Thursday, September 15, 2011

Effort and Effortlessness - Pt 4

Habitual Efforting

Letting of the need to effort in order to feel like we are doing something productive, to justify our right to exist, to make us more lovable, to appease our guilt, may be the hardest part for many of us. Are we willing to let go of working so hard? This is why in YS 2:47, Patanjali says to "let go of effort and focus on the infinite."  Contemplating the infinite while practicing effortlessness. It takes our dualistic, efforting brain, the thing in our Self that is designed to find problems and solve them, and gives it somewhere else to go – a place where time is not the issue, where duality is not a constant state of struggle, but where we can feel the space between the 2 sides and through that space, find the balance and effortlessness that we seek. By focusing on the space, the infinite, we start to grow our awareness of the infinite space within each of us. The big S self. The divinity within.

Again, the habits of logical thinking, measuring, comparing and judging may be a few of the obstacles we face in achieving a state of effortlessness. From there we can look at our willingness, or lack thereof, to accept the fact that it’s OK to not feel effort in a pose – especially if it’s a pose we’ve done a million times – like down dog. At some point, we master it and it’s effortless. So why make it harder than it needs to be? That’s where the physical pose is easy, but the need to make it harder – that is where efforting may show up, not as a tool to help grow ourselves, but as a habit. A habit that is just as unconscious  as eating that second piece of cake, procrastinating, snapping at a loved one, feeling victimized. When we take a look at the "work" we are doing, what is at the root of doing that work? Is it to bring yourself more in alignment with your big S self or your little s self? Observing our addiction to “working it out” may shed some light on why we aren’t getting what we want out of life.

This is one reason we want to achieve a state of Sthira, steadiness in our physical poses, which translate into our physical life. When the physical part is steady and effortless, when we become "good" at something, then we can start to refine. In the case of asana practice, when the body is steady, we start to refine the mine. Watching the mind's attachment or habits, including the voice inside you that keeps saying "you're not perfect enough. work harder. you can do better. you're not enough. you suck." Then we do what it says. We overactive our hands in down dog, we add in unnecessary tension in poses or aspects of our life that have become easy. Part of the reward of getting good at something is that it becomes more effortless. That's why we want to get good at something in the first place. The promise of effortlessness is the payoff for our hard work - the effort needed when we are learning something new. Ironic isn't it?

So when we achieve that state of physical effortlessness, celebrate and enjoy! This is where if you are focusing on the infinite, you can enjoy the state of being guilt free. If a state of effortlessness sends you into a tailspin, then the "work" becomes on examining the mind. If it's telling you that you need to work harder because you're not good enough, it's trying to get you to go back and examine the physical. It's creating a distraction to keep you from looking at it, so that aspect of your mind doesn't have to change. For that aspect of your mind, it's achieved a state of effortlessness and it wants to stay there. It's learned how to beat you up, it's good at it's job, and it wants to keep on cruisin'. It feels threatened when you shine a light in there.

I digress here - the cool part of all that is that the aspect of your mind that beat you up, got good at it's job, etc... is the part of you that helped get you to where you are now. The part of you that got you to the place where you are even contemplating things like "effortlessness." That's so rad.

Are we attached to efforting? Are we willing to let go of "trying" so hard, working so hard, beating ourselves up for "not doing enough?" Until we can embrace the concept that life doesn't have to be hard, painful, miserable, fruitless, etc... letting go of effort will probably be extremely challenging, but hey, then it's legal right? If i'm working hard to be effortless, then it must be ok...

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