Accounting

Accountability. We may resist it. We may love it. But it can give us the incentive to continue, to do better, to do our best, or at least to do when inertia sets in and that spark that got us going doesn't burn as hot.

I'm goal oriented. Yes I am. I write songs to be sung in public. I like to start and complete projects. I like a clean start and a clean finish. So when I'm doing "art for art's sake" in the form of a blog which maybe nobody is reading, or to write a song that nobody will hear because I don't have any gigs lined up, then those things that I love to do get put on the bottom of the pile. I may love to do them, but maybe I like the feeling of completion, of performance, of sharing the journey better than typing away at my computer, digging on my ruminations. Ruminating solo is fine, but I'm much more into conversations, even though they may be silent. Can a standup comedian be a standup comedian in one's bedroom with the door closed? (don't go there...) If I joke is told but no one hears it, is it a joke?

Accountability. I think it has to do with doing things that count. Or counting the things we do. And having someone outside of ourselves care whether we do it or not. Unless we are happy to count alone. Who can we count on? Who do we count in?

I'm happy when I'm "held accountable." I feel like I'm not all alone out there, counting grains of sand in a spoon and that there is more to it all other than the little "s" me. (self vs Self).

So this is another picking my blog up and dusting it off moment this year. But who's counting?