Full and Empty

After dinner, I can be simultaneously full and empty. I can be totally full of vegetables, protein, soup, whatever, and my dessert pipe can be totally empty. I still have room for chocolate. Or whatever. How can this be?

As you may know, I’ve been at the Himalayan Institute since Friday, and Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, from now on referred to as Panditji or PRT, began our program on Sunday night. Yesterday was Monday, and by the time the day was over, around 9 pm, I was so full I had no idea what to write. So I talked about teaching. In this seminar, Panditji has been revealing more about his own personal practice in a very intimate and relevant manner. That’s what inspired yesterday’s blog. The little bits that he has shared with me/us over my short time with him have been inspiring and invaluable. Aside from the fact that he’s a Tantric master, the deepest teachings come through the space, the non-verbal, the “just being in the same room with him” type thing.” And even though sometimes he seems to be teaching the same thing over and over, there are always new potent kernels of wisdom, experience, truth, perspective, and techniques that are invaluable.

Like any great teacher, he is comfortable repeating information until his students “get it” enough and are ready to move to the next step. There is no hurry. Just support for the path of each of us.

So why call this blog “full and empty?” Because that’s how I feel. Last night I was so full, I could barely write, and even though I looked through my notes for all the places I jotted down stuff to expound upon (is that even correct word usage?) I found nothing. It’s as if I was so full, my notes were empty. I was so full and I was empty. My cognitive pipe was full, but my head was oddly empty.

This place of empty fullness or full emptiness is one of those amazing states where you are both of the opposites. And when both of the opposites are present, it’s not being about full or empty, it’s about being Whole.

And even though all this talk may sound really cool to some, in this moment I feel like I’m not coming close to expressing any kind of truth, as words are extremely limiting since they carry the weight of interpretation, which can lead to misinterpretation.

So remember, just when you think you know what someone is talking about, take a moment to feel what they are talking about. And listen to your gut. And here I am spinning off in every direction seeing all the ways that chunk can be misinterpreted. Moral of the story – I don’t have one. So I think it’s time to re-visit an earlier blog and follow my own advice – “When in doubt – shut up!” Cuz my writing pipe is full. And my breakfast pipe still has room in it. 

:-) hari om tat sat