Friends

I love my friends. Why? Because they reflect back to me the best parts of my Self. Even the parts of my Self I can't/won't/don't see.

awesome - this life we live.

thank you.

Need to know basis

The age of reason. Being reasonable. If we can only reason with them... There must be a reason. Everything happens for a reason.

Growing up in the age of reason, we need to make sense out of things. Justify choices. Make pro and con lists and let reason decide what is best for us.

Maybe one of the "reasons" we have trouble committing, is because we have given our power over to reason. The higher the stakes, the more fear, the more we want reason- guaranteed results. Stacking the odds in our favor. What is that if not a fear-based approach? And yet, as we enter into the Age of Enlightenment, our wiring is recognizing the fact that there are other, possibly "higher" faculties and factors at play. Maybe the difficulty we have in committing, is because we are torn between reason and intuition.

When we really listen to our inner voice, gut, heart, when have we been wrong?

And at some point, we need to surrender our need to know why. The need to make sense. We surrender our need to reason as our first response. As we surrender our need to reason, we begin to trust our intuitive faculties more. The connection to the divine becomes more "real." It becomes easier to commit to what is "right" for us, which leads to a life of less stress, least fear, less doubt, more joy, more inner peace and satisfaction.

Commitment

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Willing 2

Sometimes we know the answer and we want it to be something else. Bummer, right? The only thing that stands between ourselves and change is ourselves. Another bummer.

But not really. Because our willingness is something we can actually control. If we are willing to even consider the change that will make our lives better, that is awesome. If we don't have the will, so be it. But it is totally possible to cultivate that will and move beyond our present set of circumstances.

So if we are willing to focus on what we can change, which is our point of view, our thoughts, our actions, we can change our relationship to our life. Which in fact, is changing our life because we begin to live differently.

Willingness

sometimes it all boils down to what we are willing to do. n that case, what we are willing to do is what we are capable of. So when we work on strengthening our "will," that is what we are strengthening. Getting more umpff, more power, behind what we are willing to do.

now that begs the next question -- what exactly ARE we willing to do???

New Math + New Day = new math today

Tension plus tension equals more tension. Which us fine, if we get a bigger release. But what about tension that just accumulates? That's what sucks. When we endure tension without the payoff. Or the payoff isn't worth the amount of tension we endured. At that point, we must get real with our big, bad selves and stop the tension. Because at some point, we need to get out of that abusive situation, whether its at work, a partner , or even with an aspect if our selves.

Here's where I get to go all yoga teacher on you. When you feel neck and shoulder tension in a yoga pose, in all my years of practicing and teaching, not once have I seen someone hold a pose long enough for that tension to release. So if you aren't willing to go all the way with yourselves and bring yourself to the finish line (do I really need to spell it out?), then you must stop the tension. That means- stop the tension. Which means change something. In the case of yoga, change your position so you don't feel tension in that already tension laden area. Go off the page and find a placement for your head, arm, whatever, that doesn't aggravate your area of irritation. I don't care if your yoga teacher doesn't know what to do with you (i mean, how dare you do something other than what I'm telling you to do), you are the one that has to live in your body, not them. And btw- this also goes the other way- a teacher can suggest approach for you to try, hoping to help you find something that might help, and you choose to stick with what you know. Either way, it's on you, so commit to seeing yourself as an experiment and figure out what really works for you, whether it aligns with the current trends or not. That's yoga. Alignment with your Self.

And the more in alignment with your Self you are, the less tension you will have. So who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? or your Self? And that's the end of this discourse on higher math.

:)

New Math

A+A=2A

Tension + Tension = more Tension

Just sayin...

Seems obvious. But is it? We say we want to be tension-free, but do we really? Without tension there would be no spy novels, no theater, no art, no emotional music, no orgasm. Etc... We love tension for the release. We love that release. And sometimes the more tension we accumulate, the bigger the release, the better we feel. Of course, that feeling is usually temporary. Sing with me "you've lost that lovin' feeling... And it's gone, gone, gone, whoa oh oh oh"

We get addicted to that loving feeling, and because we associate release with tension, we seek tension. We pick fights to be able to scream. We starve ourselves to over eat. We cry to feel better. And there is nothing wrong with all that. Nothing wrong with wanting that lovin feeling. But maybe we are looking for live in all the wrong places...

How does this relate to math? Wait for it. Wait for it. (I'm creating tension. Setting up an expectation that if I don't live up to, you won't get the lovin feeling that you thought should follow the degree of anticipation, tension, that you've endured, only to end up disappointed and unfulfilled. So wait for it...

Over thinking

Hmmmm...  Hmmmm....    wait a minute. er, uh,
hmmmmmmm.....

I dont effin know!

But we do know. And you know what I'm talking about. Yep. Busted. Each and everyone of us. Here's my example.

I got an email from aDealio with those special groupons or whatever they are called, and one looked particularly appealing. It was for some spa treatments at a place in San Francisco. I went online and looked at the treatments and they looked wonderful. And the price was right. So why didn't I buy it right away? I had been thinking about getting some spa treatments to treat(meant) myself, and this groupon fit all the criteria and more. It was handed to me on a platter. So why the hesitation? 1) i couldn't decide which package to purchase. 2) i wasn't in the mood to buy anything 3) i wasn't ready to commit 4) i needed fodder for this blog.

We've all done it. The thing we've been wanting drops in our lap and we look at it like it'll either be there forever, or we talk ourselves out of it. Until it's gone. The groupon closed and the deal was no longer available. So now I'm sad that i didn't just jump on it when i knew it was something i had been wanting to do. We manifest things we think we want, and for whatever reason we don't receive, acknowledge, or act on the opportunities that we've created.

why not?
good question.

i think that we over-think. we start pro-ing and conning until we have lost our sense of truth behind it. the gut feeling. that sense of knowingness that we had in that flash of a moment, we throw water on it and start to doubt. then we rationalize what we think we should be doing, or collect evidence on what we think we think should be important to us, when actually, in that moment, the only thing that is really important to us is that we make the "right" decision. As if there was an outside judge. When really, we are the only judge that matters.

because when it comes down to it, and you have a choice to say "yes! i'll get the groupon for the spa treatment!" -- Do it! because i'd rather have the groupon than be bummed I didn't go for what i manifested in the first place.

when have we really ever regretted saying "yes" to something that seems crazy? when have we ever really suffered or wish we had said "no" to the thing that didn't make sense timing-wise, money-wise, etc-wise. All these creations are blessed events - like having a baby. No one is ever really ready, and there is no right time to have one. they just happen. Unless its one of those times where everything falls into place. But we usually say yes to those without thinking, because our rational mind can more easily accept the magic of manifestation.

So next time a groupon comes along for something i've been thinking about, i'll buy it. Or let it go - in other words, i won't keep thinking about whether or not to buy it. Like Heidi Klum says on Project Runway - it's in or its out.

Seeking

We don't look for things when we know where they are. Yet we seek to find the divinity, the light within. But if we know its within, then we don't need to look for what we already know we have. Or maybe we can't remember where we last left it. So we re-trace our steps, hoping to come across the thing that will trigger our remembrance.

Integrity

Dennis Adams, my teacher, would say " be true to yourself." That is integrity. The question is, have you surrounded yourself with people who reflect that loving aspect of you? The ones that let you be yourself, warts and all, and can sit lovingly by, in non-judgement? Can we be that person for ourselves? Can we lovingly watch ourselves with non-judgement?

As we learn who we are, what our priorities are, etc..., its helpful to be in an environment that provides us with the space to "be ourselves." As we get used to making decisions that are in alignment with our truth, we build our capacity to make those decisions in the presence of nay-sayers, people that hold a different truth. We build capacity to act in accordance to what's right/true for us, and allow others to do what's right for them. For aren't we the same nay-sayer if we judge another's behavior according to our own truth? it is when we can be ourselves and act in integrity, that is, being true to ourselves, and we are ok with others doing the same, then we have freedom in this world.

Seeds

Every thought, word, deed, is a seed sowed. What are you growing? Who are you growing?

Spoiled rotten

When we "spoil" a child, a pet, etc... What's that about? Perhaps we are treating it like we want(ed) to be treated? Then would we be spoiled because we won't be prepared for disappointment? And is that really so rotten?

Keep on

Some days, it's just some days. And those days add up. For the yoga sutras followers- abyhasa vairagya. For the non- sanskritians- keep on keepin on!

Simple

Sometimes simple works. With a side of time. That recipe, when slowly braised over low heat, turns out some great clarity. Adding a side of surrender makes the meal a complete opportunity to evolve past the past.

As rod Stryker once said, "ouch! Thank you."

dream on

I was just thinking about my dear Oshkoshian friend talking about her senior in high school's daughter. She was on the dance team, and really wanted to make her senior year, a year to remember. She wanted to "bring home the bronze" at the state championships.

Bringing home the bronze. We think, why didn't she aim higher? Why not the gold? Because the bronze was in  reach and the gold was not.  Very smart indeed.

When we are dreaming, dreaming big, go for the moon. When we are really looking to make that dream come true, start off with "mini dreams." Dreams we can actually see as coming true. Eventually we will be able to see the Gold, and it will be attainable, thanks to all the Bronzes. 

Life changing

When we have life changing experiences, what changes is how we fit into our life. Because the life doesn't necessarily change. Our experience of it does though.

Spring in your step

Spring forward! Just do it! There is ready made momentum to take that first/new/different step.

And yes, you may take dance lessons...

Life is a dance

And everything is beautiful at the ballet.

After indulging in quoting Steve Seskin, followed by A Chorus Line, I'm ready to blog.

I went to the ballet tonight. It was awesome. I really liked 2 out of the 3 dances. And what was interesting was that I didn't read any program notes. The result: I loved it more! The Rite of Spring , SF Ballet's version, was the heavy hitter on the bill tonight, and it was awesome! Afterwards, I went back and looked at the program. Had I read it prior to watching, I might have felt differently about the dance. Left to my own imagination, devices, instinct, gut feelings, I was thoroughly satisfied and exuberant with Yuri's choreography. Had I read the program, maybe not so much.

Setting up that expectation is a fine line. On one hand, it can help the person heighten their experience by giving them some background. Take Shakespeare for example. I really need to know whats going on before i get there, or i'm out to lunch. On the other and, it can get in the way of someone having a more "pure" experience.

I don't have the answer or the formula for drawing that line, but I know it exists. And maybe that's the answer. The line is there, and if we are lucky enough to be on the side of it that will help us have a more amazing experience, chalk it up to the yay" factor and celebrate!

Tittilating Titles

Who says "don't judge a book by it's cover?" We do it all the time. All the freekin time. Seriously. When don't we judge a book by it's cover?

And so, we are busted. And now, what are our options?
1) pretend we didn't judge the book by the cover
2) blame our perception on someone/something else
3) justify our behavior/perception
4) call out for pizza and hope that no one notices
5) none of the above
6) all of the above

And that is just the beginning of that particular Pandora's box, which I may or may not follow up on, depending on whether or not I like the cover...

So when looking through the titles of a blog, a table of contents, a menus, a book of short stories or essays, or whatever other random list of stuff, notice what is the shiny object we gravitate to. A catchy title? How many facebook "likes" or "shares?" The side dishes? A business card? Headshot?

Whatever it is, it had the power to capture your attention enough so that you chose it instead of something else.

Ever notice that the big S self doesn't always try so hard?
 Or does it?
Or what else has the better publicist?

In the meantime, if you judged the book by its cover, and ended up liking the book, who cares how you got there?

Timely Poem

back to my beat poetry days. just felt inspired. and no, the piano has not been drinking. this time...

Keeps marching.
Keeps ticking.
Keeps time
in a bottle
of shampoo
or gin
or something else that has the label rubbed off.

one thing for sure
this too shall pass

in fact
 it
   already
           has

Free Willy

When all is said and done, we are left with our choices. Free will. The will to go with the flow of past choices which is great if they are still working for you, but they can be a veritable whirlpool if they are not. Free will gives us the opportunity to choose something other than the whirlpool. So in the ocean of life, remember that drowning is only one option. There are others. Floating. Surfing. Drinking. Cruising. Swimming. Etc-er-ing...

Will free-will free Willy? And is it really free cuz someone once said there is no such thing as a free lunch and I was assuming that lunch was a metaphor. And I like me some metaphor. And I also like cake.

#freewilly
#anythingforgoodcake

Hanging out at the water cooler

So, your life is getting better. At some point, you don't have much to complain about. Maybe the circumstances haven't changed that much, but for some reason, you just aren't feeling bummed out by them.

That's all great. Except ---

Except now when you are hanging out at the water cooler with your cohorts, and the usual conversations and gossips start flowing, and you can't honestly chime in. What do you do? Revert back to the "old" you and start complaining? Do you create a problem to complain about? This would be a case of "survivors guilt" in a way. Can you embrace your new, improved life?

So keep doing your yoga practice. And during the process, start preparing for graduation day. The day you graduate from the water cooler complaining, and start practicing your new and improved speeches that work with your new and improved life.

Faith exampled and examined

Faith - not so blind. The faith we are looking for is faith in our Selves. Pandit Rajmani Tigunait says we are only as big as our faith. That would translate as, we are only as big as we think we are, as we trust ourselves to be. As we Know we Are.

Faith is knowingness. It is that thing we somehow trust no matter what, not because we have been told to, manipulated or scared into believing, but that thing that even though we may not have been able to prove it with evidence cards like we used in Debate Club, we knew it was true.

What rocks our faith? Doubt. What causes doubt? Hurt, pain, betrayal, disappointment. Once our heart is broken, it's harder to trust. But what were we trusting? The other person to behave like we wanted them to. So we learn to look deeper. We learn to trust our Self. We learn to listen and cultivate our Knowingness. In Knowing, we have Faith.

But is it Faith if we Know?

Yes, because what we Know, it's kinda hard to talk about. That's why we call it faith. So we dont' have to keep explaining ourselves.

inspiration

what can be more inspiring than a breath? Think about it...

fullness

when is enough, enough? We complain about eating too much. We feel stuffed. Guilty. Why did we do it?

I'll bet that the tendency to eat too much isn't only in the food department. I'll bet that most of those who have that experience of frequent overeating, are also those who say yes to whatever project or thing that needs to get done. They feel the need to do more, to take on more, to learn more, to be more, to earn more, to have more. Etc...

so if it's too hard to say no to food, try saying no to some other things first. Get used to the idea of moderation and start discovering when you are really full. Satisfied. Sated. And then practice giving yourself time to digest that which you just did, whether it's eat, finish a project, knock off another item from the to do list, or referee another family dispute.

if we move from one thing to the next without moments of digestion, we may have a hard time remembering what its like to be hungry for the next thing, food or otherwise. And then when we are hungry, that next thing is fun, tasty, welcome, instead of something we dread. Something else to digest and make us feel heavy, bloated, or numb in order to make it through.

so use food to practice life, or use life to practice the food relationship. it doesn't matter. start now.

are you hungry or full?