Another feast for the beast

It can be hard to let go of projects when you love all that you do. I guess gluttony isn't limited to the table. 

New

Do's and don'ts

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we do because we can. Sometimes we don't. Because we can. Sometimes we do because , as redundant as it sounds, we want to, have to, must do. And sometimes we don't because we can't, won't. 

And sometimes by not doing, that is by "don't-ing" we do the most. And of course the opposite is also true. 

We do. Oh dee do dah day.

Heads will roll

And then they did. 

Target

I went to target tonight. It's a very big store. And at night, it's very big and empty. You could get lost in there, and maybe some do. It brings new meaning to the term target practice. Even getting there. I circled, driving through 3 huge parking lots, all separated just enough by poles too close together to drive through, before I hit the target on the correct parking structure. 

Yes, target practice. But there were a lot of cool things in there. It's been awhile since I've been shopping, and I kind of dorked out. Impulse buy was a set of 80s glam colored sharpies. 

So what is the point of this blog? With practice, we get closer to our intended target. And if we give ourselves permission, we can get some cools pens along the way.

Cartoons

So, how do I see the world? Yes, sometimes I see cartoons, smiley faced, and all that cool dorky shit that makes me chuckle with the delight of a child. It at least the delight of my child- the child in me. Here are some beach cartoons I shot while in Monterey. Cartoon girl is back! 

Sri

Resplendent. Yes it is. 

And there are levels that we just aren't talking about. Some of them, because the are not immediately relevant. Others, because we just don't want to go there. And others, because we just can't. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Or a good one. Just a Sri One.

Long day's journey into night

Longest day of the year. Make it a good one!

Can I hear you say "Om!"

Today I was back teaching in my Ageless Yoga class, and he said that one of the subs was just like having me, only without the homilies! (He also mentioned he really likes the homilies.) So today in class it was pretty funny. I don't know what I was talking about - some esoteric idea about having lots of energy and how if you don't use it, it needs to express itself, so often it ends up in tension in the shoulders, arms, feet, etc... So there I am with the old homily again and in the middle it I shout "Can I hear you say OM!" We all had a great laugh.

I love my job. And the homilies. 

Transitions

Last class at planet granite today. It was like saying goodbye to an old friend. Yes, we'll call, but it won't be the same. 

Part of the practice is to be ready to move to the next thing. To know when the inhale is complete and it's time to exhale- not in mid-breath, but to allow the transition to happen without choking, gasping, or holding the breath. Because one thing is for sure, as long as we are alive in a physical body, we keep breathing, and as we breath, we embrace the ebb and flow, the in and out. We embrace those pairs of opposites that Patanjali talks about in the yoga sutras. We embrace duality. 

Embracing duality without becoming attached. That makes for seamless transitions. Joy. 

Mother sea

Moody beauty mother sea

Comes to kiss me

Will you miss me?

Mother sea's got no beef with me

Washing my feet in her house

In her mouth

How do I wash the feet of the mother?

Muscle

Mussel down!

Bird walk

If you run backwards, it must feel like what a bird feels when it walks forward. Try it. I did. :)

Feeding time

Everything feeds off each other. Gulls, mussels, sand floats, barnacle, crabs, fleas kelp. All feeding off each ior her.

People may not eat people, but were the luckiest people who feed off of each others ideas. Food for thought.

It's a food frenzy. A food fight. 

I'm full now.

Humanity

Warning: humans at play. 

Humanity. We are all in this together. Do we admire each other's humanity, or do we use it as evidence to compare ourselves- to make one greater or less than? Do we admire and respect "humanity" because we have empathy/relate/are inspired, or do we admire it  because we need to feel better about ourselves and witnessing the "human-ness" of someone else makes us feel better about our own "humanity?" And if that is the case, isn't "humanity" just another word for "less than?" Or are we really at that place where we can delight in the ugly and the beautiful with equanimity?

Spa Day

Taking a spa day can look like many things. No matter what shape "spa" takes, we are looking for something relaxing, rejuvenating, battery re-charging, prana building. Something that we go in feeling one way and leave feeling better. From this point of view, there are so many "spa" moments in our day. 

Maybe we should have a contest to see who "went to the spa" the most in a given day. And for some, that little competitive edge, will feel spa-like.

And "spa" is "aps" backwards. And for some, playing with aps is like a spa-day. 

for me, i even like taking a vacation in my own mind. but hey, taking an actual vacation works too. 

Holding keys

We all hold keys. And sometimes someone gives you theirs to hold, and maybe open a few doors. And then we keep the keys, or give them back.

Keys are only useful if they open the doors you need/want opened. otherwise they weigh down your purse or take up space in your junk drawer.

As teachers, we inspire others to find keys to open their unique doors. 

And I just mailed my mom's keys back to her, so she can open doors in phoenix. Since she lives there, and I don't. 

Moving

Whew! Moving. Brings up attachments. First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. And when a family pitches in to move one person, there are many "right" ways to accomplish the same task. 

So, on the mat, off the mat. Is taking a yoga class so much different? Many bodies, many teachers. Plus the questions: First- to move at all. Then, where to move, when to move, who's moving what? How to move. Where to move it once you're there. And there is a "right" way for everyone. 

Stress happened when we get attached to any of those questions, or to the outcomes/results/answers to those questions. 

So here we are, on the mat of life. Moving.

Fine lines

Oh those fine lines. The lines that come with age. And they are not limited to the ones we find around our eyes.

Many things happen as we age aka evolve. One thing is that we become more sensitive. Sensitive to how "things work." Sensitive to our preferences, to our likes and dislikes. This can be great. We don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. This is a timesaver, but we need to be aware that it also  takes us out of the present moment, since we are basing our choices and behaviors on a the past. Essentially, the efficiency that comes from the practice of living, is strengthening our samskaras, no matter if they are "good" or "bad."  

I'm not saying we should throw efficiency or the fruits of our practice out the window. I am suggesting that we stay aware of our tendencies, and notice when those tendencies start to crystallize and become attachments. It's a balance. A fine line. We watch them. We moisturize (detach). We release the fruits of our actions. We act, and release our attachment to the action and to the result, whether it be desired or otherwise.  And create another fine line.

Back to back

Guess I wasn't back. And now I'm having a back attack. Not my aching back, cuz it's not aching. And maybe I am and maybe I'm not, but as I'm riding in the car, taking in the 101south, I feel a heaviness in my head lifting and making way for something else. Will that something else be bloggable? Singable? Paintable? Edible?I won't know until I know. But I know that I know life keeps on and as long as we keep living, we are Life and Life is. Created by us, for us, performed by us. Ms Lila. You sweet and terrifying biatch of fullness. Bring it! Overwhelm me. Underwhelm me. It's all perfect. And so are we.

Another Rumi

What is the balance between disciple and surrender?

Embracing New

When to hold, when to fold. It all comes down to that when you come to think of it. 

waves

This past week I have felt waves. Not only waves in my hair, or radio waves, but physical waves in my body, waves in my mind.

and the big one that knocked me off my surfboard of life - a wave of grief.

That wave taught me a lot. I'd never felt a wave like that before. It seemed to come out of nowhere, but I no that it was spurred by my sister's birthday last week and the 1 year anniversary of her death in a couple of days. What I learned, is that grief is like forgiveness, or pratyahara (sense withdrawal - a yoga thing). We can't practice forgiveness. We have either truly forgiven or we haven't. We can't practice sense withdrawal, we are either in it or we aren't. All we can do is set up the conditions for these things to happen.

For me, grief now falls into this category. I gave myself space to grieve last year, but it wasn't until the last couple of weeks that the actual grief came forth. And I understand how it can be debilitating. I'm so grateful to be where I am in my life. So grateful to be alive. So grateful to have experienced its power, and so grateful to have both internal (my spiritual and yoga practice) and external (friends, etc...) support systems so I don't have to do it all alone.

One of the beauties of tragedy is that is provides an arena for community.

So thank you. Thank you. thank you.

Thank you community, inside and out. I am grateful for life. I am grateful for all of it.