Sometimes you need a brush

Sometimes it works to roll the paint on, but when you need heftier coverage, Ya gotta use a brush. 

The bigger the samskaras (impressions), the more paint you need to clean the slate and create a blank canvas.

#paintingandyoga

Things come back around

Yes they do. Ooooo baby oooo. 

When we moved to the Bay Area in 1996, I stopped painting. I tried to keep it going, but since I paint large, and space came at a premium, I put it on the back burner until the stars realigned and I could pick up a brush. Yes, I could have adapted, and I tried, but it wasn't my expression. What I did, however, was trust. And wait. And without forcing and grasping, we are now sharing a large creative space. All the art is in. Resistance is out. And the heat is on! Bring on the primer and staple gun!

God I love my life.

#artallday

#paintinggames

#letsgetmessy

Happy anniversary!

Happy anniversary baby! 20 years! 

20 years. The result of putting one foot in front of the other. Staying present. Welcoming growth. Self study. And then you look at yourself, each other, whatever, and say, "yeah, we did that." 

20 years. 20 years in relationship with another person is just part of the equation. There are all those other years in relationship with Self as well. And the combination of both can be really powerful. At least it has been for me. Thanks to the mirror that has been my husband, my partner, I have had a constant reflection of what I look like, how I operate, where my buttons are. Where it was easy to hide from certain aspects of myself, ignore or even justify the righteousness of my personality, in relationship, I had, and still have, a constant litmus test to see what is driving me. And for this I am truly grateful. 

One of the big things that I got to look at was the ideas around justice, fairness, and the behavior of others. I got to ask myself the question, why do I want a person to behave in a certain way? Is it based on my concern for them, or out of concern for my own well being? Did I want them to treat me a certain way because I feared being hurt or inconvenienced in some way? And what would be the fear around that inconvenience?

Great questions. And over time, great answers. Life isn't about convenience. Marriage may not be convenient sometimes. And like life, may hurt sometimes. But over the long haul, I am grateful for the process, for the partnership, for you husband. 

My public hallmark card. Marriage may not be easy, but from where I sit, it has been worth it. So worth it on many levels and dimensions. 

Thanks for you. Thanks for us. 

And would you please pick up your socks? Or not.

I love you.

:)