(Warning: Liberal use of " 'quotation' marks" zone ahead)
Did'ya miss me? Well, I missed you! And I missed a blog day! "The day got away from me." Actually I was so IN my day yesterday, present from thing to thing, and when I had the thought to sit down and blog, my excuse (whether accurate or perceived) was "I don't have enough time" followed by "I'll get to it later" not considering that my "day" of work went from 9am-9pm. What was I thinking - I'll get to it later?" When? How late? At 9:30 pm? Yeah, right! That was me setting up an unrealistic expectation. A way to succeed at Failing. A way to make sure that I had fodder to come down on myself for something, lest things feel too good.
What an excellent teaching/awareness moment for myself and my Self! So here I am, the next day, skipped a blog, and I lived to tell about it!
This morning I said to my husband, "Honey I didn't blog yesterday. So much for the 365 thing." He said, "How long are you in it for?" I answered, "About 40 days." And he said, "you can always start over." And I said, "I'm not going to do that." (#gethonestfaster) So I skipped a day. And here we are, with the "day after" blog. And truth be told, as I've gotten into this project I created for myself, I've been kinda iffy about it, because I'm not sure I have much else to say about stuff that I used to be so Gung Ho about sharing. Now I'm more of the "if you are around me and some cool stuff happens to come out and we both happen to be there for the insights - yay and BONUS!" and less about gathering up all these cool teachings and insights, organizing them, and putting them out there.
I've done a lot of "disciplines" in my life, and completed them, day after day, without skipping. This skip, had I not had a bunch "completions" under my belt, might "require" the "start over." But not today. I'm not starting over, because I have a through line, and I trust myself and 1) know that I'm not failing myself or anyone else because I didn't blog yesterday, 2) I know why I created this project for myself, and know that skipping of a day will not adversely impact that, 3) I know that I have the chops and capacity to do a practice without fudging the "rules" and without skipping a day, and 4) I see what a cool gift this is/was to talk about that big, shame-filled suitcase we may carry around that deals with our relationship to FAILURE (caps intended for emphasis). Whether you have a "failure" thing or not, we all have a relationship to the idea or perception around failure.
And this just got that ball rolling.
Future blogs may include:
1) my relationship to blogging: why i like it, why i don't, why i'm doing it, why its useful, why it might not be, why i'm iffy about sharing in a blog
2) commitment to extended practices
3) present moment
4) how to lighten up on yourself without failing yourself
5) how to lighten up on yourself without letting your saboteurs/habits/inertia run the show
6) how doing something I've done before is #doingitdifferentlyin2018
7) how i set myself up for "failure" and how I could have avoided it #gethonestfaster #doingitdifferently #doingitdifferentlyin2018
8) "appropriate" use of quotation marks
9) legal limit/ratio of quotation marks:text in a single document
10) when to put your whole document in quotes
11) How to live a quotation marked life
And thats just the beginning. Of the present moment.
#notanepicfail #notevenaregularfailure
Did'ya miss me? Well, I missed you! And I missed a blog day! "The day got away from me." Actually I was so IN my day yesterday, present from thing to thing, and when I had the thought to sit down and blog, my excuse (whether accurate or perceived) was "I don't have enough time" followed by "I'll get to it later" not considering that my "day" of work went from 9am-9pm. What was I thinking - I'll get to it later?" When? How late? At 9:30 pm? Yeah, right! That was me setting up an unrealistic expectation. A way to succeed at Failing. A way to make sure that I had fodder to come down on myself for something, lest things feel too good.
What an excellent teaching/awareness moment for myself and my Self! So here I am, the next day, skipped a blog, and I lived to tell about it!
This morning I said to my husband, "Honey I didn't blog yesterday. So much for the 365 thing." He said, "How long are you in it for?" I answered, "About 40 days." And he said, "you can always start over." And I said, "I'm not going to do that." (#gethonestfaster) So I skipped a day. And here we are, with the "day after" blog. And truth be told, as I've gotten into this project I created for myself, I've been kinda iffy about it, because I'm not sure I have much else to say about stuff that I used to be so Gung Ho about sharing. Now I'm more of the "if you are around me and some cool stuff happens to come out and we both happen to be there for the insights - yay and BONUS!" and less about gathering up all these cool teachings and insights, organizing them, and putting them out there.
I've done a lot of "disciplines" in my life, and completed them, day after day, without skipping. This skip, had I not had a bunch "completions" under my belt, might "require" the "start over." But not today. I'm not starting over, because I have a through line, and I trust myself and 1) know that I'm not failing myself or anyone else because I didn't blog yesterday, 2) I know why I created this project for myself, and know that skipping of a day will not adversely impact that, 3) I know that I have the chops and capacity to do a practice without fudging the "rules" and without skipping a day, and 4) I see what a cool gift this is/was to talk about that big, shame-filled suitcase we may carry around that deals with our relationship to FAILURE (caps intended for emphasis). Whether you have a "failure" thing or not, we all have a relationship to the idea or perception around failure.
And this just got that ball rolling.
Future blogs may include:
1) my relationship to blogging: why i like it, why i don't, why i'm doing it, why its useful, why it might not be, why i'm iffy about sharing in a blog
2) commitment to extended practices
3) present moment
4) how to lighten up on yourself without failing yourself
5) how to lighten up on yourself without letting your saboteurs/habits/inertia run the show
6) how doing something I've done before is #doingitdifferentlyin2018
7) how i set myself up for "failure" and how I could have avoided it #gethonestfaster #doingitdifferently #doingitdifferentlyin2018
8) "appropriate" use of quotation marks
9) legal limit/ratio of quotation marks:text in a single document
10) when to put your whole document in quotes
11) How to live a quotation marked life
And thats just the beginning. Of the present moment.
#notanepicfail #notevenaregularfailure
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