Confusion

Confusion is us doubting our Selves. Confusion can be really debilitating. When the fog or blanket of confusion sets in - stop what you are doing and breathe across your brain to clear your head. Breathe into your heart to soften the fear, breathe into your belly to stoke your fire of purpose, breathe into your root to get the lead out. Pick one.

Or something else.

Or do something less confusing to break the momentum. Because confusion can insipidly seep into areas of your being where you normally have clarity. It's just that sneaky.

fresh new look

We are always looking for that "fresh new look." Is it a lipstick or a nail color? is it a new yoga class or teacher? is it a new diet? a new car?

It doesn't matter. At least we are trying to get into the present moment.

I'm not saying that this can be done with a lipstick, but perhaps it can.I'm just saying... if you are seeking new lipstick colors and you find yourself buying the same color with different names, perhaps its not the color, but the act of trying to break free.

So yes. Wear your Sienna Brick instead of Burnt Peppercorn. Breathe in the fumes of the Now. And give yourself the moment to be different. 

Roly polys

Roly polys. Such fascinating bugs.

Miniature armadillos with an armored shell. And when life gets too hard or threatening, they turn themselves inward into a ball and just roll with it.
hmmmm.....

Pupperazzi

So today I'm out with my dog. Walking. From time to time i get those feelings of "what am i doing with my life?" and "I should be doing more." "I should have more people in my classes." "I should be playing to bigger audiences." "Why am I so 'normal?"

And then 2 different people ask to take Winston's photograph! Pupperazzi! And I get to be a stage mom! And it was awesome!

So my dreams of fame and fortune have not been realized in this lifetime, and for most of the time, i am totally at peace with that. Then I get a day where I'm super tired, etc... and I have a wave of (see paragraph #1). What I know, is that i'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, mopes and all, and that being a stage mom is totally awesome. And if you know my personality, many of you may be thinking "she has got to be lying..." But seriously, part of being a teacher is to have your "kids," your students, be more successful, more amazing, more than you. Because we evolve and share what we know. And evolution improves on it, and makes it more.

So here I am, with my famous little dog looking so cute because he just is, and my amazing students rocking the world of yoga and then some.

And life is pretty good from where I sit. And truth be told, I'm glad it wasn't my picture that they wanted. That would have been a tad creepy.

Been there

Been there. Done that. Pretty much sums it up.

So how many more times will it take?

Just askin...

Innocent or Guilty Pleasures

I have a body. I live in a body. I'm around a lot of bodies. I hear people talking about their bodies. I've talked about my body.

What is this "body?"

I realized the other day that the body is an innocent. It doesn't do anything wrong. In fact, all it does all day and night is keep going to lug our consciousness around. Just when I thought my consciousness was lugging my body around all day, it flipped on me. And so it goes.

These things we call "guilty pleasures." My body doesn't have a guilty pleasure. It's my mind that experiences guilt and pleasure. My body is innocent. All that it is, started with my decisions.

It is not my body's fault that it is older and that it might be wearing out. It is me who used it and wore it out. If it's toxic or fat,  it's not my body's fault - it didn't drink a fifth of Jack Daniels or eat a whole cake. Just like an appliance, a car, a house, we use our bodies. Our bodies are innocent. They did nothing wrong. All they do is try to help us, carry us, and they try to find balance (homeostasis) no matter what we do while we are living in it.

So, is my house clean? Does my car need a tune up? What do i need to do in order to live more comfortably in the house of My Body? For starters, get off my own back and stop judging that which loves and serves me unconditionally. If I can't see that my body does that for me, then I need to start there...  Start at home. Home is where the heart is. And your heart is in your body.

Anniversary

An annual versary. A yearly event. A benchmark. Something we remember every year on the same day or same general time frame (i.e. -thanksgiving is an annual event but not always on the same day).

Today I honor and value 19 years ago when I exchanged vows with my husband. Vows never written, just fully expressed from the moment of our hearts on Oct 1, 1994.

Honey, thank you for being perhaps the largest catalyst in my life to
1) get over myself
2) grow
3) see things from a different and hence bigger point of view
4) stop judging
5) stop controlling
6) stop cleaning
7) start allowing
8) see the innocence in others
9) get over myself

For this to occur, you rose to the occasion with these qualities:
1) stepping up
2) patience
3) gentleness
4) emotional support and generosity
5) physical support and generosity
6) stepping up

I didn't mention love, because I don't want to overlay ideas of romance and fairy tales. There has been romance, and our fairy tale is more of a fiery tale (perfectly typo-ed and corrected in the previous sentence), and it is the fire of transformation and commitment to that which is unending, ever-present, and larger than us that keeps it Us.

This is my public declaration of love to you. My love, my partner, my husband of 19 years.

I love you. In front of God, Bloggersphere, and everyone.
A vowel renewal.
aaaaaeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiioooooooouuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you for being exactly you, no matter how many times I said just the opposite. Without you, I wouldn't be me, and I love who I Am. I love because of you.