mony mouna

love that song. or at least i loved it. dancing, lights, everyone chanting "mony mony"...  go Billy Idol. Or more accurately - Tommy James and the Shondalls.

Mony Mony

Mouna Mouna

Mouna

Silence. unplugging from as much external stimuli as possible. Partaking in as little stimuli as possible. Why? To see the addictions of the mind. Am I addicted to mindless chatter that keeps me from succeeding in my biggest dream? Mindless chatter that keeps me attached to a job/relationship/situation that I abhor? Or addicted to mindless chatter that keeps me from doing the practices that support my path towards realizing my big S Self?

Here's a practice - incorporate mouna into your life, be it 5 minutes, an hour, or a weekly thing where you consciously say no to stimuli whether it be Facebook, blogs, talk radio, tv, Tivo, or even just talking. See what happens.

It works or it doesn't, and at least you will know the answer for yourself firsthand, up close and personal.

space

so little. so much. we all want it. we all get it. we all are it. It's the thing that runs between all of us,  animate and inanimate. the connective tissue of the physical universe. so what does that mean? the thing that touches all, must know, or at least have a clue as to what All is. Because it is the fly on the wall. And the fly on the wall sees all, knows all. but the fly on the wall has eyes and imperfections that come with being in a physical body. The fly on the wall has limitations. Space has no limitations. So yes, the space Knows all, Is all. And we all have WAY more space in us than we do physical material.

Open our eyes, our ears, our hearts, our minds. Open us to the magic of Space.  the Big Space.

Trust

Sometimes it's all about shutting up and putting up. Putting up that trust in the Whole, in the Divinity, in the Big S self, in the Giants. Whatever it is you/we believe in that's bigger than our personality, put trust in that and let go. If there is real trust, then letting go make sense. If there isn't trust then it's a dartboard, and if it's merely lip service, it's a recipe for disappointment. And if there is Trust, then no matter what the outcome is, disappointment isn't even an option. It's just another outcome. Plain and simple. Trust me.

technical difficulties

now when things don't go as planned, we can often blame them on "technical difficulties." Yes, and they a completely valid from a particular point of view. But then, who is our Master? Technology? When we give technology the power to make or break our mood, our day, our success or failure, our happiness, our sense of ease or struggle, then yes, we have adopted another God - another Ishwara - one who rules. So what will it be? My human-ness in one corner vs the machine in the other? My human-ness in one corner vs the traffic in the other? My human-ness in one corner vs my life in the other? Who is running who? In terms of mastery, who is the master? Me, or my ideas? Me, or my emotions? Me, or my past? Me, or my fear? Me, or my whatever?

clue: no right or wrong answers. just interesting to see what the answers are in this moment. Knowing that in the blink of an eye, or the turn of a cheek, the answers may be very different. And yes, they are/were/will be just right.

which brings me to the million dollar question -- why can't i get "on demand" on my TV without having to call the 800 line/technical support?

Squelching

Squelch rhymes with welch and they can both be applied here. When we squelch our light, we welch on our commitment to becoming physical.We welch on our agreement to bring our full Self, in physical form, to the party of life. We may squelch for various reasons, most of them fear-based. but I say, and give permission (if needed) - go for it! Squelch nothing! Let your freak flag fly! What have you got to lose? You can either go down flying (your flag) or go down trying (to get it right.)

yeah.

Anatomy trivia

Did you know that "nearly every bone in the trunk [of the body], from occiput to pelvis, furnishes surfaces for the attachments of muscles which are also attached to some portion of the shoulder apparatus, either on various surfaces of the scapula or immediately about  its join with the humerus?" (Mabel Ellsworth Todd, The Thinking Body p 148). Wow!  What that means is that the shoulders affect and are affected by anything going on in the trunk as well as the hips, which also would include the legs. So all this talk about how our body works in isolated muscle groups is on one hand accurate, but on the other hand, uniformed. Yes, we can isolate various groups of muscles, but the fact is, in order to isolate them, we need to employ muscles to stabilize surrounding groups to prevent the moving groups from affecting the ones we want to keep out of it. But the bottom line is, it's all connected, so why don't we change our perspective from trying to isolate these groups from each other, and take the time to encourage them to talk with each other? To get to know each other? To enhance the quality of the other's lives?

I don't know about you, but i see a big metaphor here, and yes, i do love me some metaphors. Seriously though, i've just about had it with all this "contract this muscle to protect that muscle" business. It's not to say it doesn't apply in some cases, but it just seems like "lingo" to me. Before i go stabilizing, aka isolating, i want to see what's going on first. Does it need to be stabilized? Or does something need to let go? What is going to be the most efficient way to get the desired outcome?

My reference point is yoga teachers who talk in anatomical terms like its reality, but in fact, the use of anatomical terms is often just anatomical images which are not based in what is really going on with the function of the body from an anatomically accurate perspective. I'd much rather hear "feel your shoulder blades melting down your back" then "retract your scapulae and externally rotate your shoulders." First of all, the shoulders don't rotate, it's the arm bones, and second, you can draw your shoulder blades down without external rotation. This may not be the best example on the planet, or on the body, but I think my point is clear. Everything affects everything whether we "isolate" it/them or not. So to think we can live in a bubble and to fantasize that our thoughts and actions have no impact whatsoever on the price of rice in China is just plain crazy, and no amount of isolating myself from that rice or that price, is going to stop the impact. At least from where I sit. and I'm propped up on my sitbones, with the flesh removed, internally rotating my thigh bones, and hoping for the best.

The right answers

Come from asking the right questions. The right questions are the ones that ask what you really want to know. Seems obvious. Is obvious. But let's look at an example:
Do I want the red dress or the blue dress? That question is meaningless because if I knew, I wouldn't need to ask the question. Maybe the real thing I want to know is: which dress makes me look thinner (aka hotter)? Better question. It's asking what I really want to know. So the question is: what do you really want to know? And maybe there is another question that will help you find out.

Whew

I'm so full right now. Days are brimming with life and transformation. And tonight was all about cooking food so I'll have options for the week and replying to people via email. There were so many blog-worthy moments today, and in this moment, the only thing I can come up with is "time to lay down" so I am. TMI? Nah! Nevah! It's the Internet after all! And btw- what are You doing right now? Is it awesome? Inspiring? Worthy of your time and energy? I certainly hope so. :)

Outside my zone

Just got back from seeing Sheryl Crow. It was great seeing her live doin her thang. It's Inspiring to watch someone living their dream. In my own way, that's what I aspire to do everyday. Aspire to inspire. I think I've said that before. But it still works for me.

Why outside my zone? Because I went out two school nights in a row. :)

sunday kind of love

tonight i had a great time at a birthday party and ripped into the jazz classic "sunday kind of love." it was totally fun. and when i sang it, it was sunday -- somewhere :-)

then we got into a discussion of a saturday night guy vs a sunday kind of love. well, in the world of me, we should be able to have both. get that down and dirty kind of "i love my physical life and all that it brings cuz it feels/tastes/smells/sounds/looks so goooooooooood!" and the "omg you are the g in my m and my o there are no words to describe the sublime non-physical-ness of this connection to whatever it is that we are connecting on/with/to. Etc...   I do love me some dot dot dots...

so what is that sunday kind of love? is it that love that loves what we look like on a sunday morning after a wild and crazy saturday night? Is it the love that is happy to say "pass the chips" when you are watching tv on a sunday afternoon? is it the love that says "let's go to church and find god in the little things which may or may not include the what we did last night" kind of love?

bottom line - saturday or sunday, monday or tuesday, etc or etc, kind of love, there is love that we base on our idea of what we think love is or what we think love should be or look like, and then there is LOVE. Love. luv. luv ya babe. all that. it doesn't matter. What matters is, that the more we can love ourselves, the more thoroughly and completely we can love ourselves, the more thoroughly and completely and unconditionally we love ourselves, that is our Sunday Kind of Love. the love that lasts past Saturday night. The love that's more than love at first sight. A Sunday Kind of Love.

And btw - happy birthday Maren!

Who's talking?

Your big S self or your little s self? Being able to discern between those two voices is a key to a more effortless, enjoyable, and enlightened life. Plus, it's a whole lot less embarrassing to not have your foot in your mouth while trying to pull off strappy sandals.

Easy come easy go

Out of the blue, I got a gig for this Saturday. It was going to be a cool gig. Me and a harmonica player, birthday party at a yoga studio. Perfect. Except the timing. Right in the middle of teacher training, literally. Midterm in progress. Plus a Sheryl Crow concert on Sunday, lots of people coming to town right after the training, etc... In other words, no end in sight. But I thought, gig at a yoga studio. Perfect. Take it anyway.

So I got out my gear (to make sure it was working) and played. Ok, I could do it, and I'd just deal with the busy factor some other time. Universe gives me exactly what I've been hoping for, so I say yes.

A coupe hours later, I get a call - gigs cancelled. I'm ok with that. A few years ago I would have taken it more personally. This year it was just a blip in my screen. I feel good about that. A cancelled gig is only a cancelled gig. It's not a reflection of whether or not people like, appreciate, or respect me. Its just a gig. I was happy without it, was happy to get it, and am still happy without it again. EZ come, EZ go. Easy. Yes. That's the ticket.

Little things

It's the little things. By definition, the little things are bigger than the real little things. They might be the things we take for granted, or on a more positive note, the things we don't worry about because we assume the wil be handled for us. And what's little for one might be a big thing for another and might be the grand canyon for someone else.
Lots of little things:
Face cream
Silverware
Pajamas
Earrings
Chocolate

Now I'm about to list some little things that may not be that little in some points of view, but ultimately, everything is a little thing, and all little things are equally big, again depending on the point of view...
A roof over my head
A job
A dog
A husband
A kitchen with modern appliances and running water
A car
The luxury to blog about the little things
Chocolate

So the question is how to have all theses lithe things with detachment. How to enjoy these little things while we have them, and how to keep enjoying life when we don't have them.

Do it

Just do it. Because if you don't, then you didn't. And if you didn't want to do it, and you didn't, then you did it! You didn't do it! Which brings us to the question - are there any arbitrary choices?

Thirst

When thirsty, there are countless options to choose from. At some level, we all inherently know what will best quench it. So what is it that drives us to choose something other than water? Boredom? Curiosity? Rebelliousness? Whatever the reason, we can probably trace this back to why we act as we do while living in a physical body. Just sayin....

When we know it's there

You know when you know your keys are in your bag, or even in your house... But for the life of you, you can't see them. Think about it. We Know it, but we can see it. Just like in life when we Know there is another approach, another option, another solution, but our logical mind prevents us from moving outside of our habitual reality. That's where letting go, effortlessness, surrender all come into play. We are not surrendering our desire for a different way, we are surrendering the obstacles and limited beliefs that keep us from seeing. We are letting go of the blinders that keep us on the "straight and narrow" because by definition, that path is, well, straight and narrow. In order to experience surrender and letting go, we need to allow an effortless quality, because it's the tension of hanging on and trying to manipulate that cuts us off from the flow of the divine. And when we are no longer cut off, those keys appear. Right where you left them. Even though you looked there at least three times before you found them.

Moving on

Growth. Evolution. Change. Boredom. Any one of these can make for a departure of present circumstances, whether they are in the form of concepts, habits, relationships, lifestyle.
There comes a time when those things that were important or helpful to us change. What was once serving us, can become baggage, a habit, or even detrimental to who we have evolved in to. Then it's time to let go and move on.
As a teacher, it's important to remember that the job is to empower those who study to leave the nest. To fly and become teachers in their own right, with their own voice. It's one thing to let go of our practices, but another to let go of relationships of those who we've grown close to. And that's not just a teacher - student thing. That dynamic exists in any relationship where we have truly invested our Selves. It's a beautiful thing. Keep it beautiful and let go when the time is right.

Enuff newness!

When is enuff enough? When it is. When you feel like you are done growing for awhile, take time to smell the roses you've nurtured, taste the cakes you've baked, listen to the music you've written, enjoy the art you've made. This is part of the growing process as well. In the lore of the kundalini serpent, this space is the half coil of "beyond." We work hard for glimpses of the beyond, and we can start with the most basic "beyond-ness" in acknowledging our creations and just resting in them, assimilating them, learning and evolving from them by just being with them. It's tantamount to the nightmare one night stand- you get together and just when there's the afterglow to enjoy, one of you needs to get up and leave--- on to the next thing-- instead of enjoying the love you've made. Would you do that if you made chocolate cake? Just sayin' ...

precious cargo

we all carry precious cargo. The light of who we really are burns inside the vessel of our flesh.  So think twice before we rip ourselves a new one, or criticize our bodies, or play the shoulda woulda coulda game. Panditji says that doubt is a dangerous corrosive (not his words). Doubt can eat away at the part of you that believes in yourself, weakening your vessel, your confidence, leaving you weakened and a prime breeding ground for negativity, self-hatred, and judgement. Treat ourselves like we would treat a very special guest, one who we haven't seen for a long time. Use the best linens, eat the best food, say the best things. Compliment, appreciate, love. With a practice like this, we find ourselves overflowing with generosity, inspiring others to acknowledge their own gift of life.

Yes, the spirit is eternal. Our body is precious cargo. As is our spirit. Nuture both and shine!

What do we see?

Whatever we want to. At least whatever glasses we are or aren't wearing. And then there's our moods - they affect what we see. And hunger, when I'm hungry, everyone looks like a steak. Or tired, everyone looks like an obstacle between me and a nap. So what do we see? Whatever filters are the most dominant.

Energy management

Whew! I am so tired right now I just have nothing to put out there. Except this- when I focus on the space I feel better. When I focus on the matter aka the crap that's in my way, I don't feel so great.

Seven

Seven -

i have seven followers. Isnt' that weird? yet i keep writing. Why? Because it's not about the followers. Its about the content. Its about the practice. Its about the willngness to keep going even when you're going alone.

but hey, i have an army of 7. And that totally rocks. 7 is an awesome number. 7 days in a week. 7 is a cycle. and don't forget the classic drink Seven and 7.

The practice is about speaking what's true for me. So what if there are 7 people who are interested? Even if there were only 1 or 2 ( and those would be me and my evil twin) who cares? That's one cool thing about the internet. I can sit here and share all my perceived pearls of wisdom or even cynicism and pretend that i'm making a difference in the world, when what's really happening is that i'm making a difference in my world and that makes a difference in the world.

transitions

Transitions are the weirdest thing. They are so indescribable. Intangible. And unpredictable by nature. that's what makes them the awesome and the terrible. the agony and the ecstasy. the other thing i was going to say and the reality of what i didn't say (those of you who know me are totally LASOBN (laughing your ass(es) off by now  OR  you are just that cool...   OR you are just that into whatever it is that draws you to this blog that you are ready to roll with the rock,  rock with the whole, talk with the mole -- i again digress, but that's jazz baby.

and if you didn't get or understand why i went to that sharp eleven chord, well then, that's really jazz baby. and jazz babies are an exclusive club. And i'm sayin' "Come on in!" so eff your sharp elevens and just live the flat nines and be sharp. Or not. but you are welcome here in the world of the wacky.

I don't always elaborate on the rules of the game, but now is just as good a time as any. When I teach a class that even I get high from, and I see my students as the most  beautiful beings created on this planet, and I can only counter that experience by drinking in the beauty of the scent of a rose and the eyes of my dog and the voice of my soul, then I know that the rules are anyone's ballgame. Whoever dares to look Pain in the face and say "Yay mutha effer, you are totally in existence but still i say NO WAY is that the only thing working here and that i know in the effortless existence of  my soul that there is a place that is effortless and confident and peaceful and in that place i actually write the rules of the game, then i know that i am drinking the scent of the rose, basking in the eyes of my dog, and ready to commit that there are no hard and fast rules to the game, and that we are all  figuring out the best way to get there from here, right here right now, cuz we are done waiting (for a girl like you to come into my life)........... *

this was supposed to be a blog about transitions, but in that transition, it turned into something else. Which is exactly the point I was going to make about transitions.  So for now, I'll leave it at that and continue tomorrow.

And btw- those of you who are psyched to read what tomorrow brings, so am i.  and sometimes it's not all that i thought it would be.  but sometimes it is, and then some. And that's what being ready to accept what is happening, is all about. And then some. and also not. because there are so many sides to the same story.

what a great day. hope yours was too....................  (milking the  dots, elipses.... which i can't spell)



*I had some really pithy prose after this series of long dots, but i confess, i couldn't spell any of the words that were the backbone of what i was trying to say, so i sold out to simplicity. which might have made the whole thing better. or not....................................

SOS

SOS = Shiny Object Syndrome. Yes, I have it. while shopping i move from bling to bling. and right in this moment, the shiny object that has my attention is my cute little dog and his nice clean face.
so here i go...
for now...
woof

book learnin'

One thing i have to say - you are smarter than any book. Yes, that's right (write?). Your experience trumps anything you read in a book, so read on, but don't give your power away to what's printed on the page. Just because Moses came down with 10 Commandments, and even though they in fact were set in stone, doesn't make anything set in said stone. The Universe is in constant flux, and if we believe that Matter is ever changing, even those commandments should have the opportunity to flux if they need to in order to be relevant to what's happening in the present moment.

But hey, don't believe everything you read...

;-)

Time

June was a month that disappeared. Monday was less than a week ago and I feel like its been weeks. Time is fluid. We think it's measured, but really it has a transparency that doesn't lend itself to regularity. If time was exact, why is it that some days seem to whiz by, while others feel like they went on so long that it could have been a week.

It's just one of those crazy things u love to experience, then ponder.

I love to ponder. And I love to use the word ponder.

Scars and gripes forever

That's what can happen when we stay attached to the past. It may be patriotic, but is it serving us?

Desire, attachment, and a nutshell

Desire is not the problem. Without desire, we lose our incentive to keep going (and growing) in this dimension, on this planet. The "problem" is our attachment to the outcome of our desire. That's the bummer part. Like this blog. Today while teaching/inspiring (myself as well as others with stuff coming out of my mouth that is too brilliant for my little s self) I said something about desire and attachment. Then I developed another attachment - sharing said brilliance with this online community. Sigh. I don't even need to tell to how that worked out... Sorry you missed it, and so am I.

picky eater

I'm a picky eater. I just realized it yesterday. Now those of you who know me, might have already figured this out, but to me, it was a shock! I used to pride myself in being able and willing to eat just about anything! I just got back from Phoenix, and I couldn't wait to get out of the land of really bad food. What's interesting, is that there was very little that tasted good, or was even worth eating. Dont get me wrong, I ate it. I already felt like a privileged wine snob, and to add food on top of it, well, i just didn't want to go down that road -- yet...

When did this happen? Is it because my tastes have gotten so "refined?" Is it because i'm sooooooo evolved that I can only eat natural, organic, Whole Foods? eeeeek! I'm one of those!

This is what concerns me. It would be one thing if I just didn't like it. It's another thing when it actually grosses me out. When I can taste the plastic. Not that there is anything wrong with eating plastic. Or chemicals. If everything is God, then what's the problem?

The question is, am I judging the food I don't like the taste of? Do I think of it as "not healthy?" "Lacking in nutritional value?" or the biggie -- "lacking in PRANA???" Or is it merely a taste buds thing. Or maybe my bloodstream doesn't want another TV dinner or can of soup.

I really worked on this food thing for many years, and then I got back into YOGA, where there appears to be a culture that preaches a "right" way to eat. Over time, I bought into it. Those judgements snuck in. All those years of work. So where am i? Making kale from my yard, that's where. And even though it tastes pretty dang good, especially when compared to Pei Wei take out, I still like a good dessert and given the choice between kale and a brownie, well, no contest. And regardless of my food choices, it's time to pay closer attention to my ideas of "bad" and "good" food, because I've been down that road, and let me tell you, it's not pretty...  I just don't want to give food that much power over my health and my state of mind. Who's the master? Me or Food?

Moral of this story - Don't let your yoga get in the way of your non-judgement. Otherwise, it's just another attachment and set of concepts we will eventually need to let go of. So eat plastic or chemicals if you like them. Or not. But whatever you put in your mouth, acknowledge it for giving it's life up so you can live. Even a bacteria. Or a chemical.

Home again

It's like i never left, but it's new because I left. Similar to our journey to the center of our Selves. We never left, but we think we did, so when we start to remember, it's new, but the more we're there, the more we realize how familiar and not new it is.

Except maybe your dog loves you more and your sheets are clean.