Holding keys

We all hold keys. And sometimes someone gives you theirs to hold, and maybe open a few doors. And then we keep the keys, or give them back.

Keys are only useful if they open the doors you need/want opened. otherwise they weigh down your purse or take up space in your junk drawer.

As teachers, we inspire others to find keys to open their unique doors. 

And I just mailed my mom's keys back to her, so she can open doors in phoenix. Since she lives there, and I don't. 

Moving

Whew! Moving. Brings up attachments. First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. And when a family pitches in to move one person, there are many "right" ways to accomplish the same task. 

So, on the mat, off the mat. Is taking a yoga class so much different? Many bodies, many teachers. Plus the questions: First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. 

Stress happened when we get attached to any of those questions, or to the outcomes/results/answers to those questions. 

So here we are, on the mat of life. Moving.

Fine lines

Oh those fine lines. The lines that come with age. And they are not limited to the ones we find around our eyes.

Many things happen as we age aka evolve. One thing is that we become more sensitive. Sensitive to how "things work." Sensitive to our preferences, to our likes and dislikes. This can be great. We don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. This is a timesaver, but we need to be aware that it also  takes us out of the present moment, since we are basing our choices and behaviors on a the past. Essentially, the efficiency that comes from the practice of living, is strengthening our samskaras, no matter if they are "good" or "bad."  

I'm not saying we should throw efficiency or the fruits of our practice out the window. I am suggesting that we stay aware of our tendencies, and notice when those tendencies start to crystallize and become attachments. It's a balance. A fine line. We watch them. We moisturize (detach). We release the fruits of our actions. We act, and release our attachment to the action and to the result, whether it be desired or otherwise.  And create another fine line.

Back to back

Guess I wasn't back. And now I'm having a back attack. Not my aching back, cuz it's not aching. And maybe I am and maybe I'm not, but as I'm riding in the car, taking in the 101south, I feel a heaviness in my head lifting and making way for something else. Will that something else be bloggable? Singable? Paintable? Edible?I won't know until I know. But I know that I know life keeps on and as long as we keep living, we are Life and Life is. Created by us, for us, performed by us. Ms Lila. You sweet and terrifying biatch of fullness. Bring it! Overwhelm me. Underwhelm me. It's all perfect. And so are we.

Another Rumi

What is the balance between disciple and surrender?

Embracing New

When to hold, when to fold. It all comes down to that when you come to think of it. 

waves

This past week I have felt waves. Not only waves in my hair, or radio waves, but physical waves in my body, waves in my mind.

and the big one that knocked me off my surfboard of life - a wave of grief.

That wave taught me a lot. I'd never felt a wave like that before. It seemed to come out of nowhere, but I no that it was spurred by my sister's birthday last week and the 1 year anniversary of her death in a couple of days. What I learned, is that grief is like forgiveness, or pratyahara (sense withdrawal - a yoga thing). We can't practice forgiveness. We have either truly forgiven or we haven't. We can't practice sense withdrawal, we are either in it or we aren't. All we can do is set up the conditions for these things to happen.

For me, grief now falls into this category. I gave myself space to grieve last year, but it wasn't until the last couple of weeks that the actual grief came forth. And I understand how it can be debilitating. I'm so grateful to be where I am in my life. So grateful to be alive. So grateful to have experienced its power, and so grateful to have both internal (my spiritual and yoga practice) and external (friends, etc...) support systems so I don't have to do it all alone.

One of the beauties of tragedy is that is provides an arena for community.

So thank you. Thank you. thank you.

Thank you community, inside and out. I am grateful for life. I am grateful for all of it.