The question of "accountability" came up in our Transformational Tuesday sangha a couple of days ago. The discussion was around #doingitdifferentlyin2018, the process of discerning what it is we want, and then what it is we really want. A very Sri being brought up the topic of internal accountability and the question of being accountable to one's Self. In my bombastic way, I proceeded to say that I am essentially not into the word "accountability." Thank God, someone else clarified and said, "you don't mean that people shouldn't be accountable for their actions, for example, drunk drivers," and I said, yes, I'm not talking about "accountability" in that way. I'm talking about accountability to our Selves. The concept of accountability to our internal dynamic, our internal choices and decisions, and how we may use "accountability" as a way to keep beating ourselves up for the choices we make or don't make.
I loved the discussion and kept having it inside of myself yesterday. Perhaps I can be clearer when I talk about this "internal accountability."
On Tuesday, I went on my rampage about how I don't like how we can use this buzz word, accountability, as another excuse to beat ourselves up, and for us to keep using a reward and punishment system on ourselves. My intention around the rampage was to open the door to find a new way to motivate and inspire ourselves that is based less on reward/punishment, and more on unconditional love, being really honest with ourselves, and using each decision we make as a way to really learn and understand ourselves more clearly. I went on to talk about things like "30 day meditation challenges" and how these external accountability campaigns might be a quick fix, but might not result in lasting change. And the things we really, REALLY want - well, I'm pretty sure we are looking for lasting change.
After class, I went on to think about those 30 day meditation challenges, running programs, diet programs, addiction programs, etc... and how they offer an important service - community, support, and accountability - as we practice the change we seek. These external accountability programs can be used as a technique to help us get into a new habit. In Sanskrit, we use the word "alambana" which can mean "support, foundation, sustaining." So I say YES to the external accountability offerings out there! Yes to support! Yes to community!
But wait! There's more! It doesn't stop there. It doesn't stop at the end of 30 days (or whatever the challenge time frame was). The accountability I was talking about that caused me to go off on all this in the first place, was that perhaps we have gotten so focussed and used to the external challenge offerings that hit the inbox of our senses on a daily basis, that we might have lost sight of the place of deep and lasting change, which comes from within.
So the question I pose is, after the challenge is done, do you still have resistance to that which you challenged yourself to do? (now we are talking about internal "accountability") Ask yourself, do I need another 30 day challenge to help me? And do I really REALLY want this? And why do I want it? Is the reason enough to inspire and motivate me? Or maybe we #gethonestfaster and discover that maybe we don't really want it badly enough right now, and that there is something else more worthy of our time and attention. And give ourselves permission to change our minds, (as we do moment to moment anyway!) and stop beating ourselves up for not doing something we think we "should" really want, or we "should" do, and have the courage to explore what it is we really REALLY want.
So the accountability challenge is one of developing a deeper relationship with your Self and understanding who and what is really driving the bus in there. And do whatever it takes to get your own ball rolling in a new direction.
I loved the discussion and kept having it inside of myself yesterday. Perhaps I can be clearer when I talk about this "internal accountability."
On Tuesday, I went on my rampage about how I don't like how we can use this buzz word, accountability, as another excuse to beat ourselves up, and for us to keep using a reward and punishment system on ourselves. My intention around the rampage was to open the door to find a new way to motivate and inspire ourselves that is based less on reward/punishment, and more on unconditional love, being really honest with ourselves, and using each decision we make as a way to really learn and understand ourselves more clearly. I went on to talk about things like "30 day meditation challenges" and how these external accountability campaigns might be a quick fix, but might not result in lasting change. And the things we really, REALLY want - well, I'm pretty sure we are looking for lasting change.
After class, I went on to think about those 30 day meditation challenges, running programs, diet programs, addiction programs, etc... and how they offer an important service - community, support, and accountability - as we practice the change we seek. These external accountability programs can be used as a technique to help us get into a new habit. In Sanskrit, we use the word "alambana" which can mean "support, foundation, sustaining." So I say YES to the external accountability offerings out there! Yes to support! Yes to community!
But wait! There's more! It doesn't stop there. It doesn't stop at the end of 30 days (or whatever the challenge time frame was). The accountability I was talking about that caused me to go off on all this in the first place, was that perhaps we have gotten so focussed and used to the external challenge offerings that hit the inbox of our senses on a daily basis, that we might have lost sight of the place of deep and lasting change, which comes from within.
So the question I pose is, after the challenge is done, do you still have resistance to that which you challenged yourself to do? (now we are talking about internal "accountability") Ask yourself, do I need another 30 day challenge to help me? And do I really REALLY want this? And why do I want it? Is the reason enough to inspire and motivate me? Or maybe we #gethonestfaster and discover that maybe we don't really want it badly enough right now, and that there is something else more worthy of our time and attention. And give ourselves permission to change our minds, (as we do moment to moment anyway!) and stop beating ourselves up for not doing something we think we "should" really want, or we "should" do, and have the courage to explore what it is we really REALLY want.
So the accountability challenge is one of developing a deeper relationship with your Self and understanding who and what is really driving the bus in there. And do whatever it takes to get your own ball rolling in a new direction.
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