY picture, or my sister’s or my mother’s or my next door neighbor’s.

This is one of the kleshas in action on a subtle, benign level. The kleshas are translated as afflictions and Patanjali, the dude that wrote the revered Yoga Sutras, names 5 of them. The one I’m talking about today would be asmita, our identity, moving into Raga, pride and getting to Dwesha, distain. The Alps comment fits in there somewhere. Part of her identity was clearly invested in having seen the Alps up close and personal. Another part was proud that she knew of the Alps for having felt the need to compare them to the Rockies and state it out loud. The tone in her voice sounded disappointed with a hint of distain for these “lesser” peaks.

Why not just enjoy the Rockies as the Rockies? Apparently she had never seen them before, so why the need to compare to what she already knew? That way she could enjoy both and perceive both as uniquely different energies, experiences. The Rockies probably didn’t take her comment personally, but I know that I have when an authority figure (meaning one who I gave authority to and their opinion mattered more than my own) when I would be compared to so and so for such and such.

I’m not saying don’t compare. I’m saying, when we start to remove these kleshas, afflictions, which filter, veil, alter the “purity” of an experience, we will have more fun because we will enjoy more things and the fullness of what those things have to offer. I will know the fullness and qualities that Hershey has to offer, the Nestle has to offer, that Godiva has to offer, and when I make a choice to have one, all, or none, I can base my selection on what would best serve me in the moment, and even if I picked Hershey over Godiva, I wouldn’t think of myself as picking something of a “lesser” quality.

32. Down with Plan B!

Plan B. If there is a Plan B, then at some point, we don't want or believe in Plan A enough. This happened to me today.
I was at the Scranton-Wilkes Barre Airport, and out flight was delayed. Apparently, the pilot missed the runway and was diverted to Allentown (1 hour away). I had a hefty layover before my connecting flight from Chicago, and it looked like if the plane came back, I would still make my connection and get home by   a little before midnight tonight. I was listening to a LOT of negativity around me, and the line at the counter kept getting longer and longer. I was on the floor, plugged into an outlet entering notes into my computer, so it was a convenient place to evesdrop.

Great news! the plane was going to refuel and make it back. We could feasibly get off the ground by 6:30 (original time was 5), get to Chi-town by 7:30, and I could easily make my 8:55 connection. I was feeling great, feeling the zone. I kept checking myself in order not to give energy (no judgements!) to the dramas that were happening around me. I heard people making plans and backup plans.

When that was all done, I went to the counter to see what my options for getting to SFO were "just in case." She gave me options, and I realized I could have driven to Philly or Newark to catch another flight, but it was too late for that. Soooooooooooo... "Just in case" there was a 6:25am flight from Newark available, but I would have to rent a car and get myself the 2.5 hours east. She put a couple of options in my record, and I sort of joked,"I don't think I should make the backup plan, cuz I have a good feeling about getting on the plane tonight (in spite of everyone/everything else). She smiled and said she had a good feeling too. But the backup plan was entered in my record. Within 5 minutes, the plane (which was early!) had missed the runway again and was again diverted back to Allentown! Seriously!?!? Seriously. It was as if it all shifted when Plan B went into play.

so now, no one was going to make their connections, and other plans started flying, the line got long again, and my option to drive to Newark and get on a plane tonight had closed. I got weirdly calm after trying to find a decent rent a car, etc... I just didn't want to have to drive to Newark. Lo and behold, there was another flight, also delayed, that could get me to Newark that night. At least I wouldn't have to drive. They had told us to go downstairs where there would be 4 lines at the ticket counter to help with re-booking. I hung around upstairs, cuz I was next, and at some point, I realized that the family in front of me were starting to go ballistic, and it looked like they could be a while. A long while. So I left the area, passed the security check in and when I got there, there was 1, ok, maybe 2 - but iffy - lines, it was looooooong and i was at the end. I wanted to get on that delayed flight to Newark. Called the husband. Nothing reasonable could be done on that end. I called United reservations, and they re-booked me on the Continental flight. It took some doing, because the person on the phone showed the flight as already departed. I got my ticket, went back through security, went to Gate 1. I was the only one on this prop plane. Again, I'm feeling quite OK with everything. Like I was in a bubble. I had a feeling that once I got to Newark, there would be a delayed flight to SFO and I was fine with getting a hotel, or even better, getting on a plane.

Long story shorter - there was a plane. I tried to get on it, but what had worked before didn't work now, I was 6th on the standby list with a checked in full flight, and the flight went from 10:40 departure to 11, to 11:30. I'd be getting in around 3:30 in the a.m.  So, I went with Plan Whatever Felt Right in the Moment. I got a room. It's nice. Didn't break the bank. I'll sleep, and if we take off, I'll be home in time to teach my noon class.

I think that Plan B was the defining moment. But I felt oddly fine and wierdly calm as I reminded myself of the illusion of life and how nothing really matters, and tested to see how long I could be the eye of the hurricane.

thanks to Plan B, I learned that. For real. And now, it's 10:49pm, and it's about time to do what I came here to do -- rest.

31. All my bags are packed

and for once I'm not going to be up until 2 am packing!
Tomorrow I leave to visit Panditji at the Himalayan Institute. I'll be back Sunday just before midnight.

When I start going really fast, one of the best things I can do, is to slow down. I know it seems counter-intuitive, especially since ever since I was a little girl (not that I'm especially big right now) I heard "go faster!" What I couldn't do in speed, I did in finesse, complexity, smoke and mirrors, and inner turmoil so i convinced myself that i was going as fast as I was supposed to go.

Since I got home from Mexico, I have had a ginormous amount of things to do. Yesterday I got a tad fried, and today I said - I'm taking a break. I slowed down and when I returned to the computer with only an hour to do what could have been easily 2-3 hours of work, I completed all but 1 task. I slowed down, and everything slowed down with it. My mind was calmer, clearer, and I felt balanced, and from where I sit, which is in a chair right now, that's what yoga practice is all about.

I spend hours preaching to my students about slowing down and getting more, and I keep proving it to myself time and time again. Old habits can die hard, especially when it seemed like your life depended on them, but that, too, was just illusion. Our life depends on Nothing. We never die. So take a load off and pet your dog, eat some dinner, and watch J-Lo, Steven, and Randy on American Idol. Or pick something you like.
:-)

30. 30th BlogDay!

Blogs 30th birthday! Let's eat cake! And have it, too. Because in order to eat cake, we must have cake. Unless we can eat cake without the cake. Would it taste the same? Better? At all? But I digress, or should I say "digest."

Assimilate. Yes. That's the name of a pretty big game. It's really what we do all our lives. From the moment we pop out, we are assimilating: food, experiences, senses, anything and everything that crosses our field, whether conscious or unconsciously.

So when is it time to play ball? When do we put what we've learned to the test? Well, every day, of course, to some degree. But what about those "bigger" lessons/experiments/beliefs? When do we test them?  Again, every day to some degree. And then there is the day/moment/instance where we decide to leap out of our comfort zone and try something else. No matter how painful or mundane our comfort zone is, it's familiar, and that in itself is comforting. Pain? Comforting? It can be. For some, it's been a great and loyal companion. Maybe Pain is the thing that's always been there for you. I mean, the Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't know. (more on the cliche theme at a later date).

So it's time to make a change. To consciously test the new belief systems to see if they work. If they don't, then we can move on and find another belief system, or we can cop to the fact that we don't believe it enough yet. After all, the more you believe something, the more real it is. That's why your life right here right now is just a projection of your currently running beliefs.

Back to making the change. Yes. At some point, it's time to find out. As my teacher Dennis said, "It either works or it doesn't." So stop resisting and start resting. Cool. The difference between rest and resist is "is."

Why all the stalling? Because I am ready to make a change of my own. And we'll see what I really believe.  Bottom line, I think that we can believe anything we want. Sometimes it may take longer for the new beliefs to take root and grow fruit ripe enough to eat, but just like spaghetti, sometimes you have to throw it against the wall to see if it sticks. Not the fruit. The other.

28. Bloggy Bloggy Night

A long day into the fog of the blog. And at this moment, much confusion and stimulation in my brain and in this room. Boarding passes need to be printed from a strange computer. Dog needs grooming. I need grooming.

It's time to stop the momentum of this day. Stop the momentum. Stop. It's getting far too complicated right now. You're just going to have to take my word for it. Or take my blog. Please.

I would put an LOL right now, but that would be kinda cliche.

27. a there and a prayer

Are we really halfway there? Are we really livin' on a prayer? Or a chapati in the air?

In order to be halfway somewhere, we have to know where we are and where we are going, and what physical indicator/sign/guidepost we need to see that we are in fact "halfway there."

But really, I'm all the way here. For all it's worth, all the way here, is a lot fuller than halfway there. And no matter here or there, I'm still livin' on a prayer, not only because I admit, I actually like that song and think that Bon Jovi is a hookmeister song writer, buy because life is a constant prayer. We can see each action or non-action as an act or non-act of the Divine. As a manifestation, physically or otherwise, of the Divine, because seriously, what the h*)) else is there? If we were made from some Thing, aren't we still a part of that Thing? If a mother bears a child, and that child bears a child, and that child bears a child, isn't the final child still part of the original?

Which gives me pause. Because that would mean I would actually have to believe that we are all Divine since ultimately the carbon atoms all came from the same place as the oxygen atoms, and everything physical is a combination of these different atoms, and when we go sub-atomic on their little molecular butts, we find that light is the basis of all those atoms, and it just keeps going and going down the rabbit hole which takes us to wonder land regardless because all we are really doing is wondering and isn't wondering a kind of praying?

So, we're halfway Where? But you'd better believe I'm livin' in, on, with, a prayer.

27. Home again

Celebrate the end of the retreat and the beginning of life back at home.

When clarity comes, there is no stopping it and the seemingly impossible turns to an entirely different reality where all is possible and probable.

Thanks for that.

26. Compassion?

1:33 of the Yoga Sutras – Patanjali says we must be compassionate with ALL things. So what is compassion? Translated, it means “to suffer with” so does that mean we all have to be in the same cesspool of whatever life has to bring and if someone is bumming out big time, then we have to bum out too? Me thinks no.

From where I sit, which is in a chair at the beach right now, compassion starts with non-judgment. Being truly compassionate, is to not judge where someone else is based on my certain set of priorities, upbringing, veils, preferences and prejudices, but to accept that everyone has a unique path. If I look at someone who is “less off” than me, haven’t I made a judgment  that I am then “better off?” And “better off” in what regard? Financially? Hair color? Job? Relationships? Geographical location? Culture?

How can I really have the balls to say that someone is better off or less fortunate than me? Is my point of view so great that we need to base every single solitary other person, place or thing against the standard of Me? Wow. I had no idea I was so powerful. And controlling. And judge-mental.

If we base it on finances, which most of us, at least in the US of A’s culture, and I mean, what other point of view and standard of living is really even in the running, then I guess Jesus or Buddha would be WAY less fortunate than me, since I have a house, and food in my refrigerator and a nice bed with clean sheets (when I do laundry – see dirty laundry post), so yeah, I must be better off.  By these standards, I should feel sorry for Jesus, who was murdered, or Buddha, who was homeless.

But WAIT! Oh blasphemy! Did I really say those things? Yes I did. But it doesn’t count because Buddha was/is, well BUDDHA and Jesus is JESUS for Christ’s sake! How can I compare the homeless to these guys? 

I’m just saying, and I’m probably not making any friends here, not that anyone is reading this anyway, but isn’t the most compassionate thing I can do is to live in a state of non-judgment? Of acceptance of others and their choices? Of choosing to see the world as “equal to” instead of “greater than or less than?” Some might argue – but how can you do that all the time? In order to be in that state of non-duality, you have to be in it all the time or you are a hypocrite and how can you sustain it? I say, “you’ve got to start somewhere, and the best place to start is where you are.” So that’s where I am. Changing my worldview from duality to totality one moment, one choice, one non-judgment at a time. So what if I’m not there yet. I can’t judge myself either. Aren’t we all just doing the best we can in any given moment? The phrase “I/you should have known better” is kind of ridiculous, because if we knew better we wouldn’t have done what we did to make ourselves say it!

So compassion. It’s not just feeding stray cats or handing out sandwiches. It’s not judging while we do those acts of kindness.

25. You can’t always get what you want…

Or can you? Can you let go of who you are for who you want to become? Are we willing to truly see? To learn to listen to the different voices inside our heads and get to know them? “oh hi the critical voice. Thanks for your input.” “oh hi there voice who doesn’t trust love.” Oh hi there voice of the rebel child.” “oh hi there Inner Voice of Truth.”

When we take the time and “effort” to get to know who’s talking in there, we may have a chance to consciously choose our next path, our next rampage of verbiage, our next action, and perhaps even our next thought, which ultimately leads us to choosing what we want and having no resistance to getting it.

So, if we aren’t getting what we want, we are in fact getting what we need. We’re getting what we need to see in order to clear the obstacles and/or resistance that stand in our way of getting what we want. That’s one reason why there is no want too profound or mundane.  If you’re not getting it, then we are graced with the opportunity to address the reason. And if it looks like the obstacle is insurmountable and someone else’s fault or problem – guess again! It’s never outside of yourself, so if you keep putting it on someone or something else standing in your way, you are surely not going to get that thing you want. In fact, that person or thing that is your obstacle probably doesn’t even give a rat’s furry butt one way or the other because they are too busy not getting or getting what they want.

So Mick – once again I turn to you and say thanks. You’re still out there getting what you want and giving us what we need.

24. Angels we have heard on sky

Clouds or angels? You decide. If you feel a consciousness of cloud speaking to you, or if a cloud begins to respond to your thoughts, is it really just a mass of moisture in the atmosphere? Or is it an angel or other being watching the play that is "Life on Planet Earth."

Today there were some pretty amazing cloud formations, colors, and textures. Thundercloud blue wisps revealed dusky blue sky with a blazing ball of fire below casting vibrant orange and bright white gold halos. Sounds angelic to me.

23. If a blog happens and there is no internet to post it, is it a blog?

Technically I’d venture to say no, but no one is here to read it, so I guess I’d be correct by default. But is being “right” really being right? Does it matter? Only if it matters. And if not, I might as well be wrong since the result is the same.

Listening to the ocean. I can leave my sliding door open because it’s warm enough tonight and I will be rocked, soothed, lulled to sleep by Mommy Nature and Her Lady of the Sea. I love the Earth. That’s what one of my students said today, and I totally agree.

So who cares about not posting the blog on the night it was written? Not me. I’d rather be here with the Sea. The internet can wait, and if for some reason it’s gone, and never to return tomorrow, I will definitely have made the right choice to stay where I am and live this moment of heaven on earth.

22. The beauty and bliss and GPS

In the Sri Vidya lineage of Tantra, the world is described as "waves of beauty and bliss."  Sounds great. Do we believe it?

No reason not to because it's entirely true. What's the secret to this? No judgements. Ever. Period. Then all you are left with is equanimity, Oneness, the Whole, whatever you like to call/feel/be/experience it. And what's not to love about that?

The more beauty and bliss you feel, the more aligned you are with the essence of who you really are. So let your pain be your GPS - "Turn left" "Missed the turn. Recalculating..." It's awesome because every time it takes you where you are in the moment and gives your next set of feedback based on that.

Whose GPS are we listening to? Highly possible it's someone else's so no wonder we keep getting smacked in the head. Listening. Listening. And soon you'll hear the waves....

21. The Times They are a Changin'

Time change. Times change.

20. Retreat - or advance?

Retreat- Day 1 of the Sri and Shakti Retreat. People are coming, have paid money, and are ready to retreat. Retreat from what? Daily life? Old habits? Stress? Relationships? Other?

So yes, we will retreat from all that. Virtually unplugged, no TVs, no cell phone, little internet. And then what will be left are the resounding echoes of the noise that we are used to. Can we bear the silence? Will it be like withdrawing from caffeine? Perhaps. But fear not my lovely Type As! We will be advancing as well!
Advance to great consciousness! Advance to limitless possibility! Advance to letting go and breaking limiting beliefs and habits! Advance into the divine aspect of you. Your Self!

And I for one, am looking forward to the same.

now where can I get myself a margarita? We are in Mexico after all...

something about drinking tequila in Mexico is different than in the States. It's like when you are in France - you drink wine without getting blurry, fuzzy, or hungover. Is it the quality of the beverage, or is it the attitude that surrounds the imbibing of said bev? So if we take our new attitude into our old life, which would then become our new life, will it have the same effect? Yes. And when it doesn't, we know we are either 1) back in our old life again, or 2) it's time to get another new life. Yes, it keeps evolving, we keep evolving, so don't get depressed - just grow into the new You.

And enjoy the ride!

19. Ahimsa

Off the plane. Feeling the ground. I'll be heading for the water soon. Light breeze, moist air, wireless internet. Paradise.


A question was asked - how do you practice  [yoga] lightly? This was my response:


To me, practicing lightly is about finding engaged effortlessness in the pose, both physically and attitudinally. Also, paying attention to how the pose is entered and exited can add grace to the practice, making it more about the journey than the arrival. And to lighten up and not take everything so seriously!

Ahimsa is a big buzz word these days in the yoga community. Non-violence. Don't eat meat. Give peace a change. Organic yoga clothes. To me, they are all trimmings and trappings and ways to fool ourselves that we are living non-violently. How many times a day do we beat ourselves up in our mind? How many times a day do we refuse to take a compliment, or god forbid, pat ourselves on the back for a "job well done." How often do we deny ourselves food, sleep, and joy using "work" or "weightloss" or whatever as an excuse to run from the real violence? 

Stop putting yourself down. Now. Just stop it. Put it down! Start there. That is where peace starts. At home. At your real  home - your Self. It all ripples out from there.