Monday, May 27, 2013

judge and jury

we make a mistake. and before we know it, we are tried, found guilty, and punished. Before anyone else except for us is even aware of the mistake.

why are we so hard on ourselves? it's as if we take power away from those who we fear if we beat ourselves up more than they ever could.

Maybe we are preparing ourselves for the worst, so that when we are exposed, publicly humiliated, or whatever horror is to come, we are already brutalized to the point of numbness, and we gladly accept our "punishment."

Or maybe we fear that if we don't beat ourselves up, the person will punish us more than they normally would.

Or maybe we just exposed our judgmental side of ourselves, to ourselves. Yuk. If we are really living from a place of non-judgement, we would make the "mistake" and let it go, confident and fearless of the consequences. We would know that we cant control the reaction of others. We would know that it's only damaging to ourselves to beat ourselves up so much that the person who will be dishing out the official consequences feels better about it and maybe even justified in doing so based on our own reaction to our behavior. We would know that the actions of the other person cannot hurt us, our lives, or our welfare, since our strength, support, and physical life is not in their hands.

How much faith do we have in our non-judgemental Selves? How much confidence do we have in our ability to surrender and accept what is? How much clarity do we have that the source of happiness and nourishment comes from within?

How much faith do we have in the bargins and social rules we follow that we will get what we deserve (good and bad)? How much confidence do we have that we can actually change the way a person thinks and responds? How much clarity do we have that we can really find fulfillment from our jobs or our relationships?

You be the judge.
Of yourself.

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