Back to Blog

I took a break from blogging. Why? Because. That should be enough of a reason.

Back Home

Back home. No lizards to write about. No agaves. Just back in the real world digging through a stack of stuff. Stacks of stuff. Stuff sacks.

Moving on and forward.

Final Exam

Today they take the final exam. So what does this mean? There will be no more exams? Ever? Wow. Give me that final. Or not. Cuz then it would all be over. And life is good.

Every moment is a final exam of sorts. It's literally a "test" to see how we will decide in the moment. Will our past be the decider? Will our ego/identity? Will our soul? And how are we doing on the test? We give ourselves the grade. We give ourselves the choices we make, and therefore the life we are leading. So if you like your life, you are passing. If not, you might want to study some more.

Tapas - it's a main course

Our life is Tapas. Tapas, all day, everyday.  If we choose to live like that. And though it may seem extreme or impractical to have a daily diet of tapas (pun intended), I say “serve it up!” It’s coming anyway, so we might as well make the most of it.  And that is to have our life be our tapas. Our “austerity.” Our “heat.” Our practice. 

the NOW

It is beyond beautiful today. Right now. Now. The weather can shift in a instant, so I can stay inside and type, or I can go NOW and enjoy something that I often take for granted. NOW to enjoy that which will never be the same again. This NOW is already a new NOW and the weather is already shifting.

And so I am.

YMONA

YMONA - Yours, Mine, Ours, None of the above, All of the above

Artists are expected to have influences on their work. People constantly ask me as a musician, “Who do you sound like? Who are your influences?” basically, who do you want to be?  It’s been hard to answer those questions. Do I go back to what music I listened to on the radio growing up? Do I go back to what was played in our house that I didn’t necessarily choose to listen to, but was expose to anyway? Some of the jazz greats and American Idol top 12 say that they owe everything to their parents who exposed them to (fill in the blank) style of music, whether it be gospel, jazz, whatever.  So when do we stop imitating and start being ourselves? When have we assimilated those influences and even though I loved and still love Ella Fitzgerald, and learned every nuance, every riff, every breath of her singing, when am I not just an Ella imitator?  And then there is the question of plagiarism. When am I honoring Ella and when am I ripping her off?

It’s a fine line and at some point, apparently it needs to be drawn. I’m not sure how. I just know that I want to sit on this for awhile. 

Parts is Parts

“Only the adult blocks free expression by separating the parts from the whole. The child says “I run,” “I jump,” “I sing,” not “I am toeing out,” “my shoulders are back,” “I walk on the balls of my feet," until the adult has split his attention, making details the focus.” 

--- Mabel Ellsworth Todd, The Thinking Body, pg 281

Ok, the alignment thing never ends with me. Maybe it's because I'm teaching alignment right now, so it's quite in the forefront of my mind. Today yoga asanas seem to have become a series of 3-5 cues about where the feet, pelvis, arms, and focus go. So students learn the poses as a series of cues, instead of having their initial experience of the pose be from the essence, or energetic of the pose. The whole of the pose. The Whole. Trikonsansa. What are you? When I ask my students "who are you in this pose? What are you saying in this pose? What is the "personality" of this pose?" it's almost as if they have no idea what I'm talking about. Especially when they keep asking me where their hips go or what they are "supposed" to look like. Sometime I think to myself "who cares - how does it feel?" "How does this pose relate to you? to your life?" And sometimes I say it. Out loud. In class. Without apology. 

So doesn't it seem that this approach is taking us away from the Whole? And isn't yoga about union - self with Self - aka the Whole. So we have dissected into parts the very vehicle (yoga asanas) that was supposed to bring us to wholeness in the first place? 

Hmmmmmmm.

There. I said it. Out loud. In a blog. Without apology.

You may wish I'd just shut up already. But I won't. Without apology. But with love.

Crabs

I walked out of my room this morning and what did I find? A baby crab turned upside down on my doormat! It fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. I'm thinking, can it possibly be alive? How did it get here? It's really far from the ocean especially if your legs are 1.5 inches long. What should I do with it?

Well, first I went back inside and put on some clothes that would be appropriate to walk down to the beach in. Then, i took my toothbrush out the hotel glass that i've been using as a toothbrush holder, rinsed it out, and put the baby crab in it. I showed it to the resident healer. I asked if I should take it down to the sea. She said yes.

So I did.

I put it in the ocean and it was swept away. Did the crab come back to life? Get eaten by a shark? None of the above? Who knows. I did what I thought was the best thing at the time, and let the Divine take care of the rest.

Voices Inside My Head

Voices Inside My Head

I actually choreographed a dance for myself with this title. It was solo, no music. Very radical back then…  Little did I know that this theme would be a recurring one in my life. Ok, well, I did kinda know that I was on to something…

Those of you who know me and/or the classes I teach, know that it’s all about off the mat. You know that I could care less whether you ever get into the splits or get your legs behind your head.  Not to say that I don’t give ample opportunity or instruction to help get you there if those are your goals. But for me, the real juice of teaching is what happens outside of class.

I was trying to quantify what it is I bring to the table as a yoga teacher. What makes what I’m teaching different. As teachers, we ask ourselves these questions. First of all, it helps when a potentially new student wants to know what your class is like. And it’s critical as we brand and market ourselves, which based on the fact that yoga has fallen into the “Health and Fitness” model, we have to do that.

So I asked my students. They said, “Even though I feel amazing after your classes, and so and so’s  classes, when I’m out there in the world, having some trouble, it’s your voice that I hear in my head. You help me off the mat.”

To be clear – it’s not “me” – it’s the primordial pool of teachers that stand with and behind me, that come through me when I’m teaching. But that makes total sense. I don’t shy away from using gross and radical imagery or examples in my classes. You know why? People remember them. And do you know why else? People see that they are just like me and as Dennis Adams taught me “if I can do it, you can do it.” I like to close the gap between student and teacher and acknowledge that we couldn’t exist without each other, that they are teaching me as much as I am teaching them. Period. So if it’s my voice in your head that I hear, and it’s helping, YAY! If it’s someone else’s and it’s helping, YAY!  Even if I can help inspire you to want to know yourself, who you really are, then I’ve done my job. Whatever voice you hear in your head that’s helping is great. My goal is that it leads you to your inner voice of truth, so it’s your voice inside your head that’s helping.

And as Edith Ann would say, “and that’s the truth. (big raspberry followed by sheepish grin).

Hari Om Tat Sat