choices

We’ve made our New Year’s Resolutions. And they are most likely jam packed with a bunch of things that we think are “good for us.” So we start doing them and at a certain point we start to get pissed off because someone is eating a buttery scone in front of you, while you eat the fruit plate. And you don’t really like fruit. And you don’t really like scones, but they can have one and you can’t so all of a sudden you feel deprived. Now what? Well, I can give myself a bunch of self talk about how great fruit is, I can’t get irritable and lash out at someone on the freeway as I drive home – deprived and hungry, I can eat the scone and then a couple more just because, then feel like crap and judge myself for not being strong enough, and also because I didn’t even like scones.

When we do something just because it is “good for us,” it might be a good idea to see where that “good for us” rule is coming from. Is it from the past? Is it because we think it will get us what we want in the future? Or is it because we know in the moment that is the choice to make?

As we continue to constantly make choices that are “good for us,” we may start to develop a set of rules to play by, which can turn into dogma, and following our dogma, fall into a feeling of self-satisfaction, which may move straight into self-righteousness. We did it and they didn’t. Which means I’m better than you. Why aren’t you doing it my way? Can’t you see it’s the best way because it’s good for me? Separation. Judgment.

The other side of the coin is to do something that makes us happy. The trap there is that we may not actually be in the moment when we make the decision.

So which is better – doing something because it’s “good for you” or doing something because it “makes me happy?’

Of course the answer is both or neither. When we focus on the external result, we’ve  kinda missed the boat to happiness. What if we just focus on not judging? What if we focus on staying in present time instead of the past and the future? If we focus on not judging, and that includes ourselves, others, situations, the weather, the state of the world etc… we develop a unique kind of compassion that will actually help us be in the moment. If we focus on staying in the present moment, we will start to drop our judgments because judgments are based in the past or future.

When we are in present time, aka “the moment” we will make the choices that are “good for us” because those are the choices that will make us happy. But hey, you be the judge.