Sunday, September 7, 2014

Community Part 2

So continuing with the value of community. It's interesting how the whole thing works. Once something is out there, it's out there. Like yesterday's post. I logged in today to start writing about "honesty," maybe going into an Olivia Newton John thing, like "I honestly love you" and talk about self love, being honest with ourselves and how important that is in order to really See or Hear, but I guess that will have to wait. Because honestly, yesterday's post on community was supposed to be a draft, a work in progress, not to be seen by the public. When I logged on today, and I saw that what was supposed to be a Draft was in the Published area, I felt like I had been caught with my pants down. For a moment, I had that sinking feeling like - omg, what did I say? I hope it didn't suck/didn't hurt anyone/didn't count. It felt like I aired dirty laundry without the permission of others, others meaning my internal voice of truth, my editors inside who help me discern what it is I'm really going for and what it is I'm trying to express without my "stuff," my samskaras, my attachments to cloud the truth as I experience it.

And it's all perfect. Because now I get to blog about something else. I can't take it back. That's the theme. We can't take stuff back. Once it's out there, we can't take it back. Just like yesterday's incomplete, out of context, unrefined babble of a blog. And no, i'm not beating myself up or judging myself. I'm just calling it like it is. It was, and still is, a work in progress that I may or may not choose to finish someday, but because it's now "out there," it leaves an impression. And we can't take these impressions back. We were the Cause of an Effect. Consciously or unconsciously.

So what do we do when we are left with the proverbial egg on our face? We are wanting to take back something that we said or did, perhaps impulsively, reactively, unconsciously? We clean it up. We let it go. We trust that we were doing what we needed to do in the moment and we get honest with ourselves about what went down for us internally in the moment of our decision to act, speak, not act, not speak, whatever. And then we get to work. If our actions harmed others, we clean it up. We can apologize, not for our actions, because we were doing the best we could do at the time. We apologize by acknowledging that perhaps we hurt someone in the process, including our own Soul, and we created an obstacle to learn from. But even then, maybe apology is not the best way to put it, because "yay! another obstacle to learn from!" is what we are doing here on Earth.

So we clean it up by seeing a bigger picture. By using the unconscious moment to help wake ourselves up to what was unconscious inside of us. To see that all of our little unconscious decisions, maneuvers have far reaching Effects. Because we were the Cause. Cause and Effect. Karma.

So how do we clean it up? We stop judging ourselves. And we stop judging others. And if we find ourselves hanging out on the corner of, let's say, the intersection of Conjecture and Imagination, where Samskaras love to breed, then get out of the way of flying Karma.  Because if we make a value judgement, take a side, get emotionally charged about someone else's Cause, we end up becoming the Effect. We are affected. Positive or negative.

So back to my original idea about Honesty. Get Honest with your Self. Who are we hiding from anyway? What is there to fear? Dirty laundry, schmurty laundry. And you know from past blogs (see "Another Load," "Laundry Day Part 2" etc...), i love to do laundry! Let's get to washing those clothes!

And, btw, in case anyone is conjecturing and concerned, I'm cool with everyone seeing my unfinished blob of a blog yesterday. I'm not taking it personally and I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.  I know who I Am. And if it took a me having a momentary freak out about an having a writer's babble bordering on blithering to get published instead of saved due to a combination of internet error signs and possible wrong button selection to get me to today's blog, then great. I'm even great-ful.

So community that I honestly love, thanks for being witness. I honestly love you. All of you. All of us.

#ihonestlyloveyou
#OliviaNewtonJohn
#gratitude
#karma
#ilovemycommunity
#fuckit-iloveallcommunities
#myclothesareclean


No comments:

Post a Comment