2012 recap

I'm starting with the summary. This is what the entire year has led up to for me. Here is a prayer from the Himalayan Institute to say before entering your sacred space.

Seated at the door of our hearts, Oh Inner Light, you are Adi-guru, the teacher of all previous teachers. Guide me. Guide my conscience. Help me contain your light. Gurunam gurave namaha.

Last blog of 2012. It will have been 350 in a row. 2012 has been a very full year. I've tried numerous times to get something down, so I could at least send out a Holiday letter to friends and family, but so much is inside, and when i've started to write, the fullness I feel inside just feels so empty on the page.

Starting backwards, we did things differently this holiday season, starting with the decision not to go to New York City for Thanksgiving. This was decided pre-Sandy btw. Went to Half Moon Bay for dinner with Lori and Harold, John's sister and husband. John and I got our tree, larger than we usually get, just because it was there. Upon decorating, another change. The lights didn't work. We both thought this impossible because we had so many strands for spares, but nada. No glow. So over the bridge and through the fake snow to Lowe's. I was not prepared to buy new lights. It was a Pandora's box. A can of worms. A chance for a new start. A practice. Yes, a practice. I asked myself, "did i like the multi-colored lights I'd been using for years, or was it just because that's what my family always did, and they are what I had in the Christmas box?" So I decided I was going really see what lights I liked. Maybe I did like the multi-colored. Maybe I liked these weird shapes that look like fake pine cones. I know I liked LEDs. And that's the only thing I knew. So 1 hour later, a husband quickly losing patience and a dog who is being oddly well behaved, we made a decision. Red and White. Let's make a candy cane tree. And throw on the one strand of M and M lights we had that worked.

So we got home, hung the new lights (more challenging for a few different reasons), and then as we pulled out box of ornaments, there were the mulit-colored lights that worked!!! Ahhhhh! Sense of humor anyone? So now I am motivated to get rid of all the stuff that doesn't work and stuff that works fine that i just don't like anymore. Or that I still like, but I don't need and I'm kind of bored of. I know, such a middle class problem, but hey, I take honor the things I own, so they last a long time, and I've been living outside my childhood home for 30 some years. Hence, there is stuff.

As a result, I've been donating, replacing, changing things. Letting go of the "old me" - what i liked, what i identified with, etc... and started investing the "now me." I even bought some new clothes. As much as I don't really like shopping, it was worth it. And yes, I've been the same size for about 30 years, and things don't really wear out, so again, going through and replacing old ideas and images with new. Present moment.

This year, broke patterns by teaching on New Years Eve and New Years Day. Did a theme leading up to tonights Fire Practice and tomorrow will be a practice about Light. That may be the continued theme of a retreat weekend next year at Stillheart (shooting for Labor Day weekend!) on Fire and Light.

And tonight, I will not drink champagne and ring in the New Year. I am committed to changing the trajectory, so I'm saying "not this year" to what most of the country is doing tonight. Instead, we are "ruminating" and setting conscious intention.

This season there were no big parties, no obligatory functions this year. It was also different as the family dynamic shifted dramatically because of my sister's death in June.  It feels odd. The family feels small since there is one less phone call to make on all those holidays.

I have so much to be thankful for. In no particular order - first my friends and family who have been so supportive this year. Thanks for flying in to see the show in November. Thanks for flying in to be with us at Susan's funeral. Thanks for sharing parts of your journey, parts of your self to inspire, comfort, distract, love, whatever. Mom, thanks for coming to some of my yoga classes. And keep practicing that little home program we came up with. Get strong again. If you want to. Mary Beth - way to go taking yourself to Belize for your auspicious birthday on 12/21/12. Patty - way to hang in there and continue to be the best backup singer on the planet. It's tough to not be in the spotlight. Just know that I always see you. And Susan - I know your death was unexpected, yet timely. I understand, and it must feel good to be out of your body for awhile. Enjoy!

Enough of the death stuff. Thank you to all my students who continue to invite me into your lives, be a part of your journey. I am honored that you want to hang out and share the Divinity that we are. Because of you, I am a better teacher, and a better person. I will continue to reflect your light back to you. Know how bright and beautiful you are. I am so honored that I am your yoga teacher, and hope that you are inspired to know the teacher within, your Adi-guru - the light inside that is your true teacher.

And speaking of teachers, I am so appreciative of those who have helped shape me, helped remind of who I really am and what I'm doing here on this earth. Thank you for showing me the light in my own heart, my inner voice of truth, my Adi-guru. To you, I owe you everything. And you know who you are. And if you don't, then look in the mirror and get a clue.

And of course, John and Winston. Thanks for being there and supporting my wackiness, my idealism, my choices, and for the occasional advice on what shoes to wear when we go out to dinner. Because when the big things are handled, it's the little things that make the difference.

So as I wrap up this year, I raise my glass of love to all, and thank you thank you thank you.

So tonight, set your intentions. And I invite you to ask yourself, "What do I like now?" "What is serving me now?" "Who am I now?" I also invite you to join me as we let go of the past, and stand up for ourselves as we dare to be who we are now, not who we were, even though many people may still treat us like the old version of ourselves. Its ok. It's not their fault that they haven't installed the new upgraded software. But we have. Because we wrote it.

2013 here we come!

Hell no!

It's hard to give up hell when you've been told all your life that it exists. Even harder when you've spent your life collecting evidence that it's real.

Again, what evidence are we collecting and why?

Fear motivates.

And if hell doesn't exist, what will happen to Religion?

Just some last minute, year end, end of the world type musings. And then maybe I'm done with hell.

Hell yeah!

Scared of the dark

The thing about being in the dark, going to the dark side, etc... Is that one has to be willing to let go of the darkness. So maybe when we are in the fires of our own hell on earth, we are more afraid of the light, of the letting go, of the permanent change that can happen if we surrender to the fire of transformation. That makes hell a pretty awesome place to be because we are sitting in the fire that can lift us from the darkness. So when we start blaming god for hell, maybe we should thank the creator for putting us exactly where we need to be. Where we even have a fighting chance to move past our pain, our self-ignorance, our darkness.

So what is the fear? In order to move out of the darkness, the pettiness, the negativity, we have to be willing to let go of our justifications, all the reasons that support and prove that we have a right to feel bad. And even better, if i tell my story in just the right way, I can get others to rally to my side of this story, actually supporting me in my justifications.

Letting go of those attachments, reasons, justifications, that is surrender. Surrender is not giving up. Surrender is being ready and willing to let go of all that binds us to our darkness. Surrender into transformation.

So thank you Darkness, for showing me the Light, and thank you Light for giving me the hand to grab as I pull myself out even where I'm scared to let go.

Tis the season

Les Miserables? Released on Christmas? To be jolly? Well hell, we can all use a good cry now and then. A chance to dig deep inside and release uncried tears that are still lurking about, rearing their ugly heads as they sneak around the unconscious mind.

Tears can be beautiful, when we aren't taking them personally. Some have said that rain is angel tears. So snow would be crystallized angel tears- each beautiful and unique. Like a wish.

So it's the holidays. Laugh til you cry. Cry for joy. Cry to be heard. Cry just because. Cry because you couldn't before.

And while crying, consciously endow those tears as released pain, weight, guilt, karma, congestion, obstacles, thought forms, or even liquid snot.

So, party on. Cleanse the palate of the soul so we can start on the next course. 2013.

a date to create

I had a talk with my spectacular friend, vichara partner, yogini, and blogger, Sarla Nichols (http://yogatoendaddiction.com )

when shit hits the fan, the question to ask is,"What is the most creative thing I can do right now?"

Do that.  And if you are constantly creating, then so be it.

Jiggle my niggles

One thing I have learned is that people will not change to make your life easier. And that's not a bad thing, cuz without them, it would be easier to avoid some of those little niggly, or not so niggly, aspects of how we relate to ourselves and the world, and those little nigglies would keep niggling until we made all of our decisions based on their survival.

So thanks to all those who jiggle my nigglies. It may not be fun in the moment, but I'm a better, bigger person for it. So instead of me wasting my energy trying to coerce someone into changing, I can weight options and choose the option that will best serve me. Sometimes the choice is not so obvious, but keep choosing, and at some point you will enough information to know.

And to all a good night

Hope your day was full of love, kindled by your unique and perfect flame. 7 days until 2013. Can we keep the light on for ourselves?

The Eve of Our Savior

Our Savior.

Well, yes, Jesus would most likely be the first name that came into your mind even if you aren't Christian, cuz, well, it's out there. But as we know, Saviors can come in all shapes and sizes, so will the REAL savior please stand up???

that would be YOU! You are your own Savior. And it's not blasphemy because 1) it's true and 2) even Jesus said something like "you will do greater works than I." (So how are we doing with that one?)

Yes, you are the light that you seek.
As my teacher Dennis said numerous times: "it's never outside of yourself."

And then let's look at how we're doing with Jesus' endowment to do greater works than he did. And some would say he knew what he was talking about. Some would say it's gospel, even. So how about for 2013, we consider the ramifications of that statement. And it doesn't matter if you're christian or not, cuz regardless of whether you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God (but hey, aren't we all?), the dude had it going on, and his thoughts are worth considering.

Merry Eve of You

holiday madness

with all the holiday madness. which i'm using as an excuse, I didnt get the blog posted before midnight. because i was swept up in the delightful madness of possible restaurants to enjoy for christmas. it's really interesting because usually i am that person who does it all at home. the gourmet spread, the sublime pairings., the decadent desserts. but this year i decided to out source -- so where will we end up? at some trendy sf hotspot? some sublime san mateo suburban-haunt?  the drive-in that doesnt exist anymore? Or something new and different so i can't even say what it is because i don't actually know what it is?

whatever it is, i'm sure it will be awesome, cuz that's how we roll here at chez mazzei. but in the meantime, let's keep playing and rolling the dice and see what the universe has in mind. i'll bet it's even better that what i could have come up with.

and for now-
merry eve of the eve

looks like we made it

nothing like another Barry Manilow song to put the icing on the cake of your day.
We made it.
The question is - how did we make it?

did we make it from scratch? In other words, did we make it from the most raw ingredients we could find, and create our masterpiece from there?

Did we microwave it? Looking at a picture of what we want it to taste like and mindlessly nuking it into something warm enough to eat?

Did we make it up?

Did we make out?

Did we make our day? Or yours? Or mine?

Regardless, if you are reading this, you made it through another day, another era, another something.
Congratulations!!!

Now what?

Looks like we'll make it what we make of it.

blessings to all and to all a good night

#barrymanilow
#makingit
#tonukeornottonuke?

Noah's Ark

What if the rain is just the beginning?

End of the world

December 21, 2012. The end of the Mayan calendar. Was it calculated? Did they run out of writing materials? Were they predicting it based on their current consumption of natural resources, life expectancy, disease, crop failure due to global warming?

I remember as a kid, even though it was just last year, how far away it seemed. For people of my age group, it seemed like, yeah, we'd all be practically dead anyway, so the whole end of the world thing was plausible. I believe one of my sister's, who is in Belize right now, doing the Mayan thing (her birthday is tomorrow) locked into this idea and lived her life as fully as possible. Risking all for whatever moment there was. Losing it all. Winning big. The whole thing. Her life could be a movie.

And just as that date loomed throughout her life, affecting her choices, decisions, etc... I think that for many of us, it has subconsciously been at play as well. And now that day is here. Tomorrow. From where I sit, 3 hrs actually. My husband confirmed that his friends from Australia are still alive, so it seems we are in the clear. But are we? Doesn't everything center around California and the Pacific Time Zone?

Let's just say for a moment, that things would evaporate at midnight. Did we live the lives we wanted? What didn't we do that we wanted to do, because "work" and "real life" got in the way? Just like some people who get the scare that they might have a terminal disease, we have the opportunity to take a good hard look at our choices. If I were to die, what would i regret not doing? What choice do I wish I made instead of the one I actually made? Would I be happy I ate one more salad? For some, the answer would be a resounding YES! For others, a definite no. Just pointing out that there are no rules here. Our relationship with ourself and our life - well, it's personal to us and there is only one set of rules that apply: your inner voice of truth.

So let's look at the end of the world, not as an end to our physical existence, but as an end to the world as we know it. And know that the world as we know can end in a heartbeat (or from a lack of a heartbeat), but each day, each moment, we have the opportunity to have the end of the world, and make a new world.

A brave new world? Huxley got it right with the title, that's for sure.

Make your own brave, new world. Or whatever it is that you want. and remember - tomorrow never comes. So from that point of view, the end of the world won't come tomorrow...

But seriously, choose joy. Choose fulfillment. Choose whatever it is that makes your butter melt.

#theendoftheworld
#meltmybutter

Side 1, Side 2, rinse and repeat;

Many of you readers have taken yoga class from me over the years. Even 10 years ago, one of the favorite places in the class was the standing meditation - where you got to "close eyes, stand and feel."

If you are taking with me these days, you know this "close eyes, stand, feel (now called CSF by some)" is an even bigger part of the sequencing.  There are many reasons: the body gets to experience it's own asymmetry which then supports and accelerates the bodies balancing and healing process. Even just standing, we feel the body seek balance. Without us doing anything, we come back into a sense of balance. That affirms our body's intelligence and it's natural instinct to move towards balance and health.

It also is a great way to start getting in touch with the prana, the subtle body, the non-physical part of You. It's tangible. You feel it without question and in doing so, you prove your greater existence to yourself.

Another way to look at it is to experience pairs of opposites. According to Yoga Sutra 2:48, the effect of asana (yoga postures) practice, is that pairs of opposites cease to have impact. By knowing each side, we know we are not each side, and we start to find the place where there is no side, just center.

It also gives us a chance to experience and explore what is on those sides. In life, we are often oscillating back and forth between two poles: positive/negative, right/wrong, good/bad, you/me, etc... What can happen when we move so rapidly between sides is that they start to blur together, like frames in a film. When that happens, we may not learn to discriminate which is which. Starting with the most basic - what is pleasure, what is pain? In households where there is a lot of oscillation, activity, without times for rest and reflection, we may not learn what is the source of true pleasure (unity, peace, etc...) and the source of true pain (separation, judgement, etc...). They just blur into the same thing. And in an environment where stimulation is constant, and there are no places for moments of rest and reflect, all of life becomes one big gray blur, where we can't even see the colors, discern the flavors, experience what relationships are healthy, and which are hurtful. Instead of life being a learning ground, where we gather information about how things work and the effects they have on us and the world around us, we just keep moving, unable to learn a thing. Using all of our discernment power to just "get through the day." To just survive, instead of thrive. As we keep up this rapid rate of oscillation, we end up lumping our generic feeling into a big cloud we might call malaise, anxiety, ungrounded-ness, or even depression.

So when we go from side to side in a yoga class without a moment to check in, we don't give our bodies or ourselves a chance to experience what one side was all about. The cool thing is, when we do take a few CSFs, we get a side by side "taste and compare" right away. We do one side then the opposite side. Then assimilate that. The proof is in the pudding. I see huge changes in students at a relatively rapid rate. Once a student tastes the pairs of opposites in their own body, it opens doors to an understanding that goes beyond the physical. We begin to ask "how did that make me feel?" and "do i like that feeling?" "do i like the immediate effect, the effect after a few hours, the effect the next day?"

it's interesting that today the food world is very big into food/wine pairing, dishes done "two ways," and tasting menus. So we can taste and compare. Perhaps we enjoy these culinary moments, not only for the food, but for the experience of being able to experience both sides, collecting information to aid our future choices, which will improve our quality of life.

So when you get confused, scattered, can't make a decision, get nervous or fearful, just know that it's probably only one side of the story. So "close eyes, stand, and feel." Dont make anything happen. Just feel. The body/mind starts to seek balance, and maybe that decision will be a little easier. Maybe the picture will become a bit clearer. As the film slows down, you have time to edit out the frames that make you look fat or dorky. Maybe you'll have more insight as to what moves you towards joy, not only for the moment, but the lasting joy that exists in all moments. The joy that exists between the pairs of opposites.

Rest. Reflect. Then respond.

give and take

It's amazing how hanging out with a heartfelt friend can brighten a day! Not that it was dim to begin with, but what it gave me another way of looking at the concept of "give and take."

Sometimes when we give, we get depleted. For many reasons. Bottom line - if we have an expectation of something that needs to happen, we run the risk of depletion every time we give something. That being said, let's continue in the spirit of exploration.

After leaving Deborah's house, (a fellow yogini, musician, and blogger www.deborahcrooks.com) where we had a delightful lunch of root veg soup and little pizzas, I left thinking, "wow, i should hang out with friends more often" and then I got to thinking, "why do i feel this way?"

If everything is a reflection of what's inside of ourselves, sometimes its nice to get an "outside eye," another perspective, fresh ears on a subject, even if the subject is as trivial as how to make a great soup. If she is a reflection of me, and a reflection of a part of myself that I like, I can exchange ideas/energy with myself. Giving and taking. Giving and receiving. Because the cycle needs both actions to form a whole, being in the presence of someone else can make it easier to complete that cycle.

So if we are not finding supreme happiness or inspiration locked in our room, maybe go outside of the box and see what gets reflected back to you. that way the cycle is completed, give take, take give, it doesn't matter what order, because one leads to the other. Enjoying conversation where both parties are sharing and listening - yes both aspects need to be present for the cycle to complete itself - then "give and take" can be energizing and inspiring. It can take us out of our hamster wheel of thought and by giving and taking, we can restore some sense of balance.

So instead of looking at "give and take" as compromise - maybe think of it as a "companion promise" or a "co-promise" where there will be an energy exchange, potentially uplifting, but always beneficial to both.

Litmus test

a litmus test for lightness. excellent!

How do I know I've taken care of myself today in a way that serves the Whole?
1) I am not only tolerant. I actually accept the actions of others and see them as perfect. They are doing their best from their point of view, after all!
2) I am delighted when I hear about the success of others.
3) I see equanimity instead of polarity.
4) If I see polarity, I'm not polarized.
5) I see the world and my place in it as a vehicle to experience, learn, grow.

So when these types of responses to these types of situations start happening, it's time to ask oneself, "What haven't I given myself that i need right now? What part of me is not being true to my Self? What can I do right this moment to give myself what I need so I can be the person I know I am?"

Heavy

It's been feeling a bit thick and heavy lately. And no, I'm not talking waistline, but if the shoe fits... Or should I say belt... And not everyone may be feeling it right now, which is fantastic, because god knows, someone has to be the cheery voice, just like someone has to be the dreary voice. And most likely, we've played both roles.

As the snot has gone from watery and abrasive, to thicker and now just plain sticky, it's as if we can feel a heaviness around our heart settling in our lungs. And please don't jump to conclusions about "why" it's happening, and what is causing this heaviness. Sometimes we just feel stuff, whether it's from our conscious past, our unconscious past, or from somewhere else. It doesn't matter. The big question is, can we allow ourselves to be OK with the phases of life, and not take them personally? It's our relationship to the heaviness, to the congestion, to the metaphors...

We can attribute this feeling to many things:
We just had 12/12/12
or not
The end of the world is coming
or not (you can put one of these after each item on the list - or not!)
it's the holidays
it's raining
family stuff
anticipation
excitement
fear
sadness
unrequited dreams
unmet expectations
lots of thought forms out there

yes. all excellent reasons.
But ultimately the real reason is that we love.

And sometimes, as we build our capacity to love more than we did before, there are moments that may feel heavy and thick.

So if snot is really uncried tears, then let us cry for all of it because we are all of it. Heavy, light, happy, sad, scared, fearless, etc... and let us cry to lift the snot off of our hearts so we can find the light inside the cave of the heart. the light that knows no sorrow. That is the best decongestant ever.

Bedtime story

You want to hear a story?

Listen. 

They are everywhere.

The game is deciphering the story from the truth. 

And what's cool about that, is that it shows how we determine what we think "true" is, whether it's based on our story, or our rebellion against a story, or our desire to re-write a few chapters, or desire to remain anonymous.

So what's your bedtime story? How did it work out with the big bad wold today? Does the evil stepmother still have you freaking out with guilt? How's that ever important grudge coming along? Does your story include some things that really make sense on a happiness scale?

so here's my story:

I am that I am

that's my story and i'm sticking to it. 

until i don't and a new story emerges.

And here is an interesting question. What if we stopped using pronouns like mine, hers, his, yours, ours, theirs? 

it would be interesting to see how the story would change.

Friends

Today I received my first holiday card. It was from a dear friend and her 7th grade daughter, and their photo on the card was one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. I was overcome with emotion. They looked radiant. Authentic. Alive. Ruth's husband had died earlier than year.

This reminded me of a friend who's sister died a week after her 45th birthday. What do we know about this sudden death? I know she had been on a high on life phase for about six months. I know that she had been talking to her mom, very much upset and fearful about the future. I know that minutes later she had crashed into the side of a cement wall off the freeway.

Was it an accident? Was it deliberate? Was it the divine saying "you've suffered enough, come home?" We won't know and it's not even that important to know. What I think is more important, is to choose joy, find joy, remind ourselves of the miracle of life on earth. To appreciate what is given, surrender what is "taken" and remember that life on earth is a transient thing.

And yes, that "friend" was me.

City of Gems

It was Manipura chakra week in our countdown to New Year's.

Mani = gems, riches, wealth etc..
Pura - City

This chakra is the fire element - agni. As we cultivate that fire, we develop the strength and will that helps us move from where we are to the person we know we are. The person underneath it all that has been shining in spite of dust, programming, wet blankets, heartache, disappointment, fatigue, loss, etc...
That being who has that sumpin sumpin going on. The light behind the eyes. The one that can be the candle in the wind, in the dark, in the cold, in spite of the hand he/she is dealt, that day, or even that lifetime.

We all have it. We all can have what it takes.  Are you ready to actually experience the power of You? the light of You? The abundance that you Are? And, are we willing to do a little fire building to access the wealth, abundance, power, gems within?

Choices.
Choose your Self.
Oh yeah, it's on the menu. and it's rich!

Drained

Roto Rooter for my brain
and away goes trouble
down the drain
Roto Rooter

I made a note to self (small s intentional) to avoid writing about snot again. Well, here it is.

Since the weekend I've been on the edge of something. Something like a cold or flu. It's been presenting with the itch of allergies and the sore throat of swollen glands. And the snot. Oy vey! Today in snot gate 2012 on the 12th, snot is reduced and nose is pretty clear.so far. But the point of this isn't the physical symptomology. It's how I feel.

I feel drained. Empty. Yet the mind churns on. And when it comes to blogging or doing anything that requires a sharp mental capacity, it's like I've run out of gas.

I'm thinking its the big purge before the khumba mela. Or the cleansing before the end of the world in 12/21/12. Or a simple cold. But whatever it is, the effect is fascinating. After all the snot, the drainage, that's how I feel. Drained.

The answer to that? Omg there are many!
1. Throw a pity party
2. Enjoy it
3. Write a blog about it
4. Try out a bunch of new herbal remedies
5. Observe it
6. Study it
7, draw conclusions
8. Or not
9. Move on
10. Or something else

What I do know, is that by the end if the day, it's been hard to get words on the page, which is why I'm writing now. Before I empty more of me.

Righteous

If one becomes "righteous", there must be a "wrong-teous" so maybe instead of being righteous, we can go for "equal-teous."
equal to
middle line
center
We can get trapped in our own sense of fairness and what is "right." When we realize that we are the only person in the country of us, and that each country has it's own set of rules, customs, traditions, and beliefs, things will feel a lot less "important." Then maybe we'll lighten up enough and stop trying to conquer all the countries, instead learning from them by seeing things from their point of view. And if we don't like what we see, be thankful that they are doing it instead of you. They are handling that set of beliefs so you don't have to.

Soft landings

Ah life. And what a fun and fickle stitch you are! Unless I'm not in the mood to play. And then I might as well surrender to the fall. The softness of surrender that might cushion the blow, making it easier to get back up and do it again.

Tonight, however, I'm definitely in the mood to play. And I really enjoy the game.

Game on. Gloves off. And sweet surrender, I await your cushion when I fall.

understanding

The wealth we have inside of our Selves is infinite. When we start to put our attention and invest our energy in cultivating it, eventually we understand the rewards we reap every day. Until we understand those rewards, life is just life, to be interpreted based on old patterns, experiences, and points of view - all of which are based in the past. 

The same old life will look different from different angles. So different, that you may think it's a completely different life. Think about the elephant metaphor - if you focus on the tail, it's completely different than the foot, ear, or underbelly. 

Understanding the rewards we reap is great wealth. It's acknowledging what's already there, how abundant and rich we really are.

Deep sleep

Yoga Nidra chanting and chai today.
Awesome.
And sometimes that's all that needs to be said.

So in the worlds (typo intentional) of Steven Tyler, "Dream on..."

Yoga check

Remembering that yoga is the practice that takes you the state of yoga (union), when doing yoga postures, if you feel the need to squirm, you haven't found the pose. In other words, it's still not union (yoga). When you can hold still and steady in a pose, without feeling the need to grip or lock it down or add effort to burn more calories, then you are mastering yoga to bring you closer to that state of "there". Of union.
Yoga.

Done Waiting

So, 45 hours later, data migration complete. Maybe them thar birds hit some bumpy weather. Regardless, I can access all my old crap again.

Just goes to show, no matter where you go, all your stuff goes with you. So no matter where it's stored, you're the only one who can really clean it out and let it go.

One weird thing though. I have a ton of contacts in my address book from earlier days. I had about 2000 and I've deleted about 700 of them. So, as i'm deleting from my iPhone, i'm thinking, wouldn't it be great to start over? and guess what? Magically I only have 203 contacts on there now. Weird. And kinda cool. Except for the fact that I didn't get to pick which 203...

Good thing my computer has all the old stuff...

:-)

Waiting

Waiting. How long can I go without using my actual computer? Yes, I've been on iPhone as computer for over 24 hours now. I thought that the data migration between 2 computers would be done by now. Apparently there are still 27 hours to go. Problem? Not really except that we can't get online due to network bandwidth in order to print out an important document to fax to IRS. So, after 29 hrs, do I pull the plug, drive to the apple store to get a thunderbolt adaptor and start over?

Waiting.

Can she bake a cherry pie?

Probably Billy Boy, but she had rhubarb, so she baked a rhubarb pie.

I got home tonight and baked a pie. Life gave me rhubarb, so that's what I did. Life also gave me lemons, so I wouldn't be thirsty, and lettuce and green beans, and carrots, and roses. And out of those I did not make mashed potatoes. For obvious reasons.

Life has also given me other things and out of those things I made new things.

Life gave me injustice. I learned how to stop taking things personally.
Life gave me disappointment. I learned how to stop judging.
Life gave me heartache. I learned how to let go.
Life gave me loneliness. I learned how to love myself.
Life gave me failure. I learned non-attachment.
Life gave me success. I learned how to not take myself so seriously.
Life gave me love. I learned how to share.
Life gave me all that I've asked for. I learned how to pay attention to what I ask for.
Life gave me life. I learned how to appreciate.

And eat pie.

beyond awesome-na

Finding that place where asana becomes meditation is pure delight. For me. It's where I get to know my self and my Self. It's where my Selves begin to talk with each other, get to know each other.

Others are digging it too. As we discover more of who we really are, the global point of view gets bigger. As the global point of view opens, there are more possibilities, more room for growth and expansion. When we allow ourselves to breathe, expand, grow, we build our capacity to truly love. And unconditionally love. As our worldview expands, we see less of the little S self, the "i" the "me" and we experience more of the Whole. Not just intellectually, but really experiencing Self as Wholeness.

It's beyond Awesome-na. It's yoga.

10,000 strong

Just want to be clear about yesterday's post. I didn't get 10,000 pageviews in 1 day. The number was cumulative. Like the 100th caller.

Like 10,000 hours.

Something about 10,000. 10,000 hours to mastery. After 10,000 hours of practice, there is a level of proficiency that some call mastery. We've all put 10,000 hours in on something. Is it something we wanted to get very good at, or is it something we wish we would stop doing. Like complaining. Being poor. Being fat. Taking things personally.

10,000 hours. Think about it. And start now cuz it's just a matter of time...

Cray-Cray

it's crazy that  I have had 10,000 plus total page views today. Especially since i only have 12 followers, and yes, don't think i don't notice ms Christine! Today I was assisted Yogarupa Rod Stryker at his weekend workshop on the Gunas. It was awesome. As is all of the amazingness of "yoga" or whatever you want to call it.

There was a time when "yoga" was a cool word. Then it became a hip word. then it became an everyday word. then it became a non-word.

But that's a whole other discussion.

the crazy (aka cray-cray) thing is that this thing called "yoga" is/has been around for  a long long time and that the whole idea is that the goal is to go for "union" whatever that means. and what i know that  one aspect of what that means is that I read the other night in a book (yes, i actually read...) and it said something to the effect that without yoga, religion is a thing of the ego. Without union (yoga), religion is just another way to make yourself feel greater than or less than.

i'm not going to talk more about that, but if you are interested in my point of view, please comment, and i'll be more than happy to expound. Otherwise, I'm happy to sit back and say nothing. Cuz seriously, if it matters, awesome, and if it doesn't, awesome. and thanks so much for even reading this blog! I mean it.

and the 10,000 page views. Well, that rocks for me. Thanks so much for hanging through the cactus chronicles and the alignment rants. YOU rock for being there to rock my world. And for reflecting back to me the part of me that cares about what i have to say.

Amen.

And rock on.