School's Out! Who's Ready for Summer Vacation???

YES! I love summer vacation! I really do!

Yesterday I was out for a walk, and in my social distancing way, I stepped off the sidewalk and on to the street as I passed a fellow walker. He said, "No need to worry! It's summer now and the virus will be dead soon!" I said nothing, smiled, and continued walking, maintaining my 6ft perimeter. But I started thinking...

I had heard this talk about the virus not surviving in warmer weather. This sounded strange to me, unless we are talking about a fiery inferno. I’m not a scientist in the lab working with petri dishes, but what I understand about growing things is that they need some sort of warm and wet environment (like a lung).  And if the virus dies in warm weather, it would have to be warmer than the temperature of the human body, so over 98.6 degrees in order to make any difference. Again, I'm not a scientist, and I will gladly step aside and give the floor to a person who has actual knowledge of this. But regardless,  I'd like to continue this riff...

“Flu season” is equated with autumn. Interesting. And in the light of this "the virus will go away in the summer" thought form, I thought, maybe it's not about the temperature of the weather (because didn't Singapore, a very "summery" climate, have a lot of cases?). 

Maybe it’s because many of us (at least from a Western world perspective) equate “summer” with “vacation.” We have grown up in the school system with the idea of “summer vacation.” It’s in there at a deep, childhood memory level. 

What did we equate fall (which might currently be know as Flu Season) with? 

Going back to school. Going back inside. Going back sitting in chairs at desks with rules and a bunch of people around, not by my choice (friends) but stuck in seat assignments so the teacher could take roll or learn our names easier. Stuck in a chair or desk next to someone “gross.” That was the word we used back then to describe the unfamiliar or undesireable, or perhaps something that wasn’t a choice. 

So why wouldn’t flu season go along with autumn? Maybe it’s not about the physical temperature, but maybe the temperature of our internal fire of inspiration or creativity that might have been “cooled down” depending on your relationship with school. The fire that is our breath of life, our motivation, our joie de vivre, cooled off by the ringing of a school bell. 

Then we get older and get jobs. How many of us still think about “summer vacation?” Is there some sort of “brightening” that happens when we think about summer coming? Is there a sense of “lightening up” or “freedom” or “relief” when we think about summer coming? 

And even if we work throughout the entire year and don’t necessarily take our vacations in the summer, is it possible that we have carried the cure for the "doldroms" virus, the "feeling put in a box" virus, the "I’m no longer making present moment choices for myself because I have to show up on time for stuff that may or may not interest me and for some reason I feel like I have to keep showing up in the exact same way, the way that I’m expected to show up every damn day of my damn life to date and I’m frankly just tired of the whole thing and am looking for a way out but not too hard becasue I’m afraid that if I change the world as I know it will fall apart and then I’ll be out on the street, destitute, and will die" virus, —- (take a breath) —- that this cure for the virus might be as simple as a summer vacation? Some space and time to play? to make present moment choices? to be or remember who you are now outside of the container of “school,” “work,” “career,” “identity,” “persona,” or whatever construct or pattern keeps you confined with some sort of “gross-ness” or “germs” that “make us sick?” 

Could it be possible that many of us are looking for some excuse to “stay home from school” and remember that we are more than just being a cog in some other human’s machine. A machine that we may not even deeply care about. Even the machines that we in fact do care deeply about. 

There may still be a call to detach from the machine to remember and re-discover our New Now. 

Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want? What do I really want?

Maybe we just wanted a little summer vacation. And now we have it. Sort of. Can we make this more of a summer vacation, and remember to play together, take naps, explore dreamtime, try on some different clothes and personas, dance, paint, bake, make a mess, clean it up, or don't?

Are you willing to celebrate life however you do it without apology? 

Be present in your New Now?

Connect to your True Value?

Remember that you are living your dream? Dreaming your life?

How do you relate to fun? How do you feel when you have more fun? Explore your relationship to fun even if you aren't in the sun. Stay in and play as if school is out! Perhaps more present moment and more fun are some antidotes to explore! And if science proves otherwise (don't forget the proven power of placebo), at least we had fun trying!

The Loudest Voice While Sheltering in Place

As a Screen Actors Guild member, once a year I get to vote on the actors who are nominated for the Screen Actors Guild Award in January. This means, that if I haven't been keeping up with film or TV, come awards season (screeners start going out mid-late December), I have a LOT of viewing to do if I'm going to vote fairly.

This year, the amount of great work was overwhelming. I wanted to vote for so many great performances! In most cases, there was no clear winner.

What makes for a clear winner?

Is the winner the loudest voice? The most inspiring voice? The most truthful voice? The small silent voice? Judges, mark your ballots...

One of the mini-series' that I saw that "left a mark" for me was the 7 part Showtime series, "The Loudest Voice" (starring Russell Crowe as Roger Ailes),  based on the book "The Loudest Voice in the Room: How the Brilliant, Bombastic Roger Ailes built Fox News - and Divided a Country."

If you are a person who keeps up to speed on current events, and who knows how Fox News came to be the #1 watched "news" station, then this might be redundant information. For me, the information, even if inflated by 50% show biz (which I don't' know if it was),  "The Loudest Voice" was, well, loud.

I started thinking about my voice, a voice in a sea of voices, singing, preaching, dancing, banging away to see if what I'm doing can turn a few heads and get a few people to listen to the MESSAGE I have to share. Do I want to be the LOUDEST voice? Do I NEED to be the loudest voice? What is my VOICE? What is the voice that's right for me?

In these days of people, places, and things banging away, clamoring away for everyone's sheltering in place attention, a shelter that could be a refuge, a haven, a cave, a place of quietude, how addicted to noise are we? How many loud voices do we want or need? Do these loud voices drown out the internal loud voices of our own minds? And is that what we are seeking? Are we creating a shield of noise to keep us from dealing with our Selves?

We are given an opportunity to turn down the volume of external noise - whether its in the form of physical interaction, vibrations, thought forms, less cars on the road, less people on the street, less planes in the air, to name a few. Are we giving ourselves this unique and rare opportunity to TURN DOWN THE VOLUME of opinion news, hyperbole, fear tactics, FOMO, or whatever else we can't seem to turn off?

Where is that small, still voice inside? Can we hear it? Can we hear our own internal voice of Truth, or at least make room for it? Because that voice doesn't shout to be heard. That voice, that ever-present voice, that ever-present guiding, encouraging, unconditionally loving voice is always there. If we choose to let it be drowned out by "noise," then so be it. The voice won't shout, but your life might. It might just feel so dang overwhelming, or chaotic, or hopeless, or painful that you have nowhere else to go because none of the noise will work. (If it works, it's not noise, btw).

I don't want to feel like I have to be the Loudest Voice in the Room. Or on Social. Or even in my own house. I have a really loud voice when I want to use it. And I'm not afraid to use it. But if I can't hear my small still voice within, that's a really good time for me to shut up.

I vote for the small still voice of Truth within. That is the clear winner for me. Without that voice, the other voices I use are just noise.

New Greetings courtesy of COVID-19 - "Be Safe Out There!"

Being in the yoga world, there are so many discussions around “safety.” At one point teachers were told that it was their job to “keep their students safe” meaning keeping them “safe” in the pose. Years ago I blogged about the concept and expectation around the word “safety.” When I looked back to find the links to the blog, I realized that I only published one version. So on 4-21-2020 I published the other one. You can read them both here if you like:

https://jeanmazzei.blogspot.com/2017/04/safety-in-numbers.html

https://jeanmazzei.blogspot.com/2020/04/can-yoga-cues-keep-you-safe.html

So clearly, this idea of “safety” has been a topic of exploration for me for quite some time. I think because when we start to feed and encourage “safety” we are also feeding the concept of “danger” (which is why we are concerned with safety in the first place) and in doing so, we feed the beast of “fear.” 

Yuk.

So how do we, meaning me right now, address the idea of “safety” as a concept that keeps “danger” and “fear” alive, with respect and compassion for people, places, and things that live in clear and present dangers? Are we willing, for a moment, to untangle ourselves from physical, mental, and emotional realities of the physical plane to explore a Bigger Picture, and in exploring a BP,  is it possible to diffuse some of the charge from the “fear and present danger?” Isn’t that why we have a spiritual life and point of view? To remind us that we are not all that we seem and that there are more ways to look at a scenario than from through the lens of staying safe?

I mean, take Jesus for example. He knew he was going to be crucified. I’m thinking that would be a reason to be afraid. And yet, as the story goes, the dude was pretty dang fearless. Human. And without fear. And I’m thinking it’s because he had a pretty strong spiritual connection to his Dad and Mom, both hefty spiritual hitters. Aren’t we also children of God? Is it possible that we have just forgotten that all this connection and fearlessness is ours as well? And it doesn’t mean life won’t hurt. It just won't have the sting and stank of fear to intensify the sensations. 

Getting back to the topic and title “Be Safe Out There”

What does that imply- "be safe out there?

Does it imply that there are dangers outside of ourself? 

Why don’t we think about “being safe IN there?” 

What is safety anyway?

To me, safety is Knowing your Self. The only safety we really have is knowing who we are and what we are doing here. And if we can make sense of that, (in other words, we know why we are here), that’s just a bonus. It doesn't really matter if we know Why. It may not even matter if we have the full scope and scoop of What (what we are doing here.) The big thing is knowing Who we are. 

When I know who I am, I know what I need. I know what I really need to survive and thrive. I know how to give it to myself. And I’m willing to give it to myself. This is not to say I’m an island in my own little world. I know myself enough to know my relationship to Other(s), to community, to World. I know where I “dont trust” and know that its me not trusting me to listen to the voice that says “dont go there right now” or the voice that says “ask that person for ____________”.

"Stay Safe - the Greeting"

Why did so many of us jump on the “stay safe out there” bandwagon? Perhaps it’s because our old greetings were so out of date and meaningless that we couldn’t wait to find something else, anything else, to more closely reflect what we wanted to say when saying hello or good bye or offering “words of wisdom” tag lines to our departures. What are we wishing each other when we say “stay safe out there?” Are we implying that there is danger? That there is something outside of ourselves that we need to protect ourselves from? That we could be hurt in some way by something or someone? Are we acknowledging that there is a lurking danger that we need to keep ourselves “safe” from?

What is it we really want to say? What are the actual words we want to offer the person we are leaving, because like it or not, they will most likely hear those words, and those words will linger and affect the consciousness of that person. Do we want to acknowledge that yes, it’s a big bad world out there and I want you to stay safe? Because there is a place for that acknowledgment. What was one of those old ones we used to say? “Have a nice day.” Do we want people to think about having a nice day? And maybe we still do, but the thrill is gone from that phrase, unless it is spoken from a place of present moment, authentically, from your heart. Then the person may actually hear the sentiment of those words as they reverberate, digest, and linger in their consciousness. When I sign my emails, I think deeply about my closing: Sincerely, Best Regards, Warmly, Peace, Peacefully, Love, Love All Ways, or it might be an emoticon because with a picture comes a feeling and perhaps its the feeling that I want to evoke the most. 

Even before the virus, people used to leave and say to me, “be safe.” I would reply “take risks” because I knew there was no clear and present danger to my life and “keeping myself safe” was keeping myself from questioning. Keeping myself “inside my box.” Keeping myself from responding from present moment, because to me, in those moments,  “safe” meant “familiar.” 

Right now, there is no familiar, so from that point of view, how can we “stay safe?” Staying “safe” doesn’t necessarily mean following rules. Maybe what I would want to say is “stay informed.” “Live responsibly.” “See a bigger picture today.” Instead of saying “have a nice day” to people, because frankly, some people I’ve been in contact are really melting down, and for me to suggest a “nice” day feels like a quantum leap. So to them I’ve been saying “have a better day” because for me, it’s about step by step. Can I love myself a little more? Can I have a better day? Can I judge a little less? 

I know many may think I live in an ivory tower (where did that phrase come from anyway?), and maybe I do. Maybe I used to live in hell, and brick by brick I built a new place to live for myself. And yes, I #acknowledge that everyone has their own timing. And I know that everyone is building and creating their own reality. And I’ve created, destroyed, and rebuilt mine numerous times. At one point I found teachings and Truths that worked for me. And they still work. And I’m still with them. And I’m open to Know a bigger picture that may blow my current Truths out of the water, or at least give them a run for their money. So when and if my current truths stop working, I’m sure that bigger truths will reveal themselves to me. But in the meantime, I’m not going to apologize for seeing things the way that I do. And yes, I’m compassionate and there is space inside of me and my reality for everyone to be doing what they need to do. 

So stay informed. Stay healthy. Stay clear. Stay open. Stay flexible. Stay resiliant. Stay loving. Stay You. 

Can Yoga Cues Keep You Safe?

I wrote this draft almost 3 years to the day on April 19, 2017. I didn't publish this version because I chose to re-write it. And I'm publishing it now. Because the topic of the week is safety.

If you want to read the version published back in 2017, feel free to check it out as well. 

https://jeanmazzei.blogspot.com/2017/04/safety-in-numbers.html

In both, I'm talking about the word "safety." What is safety? Can anything really "keep us safe?" What does it mean to "stay safe" or "stay safe out there?" 

Here is the 2017 blog where I went off on a rant about yoga cues. Enjoy. 

I have a problem with yoga cues these days. As teachers, we bunker ourselves in with generic cues designed to "keep students safe," but if you've been paying attention, many of those cues are being de-bunked, investigated, or they are being called unsafe! Why? Because a cue is a moment in time and to use the same cues over and over is to feed your kids one food, every day, for the rest of their lives! Green beans are great, but not for every meal, every day. You need a balanced diet. As yoga teachers, we need to provide a balanced diet of cues that mean something to who is coming to class. We churn out yoga teachers in yoga factories. It's a great business model. It serves a purpose. I'm over it. It takes time to season yourself, so when I teach teachers, I am providing a lifelong structure that gets them asking questions early, to help them later so they can more easily grow into themselves.

My job as a yoga teacher is to provide a "safe" environment for the student to walk into unknown territory physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Often this unknown is perceived and/or interpreted as "unsafe." "I don't feel safe right now." Is it because it's unfamiliar and you don't know what to do? That would be an opportunity for growth. Who said you had to know everything about everything right this second! Or does it feel unsafe because there is fear or shame around you not knowing?

It's "stay safe" mania out there! What are we so scared of? Fear, shame, rejection, abandonment, pain, joy, success, failure, the stock market, the real estate market, the supermarket. And yet, there is a chain of supermarkets called "Safeway." Who feels safe in Safeway? The only safety there is is knowing ones Self. And yoga can help you with that. That is the job of yoga. There are lots of articles about "is yoga safe" or "how to stay safe in class." The more you know your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies, the "safer" you will be because you will know what to do for yourself. It is not the teacher's job to know you that well. It is the teacher's job to know herself so well that she can provide a structure based on study, practice, and experience and to present material systematically in an order that makes sense for the student. The teacher will know this because they have been there. Not all teachers will have been where you need to go. Safety is not guaranteed with a bunch of yoga cues. Student get "safer" in class when they are present with tools and techniques, teachings that help bring them to the center of themselves, so they can get to know themselves better. So they know what they need. So they feel safe in saying yes or no or even "i don't know" and sitting in the not knowing. Anything can be dangerous.

In Ayurveda, they say all food is medicine or poison. It just depends on how it's used, how much, when, and on whom. Same with yoga cues. If I'm allergic to green beans, and the only option is green beans, I'm screwed. And what a gift it would be if my yoga teacher let me know there were other food choices out there.

Just sayin....

The Egg, The Sperm, The Corona, and Us

I am holding us all in a Corona of Community, Love, and Protection. This week, the meditation of the week (which is available on the Consciousness for Life Subscription for 4 weeks) recalibrate the root chakra, then moves into the 3rd chakra to cultivate a sense of cheerfulness as we remember the power of community. From that place of community and equanimity, we create a "corona" of protection. I hope you all take advantage of the amazing offerings out there right now, this being one of them!

The last share posed the idea that perhaps we just needed some “egg” time. Some of you may have started wondering what I was talking about. Here is more detailed go round about Egg and Sperm.

We are a combination, or the result, of an egg and a sperm coming together ("right now, to make me" - sing to the tune of the Beatles "Come Together.") Egg and Sperm are 2 sides to our now many sided story (#knowyourstoryknowyourworld).

The mind of the sperm is about swimming through obstacles. It’s about the outside world. "Sperm mind" gives us that competitive edge. A hierarchy. A place to go. A sense that we need to "get" somewhere - somewhere else. The mind of the sperm is goal oriented. There may be a team, similar to sports like football, where all the sperm create strategies to get the ball (egg).

The ball (Egg) just is. No attachments. No need to go anywhere. Content in itself to Be. The mind of the Egg is about the not-doing. It's about Being. It is a time of basking, nourishment, replenishing. No goals in the Egg. Egg is complete in its Self. It doesn't get Sh$t done.

We are both Egg and Sperm. Be-ers and Do-ers. And maybe the Sperm parts of ourselves have been in the spotlight for so long, that story and point of view is wearing on us. Maybe Team Sperm wants a time out. And maybe we forgot that we are also part Egg, and perhaps the Doer, the part of us that is out there getting Sh$t done, making our mark (insert visual of dog lifting leg) forgot why it was "Doing"in the first place. Maybe Team Sperm got so wrapped up in Doing it forgot what it was doing. Maybe it dropped the ball and forgot that it's goal was to get to Egg, get to a place of being able to Be, to experience the joy of Being both Egg and Sperm as a Whole Being. Unity. Oneness. 

Enter Corona Virus.

When I first heard the name “corona virus,” what immediatly resonated with me was the “corona.” Before conception, the egg has a “corona.” So perhaps the corona virus is helping us remember our egg. Quarantines are egg time. A time to be. To regroup. To give our sperm a rest. To acknowledge and remember that we have value even when we aren’t outwardly producing.

My hope is that we use this imposed “egg time” as a time to ask ourselves what’s working? Are there choices I would like to make that I haven’t? What are my values? What do I value? If I’m antsy, can I find a way to value both my sperm and egg equally? Can I see the necessity of both and not make one better than the other? Can I see how much sperm time I need to feel my joy, express my true nature, and reflect that divine essence that I am? Can I see how much egg time I need to remember who I really am, to connect with invisible forces and energies, to experience that I am more than a physical body? Can I see how both feed into the gloriousness of life here on the playground of earth? Can I see how it’s up to me to either enjoy or resist both aspects of my Self?

So stay healthy out there. And in there. And all around there. Do whatever you need to do to take care of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual/vibrational selves. And as you attend to all 4 of your bodies, feel your health evolve. Remember, sometimes things aren’t as they seem. And only you know what you need.

Perhaps this virus will help us all be more truthful about what we need and be more fearless in making choices that are in alignment with our health on all levels. Perhaps we may see the value of the unseen, of the egg, as an important player in the ebbs and flows and cycles of life. And as we ride the waves of life, may we learn to surf instead of being thrown around by what is around us, and feel the essential nature of our joy.

Humans Being, Humans Doing, the Corona Virus and me

I started writing this on Saturday March 14, 2020.  I hope this shines a light, affirms a thought, provides a distraction, or is somehow useful. 

Things have been moving rapidly, and I’ved updated quite a bit. A lot can happen in 3 days! Two additional follow COVID-19 musings coming. At the end of this email, I will summarize all the schedule changes as of 6pm this evening.

We begin the musings…

A week ago, I looked at my April-October travel schedule, got excited, then overwhelmed. I knew that in order to stay out of the fight, flight or freeze response that overwhelm can bring, I needed to digest my schedule one month at a time. 

January-Leap Year

 On heels of Jumpstart January, I was inspired, sliding, gliding, creating from my New Now. March blew in and I started to brace a bit. Even though I only had one weekend of travel in March (March 14-15), I felt the looming schedule of the next 6 months. In spite of the fact that everything on my travel schedule were things I wanted to do, there was something that was saying inside "too much."  I knew that I had the tools to do it, make it work, even make it fun! Yet, the part of me that has "limitless capacity chops" was also speaking. And it was voicing a bit of resistance to being pressed into service yet again. 

This was somwhere in the March 1-11 range. Then the US official position on the corona virus changed from hoax, to acknowledgment, and the cancellations began. Within 3 days, the April I had on the books, the April that was going to have me in the SF Bay area for 22 days, changed. As of today, I'll only be away from home for 3 days. And the March trip, spoiler alert, was cancelled as well. That is when I began to write down those thoughts and ideas that had been rolling around inside. 

Aside from some lost mulah due to me not purchasing travel insurance (why would I? These were Commitments! I was going! No matter what! And I booked way in advance, before there was even a whisper of COVID-19. Like most, I didn't plan for this, nor insure myself), I started to feel relieved. Relieved! I had "an excuse" to stay home, and even stay in, and not socialize, or attend functions, or anything! In fact, much of society would see me as "socially responsible" for doing so! 

So I started thinking...

Things I observed:

This is a global issue.

Sometimes crisis brings out the best in people.

Sometimes it doesn't.

Both sides are happening.

Regardless of how people are responding, this is a global issue. 

I kept coming back to "global issue." And unlike the looming issue of climate change, which I believe is happening, but its effects have yet come to a crisis level enough to force a disruption of people’s habits, values, or choices, this virus is presenting itself right here right now. It is literally in our faces. 

My personal observations and what have I been wanting, for a few years now, that I haven't really created for myself:

More introvert time.

More "egg" time.

More Human Being time and less Human Doing time.

Because it's never outside of myself -  Bringing together global and personal - in other words - did I create the Corona Virus???

What if my unwillingness or inability to make different choices for myself contributed to the creation of the corona virus? What if my essence was shouting at me to take the “egg time*,”  to “do less, be more,” and I just kept putting it off. And what if, somewhere inside of me, there was a Divine Timing that I refused to acknowledge, which resulted in me saying things like, “I’ll slow down sometime soon.” Yes, I made some changes, but not to the degree that I knew I wanted. 

But wait, there’s more!

What if I wasn't alone in those wants? What if others were also wanting to slow down, take stock, to do less and be more? To make different choices? What if others were needing some sort of "legitimate excuse" or reason to not go out, to work from home, to say no to social activities that had become obligations? And what if this desire, this want of more "Be" time (some might even call it "me" time) was brewing, bubbling, possibly festering as a Deep Desire that kept getting pushed aside or back burnered, or ignored because "how can I just stop what I'm doing?" “I have important responsibilities!” “If I don't keep going, and everyone else keeps going, I'll be behind!" "I won't be able to prove that I'm worthy to be here." "I won't produce and if I don't produce, my world will end." "I won't be able to survive unless I keep going and doing what I've been doing." "I don't have the luxury of making a different choice."

Enter COVID-19. 

Maybe the "luxury" piece got taken off the table. And now like it or not, perhpas what was a luxury has now become a necessity, from the global point of view. For the good of the Whole. And yes, we all have our own version of the personal piece, and yours may be very different from mine. But how does your personal piece dance with the global consideration?

Then I thought about how much more spacious I feel about my April schedule, not having to physically attend things. I feel like I have more time and space to be more in the Present Moment and make more Present Moment choices. I have less mind clutter around juggling and planning and "making it work." "Making it work" is a good set of chops to have, but it takes a lot of energy. What if I didn't need to keep "making it work?" Well, for me, I’m enjoying the breathing room and the time and space. I felt a bit of relief. 

So I started wondering if other people, even thought they may not be voicing it, might be feeling some relief for cancellations, format changes (#doitdifferently). Are we afraid to be grateful for the upside of the Corona Virus? Maybe the Corona Virus was created by a collective conscious or unconscious desire to explore the idea of “Humans Being” to balance the years and years and years of “Humans Doing?” Maybe our Essence, our "Corona" (the glow around the egg that signals that it's the one ready to become a physical manifestation of our consciousness) may be providing an opportunity for us to get in touch with what our consciousness really needs and wants. Maybe we just got tired of the hum, the buzz, the hamster wheel. Maybe we needed, wanted, and created a break from the routine, if only to assess and see what was working, what wasn't and then use that information to make more present and informed choices for your New Now. 

So when I started this on Saturday, I was at home instead of in Detroit. I'm taking time to write, reflect, and feel the spaciousness of my new schedule. I know things are still in flux, and for now, I will continue to adjust as I ponder.

My current questions are - 

How much do I self-quarantine?

What is my comfort zone? I'm healthy, I don't fear getting the virus, but what if I'm a carrier? 

What feels socially responsible?

What lessons can I apply to my life after the “pandemic,” aka “wake up call” is over? Am I willing to be changed? Am I willing to “doitdifferently?”

I don't have answers. I love the questions. And I trust the Wholeness and the perfection of the situation. Yes, I'm a silver lining kind of person. I'm OK with that. It's not based in sugar coating, it's based in my life experience of learning from other types of "viruses" over my years on the planet. 

But today, I continue to serve the Wholeness as best I can, flow non-judgementally with the changes, and bask in some time and space as I continue to explore myself as a Human Being. 

*defined and explained in the forthcoming post “Egg, Sperm, and the Coronavirus”

Cleaning for Inspiration

I had the best dream last night. I was commissioned to paint this really large inspiring piece for a woman. There was limitless budget. She wanted mermaids, colors, sparkles, swirls. She wanted to look at it and feel inspired.

This work was large. REALLY large. 2 large semi-circles that would connect. And I had a team. People who would be there to help me create and execute this vision.

What's not to love about that dream? As I've been spring cleaning physically, mentally, emotionally, I'm made some space. Space for vision. Space for inspiration. Space to see and know who I am now, instead of comparing myself to who I was or who I wanted to be.

So as I continue cleaning, I'm inspired to make space for inspiration! And I feel an immense sense of clarity from the dream. I'm no longer inspired to make "art for art's sake" like I was years ago. And just to be clear, I was extremely inspired ALL THE TIME doing it. But something changed when I got into creating yoga trainings and programs. That was my creation. And it was great. And different, And not creating art for art's sake.

Then I moved out of the community. One reason I moved is because I wanted space to create more. And after moving, I had the physical space I was craving,  but needed to clean out more space inside of me. I wasn't even aware of how much I had accumulated in the limitless space of me! So I kept cleaning. I started to feel more inspired. And now, here I am in a place where I still don't have a community to share my creations or offerings with, and the dream makes so much sense. I'm not into creating for creating's sake like I did in the past.

Now I want to make creations that benefit the not only myself, but others. I want to feel the support of community when it comes to these creations. I am not alone. Don't get me wrong - I'm just fine alone. I create great work alone. But what is inspiring me right now is to create not only create, but to have a place to share the creation to those who are interested, seeking, wanting the creation.

So even though I still vacuum, I know now that I don't want to create in a vacuum.  I move beyond into a new paradigm - creating that which serves the whole supports us all, and supports the creation itself.

What old paradigm can you vacuum out to see if there is a new one that serves you in this present moment?