Speed

Speed may not be the most important thing, but it's a thing. I just replaced my mom's dinosaur dell with my sister's newer gateway. It's an amazing difference. The difference between having to figure out how to brush your teeth and just brushing them. Even my mom who almost prides herself in being a techno idiot, was sitting at her old dell, clicking and clicking, hoping it would load faster. Even she had progressed past what used to be a screamingly fast piece of technology.

So we grow. Embrace our changes and feel free to let the "stuff" we use and live with reflect and serve our present moment. Otherwise, it could become an anchor that ties us to the past. And those anchors could be a large source of unnecessary frustration and limitation.

Heatwave

Yes. Dangerous heat here in Phoenix. 110 today. 113 tomorrow. When it's that hot, that bright, you either say "yeah baby! Bring it on!" and go bask in it, run around in it, or just be in it, or you hide inside a dark cool room like a mole.

That what yoga/life is all about- training for us to be able to handle our own light, our own heat. So, do we run from the light within or do we run into it?

And it's a bit more than the phrase "get out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat." if we are the kitchen, if we are the heat, where do we go? Somewhere outside of our Self, somewhere that's not in alignment with our essential nature. Result? Not hot, ok, but kinda uninspiring and possibly a yukky state of tepid, beige, flaccid.

My eye

My eye itches. I know that if I scratch it, all allergy hell will break loose. But, it itches. So how do I deal with the itch and keep my hands from scratching?

This is basically habits in a microcosm. When the pain of scratching outweighs the pain of not scratching, I will sit on my hands. Until then, all hell will break loose.

Real time update: hell is not running free...

Sattwa

Sattwa- the state of illumined balance. You can do anything from that place. Even have the most wacked out day, yoga class, hairdo.

Tonight in class, after the opening mini-mediation, most were ready to sit still for awhile. A long while. Instead, we did asana. As we moved from pose to pose, awareness of energy and subtler forces became the most interesting aspect. Then we used that energy from a sattwic place in handstands. Yes, a good time was had by all. And even this wacked out yoga class, if you compare it to what one might expect in a level 2-3, left even me, surprised in a good way. There is no judgement when in sattwa- just acceptance and a very large and illumined point of view. Aum.

The whole thing; pt 2

Another thing yoga can help us with is bridging the gap between who we think we are and who we really are- aka big S Self and little s self. So instead if "I can't believe I ate the whole thing," yoga can help us with the pain that comes from "I can't believe I AM the whole thing." until we can bridge the gap between these 2 realities, it can drive us a little nuts...

The whole thing: pt 1

Yep. Remember that old alka seltzer commercial? "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." then the person would take some alka seltzer and feel better.

Yoga is like alka seltzer in a way. Remember that one aspect of pain is not being able to bridge the gap between intention and manifestation. In other words- its fine and good to put it out there- the stuff you want- but the pain comes during the wait time. The time between putting it out there and getting it. And the longer the time, possibly the more pain.

Yoga provides us with techniques to help alleviate that pain. Kind of like alka seltzer. So until we learn to eat normally, or live without attachments and expectations, we have yoga. And btw- yoga can also help with "the whole thing." stay tuned for part 2.

Clear about blood

Just to be clear, when I talked about blood yesterday, it wasn't necessarily literal. Every flesh and blood person walking the face of the earth has stuff to work out. It's our relationship to the stuff and the working out that makes the difference.

Blood

When we think of all those "highly evolved" people like Jesus, Gandhi, or whoever your personal guru is, we sometimes put them on a pedestal and think that they are greater, out of reach, in a state of consciousness that we will never attain. I say if we can't attain it, then they didn't either - at least the picture of what we think they attained. If its not attainable, then it's not. And if someone attained it, it is. So, o lowly me, do I have such a clue as to whether or not I can attain it? If I get all humble, isn't that also my ego, for it implies I have such an understanding as to what I think Jesus was, that I can judge who and how we can or can't be like Him? And in making those judgements, I am endowing myself with the knowledge that I Know? Hmmmm. So yes, it appears since we all Know, that yes, those states of consciousness, of evolution, are Known and therefore attainable.

So what's the difference between me and Jesus? We both bleed, it's our relationship to the bleeding that is different.

Out of the mouths of babes

Sometimes it's not a question of whether or not there is anything to say. Sometimes the choice is not to speak.

you know it's working when...

You know your practice, whether it be yoga, religion, life's work, whatever, is working when you

1) remodel your kitchen
2) re-landscape your yard
3) take new risks in your job
4) a close member of your family suddenly dies
5) another sister comes with her kids who sleep on your new beautiful Room and Board white couch
6) the couch survives the kids
7) your dog pees on that beautiful new white couch the one night you have to yourself when all you wanted to do was watch a little TV and eat dinner after teaching class

and somehow, you just clean up the mess and go on. Without hurting or blaming anyone - including yourself.

Jai Jai
Thank you God

the eye doctor game

So here's a little game to play. I call it "The Eye Doctor Game." I often use it when doing physical adjustments with students in yoga class.

First, do something.
Second, ask yourself - "Do I feel better, worse, or the same?"
Third, observe the answer and use the information next time you are going to do something, whether it's the same thing, or a different thing.

A most important tip is to stay out of judgment or criticism or regret while asking, answering, and applying. This is just a game after all. You can beat yourself up when you're out there taking life seriously.

cheerio!

Stuffed

Many things come stuffed: stuffed animals, pillows, pork chops, turkeys. Many things end up stuffed: envelopes, drawers, closets, turkeys. And then there is the feeling of stuffing stuff into stuff. And the feeling of being stuffed with stuff. Which is fine if you are a pillow or stuffed toy. Maybe not so fine if you are a human. Learning to say "no" is one way to keep from being stuffed. So if you are full, say no. If you are empty, say yes. If you are stuffed, are you the stuffed or the stuffing?

Fathers day

I didnt grow up with a dad so fathers day is one of those weird Hallmark days that comes and goes. After I posted yesterday, I realized what day it was. Here's my dad day post:

I remember a fathers day where my sisters and I went to brunch and we left a place setting for our dad, who of course wasn't there in the physical, since he wasn't of this world anymore. We had a really good time. Happy Fathers day dad. But seriously, happy fathers day mom!

XYZ

There is this game that my niece is obsessed with called categories. We pick a category, such as "animals" and then we go around in a circle and say an animal. Aardvark, bat, cougar, dog, etc.... What about "x?" is there an animal that starts with x?

My personal favorite category is the one I was the worst at- movies. So I would say a book or a song, like "the biography of Abe Lincoln- the movie." I thought it was hilarious. I still do. In fact, I'm laughing as we speak. And that friends, is a good thing- the movie...

Big

Sometimes everything seems so big. Then I feel really small. And the smaller I get, the more removed I get from the big, and the more equal things begin to feel. Or at least the big doesn't feel as important as I might have thought it was. And then it gets quiet. Which is nice.

Eulogies

I had this great idea to write eulogies for the loved ones who are still alive, but I just don't want to go there yet. So here's to the future blogs. I love you. I honor you. You rock.

past the frills

Frills are fun.  Frills are pretty.Frills can be good. Frills can be the things that close the deal for us. For example, sometimes I choose my entree based on the side dishes - polenta or garlic mashed potatoes?   But when all is said and done, they are frills. Without a sense of purpose, of stability, of clarity, frills can distract us from what is really important to us.

In yoga, we can easily get distracted by the frills - where do your arms go? are the fingers closed or open? Am I looking down my nose or into my armpit? these are all subtleties of yoga poses that can become all too important too soon. when learning to play a Bb major scale, you don't need to know the names of the notes, but if you do, it might help you apply and use that scale in more ways. when learning the bones of the scale, the touch of your fingers on the instrument may not be that big of a deal, in fact most people can't even hear the difference in the touch - how a person attacks or caresses the piano or the strings of a guitar. Yet, the more you listen, the more you know, the more you hear. That is the time to start figuring out the frills. At this point they have meaning, because they make a bigger difference. They are no longer frills. they make sense. The become integral to the pose, to the playing.

Yoga is supposed to be a systematic approach to enlightenment. So why are we obsessed with skipping steps? getting there faster? obsessing about the frills before a foundation is laid? Because that's how we are. And it's important to know that about ourselves, because at one point, we will become more interested in the foundation we missed and go back and learn it. That is, if enlightenment is what we are seeking. Otherwise, it doesn't really matter. And remember, who is to say which order is the "right" order? Maybe you like your sides first. Maybe you could care less about the entree. And you can still reach enlightenment, because the Divine part of You, your Big S self, will make sure you get what you need to get there.

So lighten up and quit obsessing about frivolous things. Things that distract you from the joy and experience of living right here right now. Frills, foundation, fun. Rock those. And if not those, find other rocks to roll.

Soup

I love soup. It's warm. It tastes good. It makes me feel good. I'm glad there is soup.

Sometimes I forget about things like soup and go for the old "stand by" choices-,crackers, cheese, chocolate, not that there's anything wrong or undesirable about them. It's just that when I make a choice to eat them out of habit, instead of what's best in the moment, I forget about other things I like. Maybe the author of "chicken soup for the soul" had a similar moment of realization while making a meal related choice. And he wrote a whole book about it. Coming someday maybe---

Right now the best soup for me is to turn off the tv, take my dog and water upstairs, and plug in my phone. Then lay down and feel the feeling of loving life and being grateful that I have a choice between soup and chocolate, and if I choose, I can also have both.

Baby steps

Sometimes baby steps are the way to go. Other times you use a hammer. Like yesterday when I de-frosted my frostless freezer. I was gentle until I realized how much ice there was under that frost. Then I took a hammer and chiseled it like a sculpture. When finished, no dings, just a clean freezer that can now actually do its job - freeze! Sometimes more "extreme" measures are appropriate. Of course, what's extreme for one job may be efficient for another which is why it helps to know what and how different tools and techniques work so we can work smarter, not harder.

Again, a metaphor for freeing ourselves from our own patterns that keep us less that free.

Peace.

Living

Honor the living. We often take time to honor the dead, and that is ultimately for ourselves. On one hand, it's selfish, but our social morays have deemed it "respectful." I think to really honor, is to honor the living as if they were dead.

Time to rest

A week ago today I was packing for Phoenix upon hearing of my youngest sister's death. Aside from teaching a yoga workshop yesterday, and a special topics class today, i have been resting today. Sleeping. Absorbing. Digesting. Healing. So yes, today's Sunday aka the sabbath, has been a day of rest. The next 2 days will be the same, with the addition of responding gratefully to all those who reached out. Pacing, living, loving, and for today, resting. And that is as profound as I get today. But the simplest are often the most powerful, don't you think?

New perspectives

New perspectives facilitate a change in one's life experiences. Your life is your life. How you see it, how you approach it, what you do with it - all these things we can control. But not the actual Life.

Life

A re-post from an earlier Facebook entry. That's really what I have to share tonight.

"On the plane, ready to fly back home to San Francisco. Big heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been sending love. The funeral service was perfect. My sister Susan was celebrated and honored. She was a bright light that will now be shining unencumbered by the weight of the world. Do if you see a big smile that lights up the room coming out of nowhere, it's probably her. I know you are flying freely now sweet sister! Love you pal. YP4evr

5/28/1967-6/3/2012
Picture taken on her last birthday less than 2 weeks ago."

And lest I forget- for the living: may I overtly honor you as much as we do the departed, so you can feel this love while you are still on earth and not just at your funeral.

And enjoy this life. Honor it by enjoying it. Starting now, because if not now, when?

A thing of beauty

That's what it is. That's what it all is. The sadness, the joy, the whole ball of human wax. Even the stuff in your ears because sometimes life gets too loud.

Train wreck

"today is a train wreck waiting to happen." I agreed with my sister as she made her observation. So now that we had this awareness, were we going to sit back and watch it unfold? Definitely one option. Especially if you like train wrecks. But I think both of us were done with carnage. So armed with knowledge, we made choices supporting a different reality. That, combined with unattachment. The result? No train wreck. And we are ready for the funeral tomorrow.

Unchained melody

"Time goes by so slowly..."
Or not.
Last Sunday it felt like I lived two days. Was yesterday Monday? It feels like today should still be Monday. But it's not. It was Tuesday up until an hour ago. And there were times today that I began to feel the physical "permanence" of my sister's sudden death on Sunday. Places like at lunch. She rarely showed up, but there was still the knowledge that she had been invited and had chosen to stay home.

And it's bizarre.

Coping

Why is it seemingly easier to lash out at the ones we love, rather than face our own pain, grief, anger around that which is really upsetting us? Is it because we give ourselves the illusion of being able to control an outcome, even if the outcome is self-destructive, as opposed to facing that which is out of our control? Is being "out of control" so dangerous? Painful? When did we learn that? And as we lash out, are we even in control of that which we think we are controlling? So which "out of control" scenario is the least threatening? Which is the least destructive?

Sudden changes

When life goes from zig to zag, how gracefully can we maneuver? The fewer attachments, the more freedom, the less baggage, the lighter the step. Whatever yoga or other practice you're doing, it should be helping you prepare you for the sudden zag. Grace is definitely there. Yoga helps you be aware of It's Presence.

Baseball

When life gives you hard stuff, play hardball. When soft stuff, play softball. When you can't decide, you can always sit in the dugout until you dig yourself out.

Or darts...

Full

Stop when full. Enjoy it.
Become empty. Enjoy it before filling up.
Always fill yourself with the best.